Friday, April 08, 2005

Search Request Weekly

I know we didn't have this last week, what with me being sick and all, so here's an extra-big batch to make up for it:

  • red nose pit wallpaper: I'll tell ya, my nose seems to be full of red pits at the moment, judging by how much bloody snot I've been blowing out of it in these latter stages of the Cold That Would Not Die. But I really don't think you want to use that as wallpaper.

  • flying dalek spoiler: I've heard rumors about flying Daleks, but nothing concrete enough to qualify as a spoiler.

  • christopher eccleston BARE CHESTED: Ooh, can he keep the leather jacket over the bare chest? 'Cause I think that would be a good look. Ahem.

  • Knife AND: And what? And fork? Don't keep me in suspense, here!

  • unscratchable CDs: Ah, that would truly be a miracle of modern science.

  • what does its not what you have that counts its what you don't have mean from the West: Beats the hell out of me. Maybe I don't live far enough west.

  • "definition of fun" Crichton: I believe it involved beer, pizza, fast cars, and sex. No, wait, that was his list of "things worth living for." Eh, close enough.

  • feline psychology: If you figure it out, let me know. Those critters' brains mystify me.

  • how many a series of unfortunate events has how many books so far? is it is 2005.: No, I'm pretty sure there aren't 2005 of them. More like 11.

  • "not alan rickman" lyrics: Google tells me there is actually a song by this name. I had no idea not being Alan Rickman was an idea worthy of being captured in song.

  • transformers shockwave breakdance: Breakdancing Transformers? Wow, talk about your flashbacks to the 80s...

  • SEX XXXXXL ANIMAL: So, you want elephants having sex?

  • "doctor adventures" porno: Ah, the other series of "New Adventures"...

  • "personal business matter": Hey, I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but I finally got those yahoos who kept leaving that message on my answering machine to stop! Never did find out what the "personal business" was, though.

  • "Doctor Who" "Geek code": As I recall, the Geek code includes Star Trek, but not Doctor Who. This seems like a serious oversight.

  • funny quotes about introverts: I'd offer you some, but I'm too shy.

  • ulysses gatsby: Is that what you get when you mash-up a James Joyce novel with an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel?

  • similarities in flowers for algernon and charly: Gosh, there were an awful lot of similarities, weren't there? Might it have something to do with the fact that they were two versions of the same story?

  • blogspot stark easter: Well, Stark was a religious figure who was executed and came back from the dead...

  • Atheist in Chiana: Chiana does not discriminate with her sexual partners based on religion.

  • granny porno samples: What, buying granny porn is like buying wallpaper? You get to look at samples first?

  • "my allergies are starting to" sneeze: I hear ya, buddy. *sneezes in sympathy*

  • scorpius hawaiian shirt sale: I actually have seen that shirt for sale somewhere, though they wanted a lot of money for it, not to mention postage from Australia.

  • "andrew farewell": Yes, farewell, Andrew. Perhaps we will see you on another Buffy spinoff someday.

  • blog, blogger, my boobs pics: I do hereby swear to you, my reading public, that you will never, ever see pictures of my boobs on this blog. And not just because I don't have image hosting set up, either.

  • wizard of oz oo-ee-oo: Damn, now I'm gonna have that stupid chant in my head all day.

  • Where did the phrase "happy camper" come from: Geez, people keep asking this blog all these difficult word origin questions. I have no idea, though now I'm curious. Fortunately, when I say things like that, usually people then go and look it up for me.

  • How many hours of sleep do astronauts usually get each night?: Well, "night"'s kind of a problematical concept in space...

  • Palpatine, acumen: I suppose Palpatine has some acumen. Which is more than I can say for George Lucas these days.

  • BATTLESTAR GALACTICA nude pics: Hey, there's a show I've never got nudie pics requests for before!

  • journal on contingency management and stealing: When disaster strikes, loot! What more does one need to know?

  • "mmm good" wav: Why do I have a sudden craving for Campbell's Soup?

  • illustrated Buffy sex game: I've gotten a bunch of requests for this before, but never any indication that there was an illustrated version.

  • free pics of maximum insertion: I'm not gonna ask "insertion of what?" I'm just not.

  • bart simpson and prose naked astronaut: Um... Wow, I don't even have a response to that one.

  • orican the religion: It's Luxan. HTH.

  • grayza tattoo: My first, horrible, though was that someone wanted a tattoo of Grayza. Then I realized they were just interested in Grayza's tattoos, and breathed a sigh of relief.

  • DEFECTIVE GLASS RUNNING WAVEY: I'd have that replaced if I were you.

  • buffy the vampire slayer game season 7 scenario: Based on what I remember of season 7, I imagine that'd involve the players getting their asses kicked repeatedly.

  • american viewers opinion of blackadder: Well, this American viewer loves it!

  • farscape pics sexy GRAYZA: But she's not sexy. She's... skanky.

  • no charge or cost porno: You do know that old saying about getting what you pay for, right?

  • "my closet" toddlers room organizer: Organizing a toddler's room? Oh, yeah, that'll last.

  • very ticklish mom: I don't think my mom's more than ordinarily ticklish, but I can't say I've ever tested that.

  • tyr anasazi shades: *pictures Tyr in shades, zones out for a while*

  • boob ascii art: Ah, the artistic heights of human culture.

  • naked TARDIS sci fi fakes: Naked? You mean... without the Chameleon Circuit?

  • Christopher Moore Fluke Farscape: I've been trying to think what Christopher Moore's Fluke and Farscape have in common, and the only think I can think of that ties them together involves the word "Leviathan."

  • wild wacky hairstyles: Sorry, mine's boring, short, and brown.

  • "doctor who jokes": OK, here's my favorite, from one of the novels. "Q: What goes bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud, bang thud? A: A Time Lord committing suicide." That one had me laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes.

  • how do you make Native banik bread: First, you grind up your Baniks...

  • hull breach dilbert: That's what they get for making the Pointy-Haired manager the Captain.

  • transterrestrial wibblings: No, that's Transterrestrial Musings. What you have here are "random wibblings."

  • shower scene seaquest: Did it involve the dolphin?

  • spock and kirk getting very friendly sound wav: But Spock and Kirk were always friendly... Oh.

  • very old grannys: Are much more common than very young grannys.

  • sex with partners in nude pictures: As opposed to solo sex in nude pictures, which I guess is a slightly different kink.

  • hacking cough.wav: Given the way this stupid cold seems to be moving down into my chest, I may be able to record this for you soon.

  • Farscape Scratch N' Sniff screencaps: OK, I know this is a simple request for screencaps from the episode, but somehow I'm imagining Farscape images you can scratch to release interesting alien smells, and it's making me giggle.
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