Friday, November 28, 2014

This Is Why I'm Not Leaving The House Today

A humorous fake movie trailer, apropos of the day:

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Look, I'm Blogging!

I have been neglecting this blog horribly again. Partly that may be because I've been neglecting everything horribly. I seem to not be doing very much besides working and sleeping lately. Winter is definitely here now, and my body just wants to go right into hibernation mode. As for working, my hours have been even stupider than usual. This is the first full day off I've had in more than two weeks. (Admittedly, some of those days I was only in for an hour or two. But still.)

Also, the things that strike me as entertaining enough to share with the world are things I suspect the world might have a differing opinion about. Like the following possibly TMI-ish observation: Since my hysterectomy, the local grocery store has continued sending me coupons for tampons, which, I confess, I have taken great glee in ripping up and throwing in the trash. (Free! I am free! Never shall I be subject to such things again!) But then, earlier this month, it gave me a coupon for diapers instead. WRONG ASSUMPTION, STORE! Also, that's kinda creepy.

Possibly I should at least have wished a Happy Birthday to Doctor Who on Sunday. But I will do that now. Doesn't matter that it's belated, right? After all, what's time to a Time Lord? The show has now been around for 51 years. I find it oddly comforting, these days, to be into things that are older than I am. It lets me avoid the unpleasant jolt I get when I hear fully adult human beings say things like, "Oh, yeah, I remember that from when I was a little kid!" about things that seem to me to have started practically yesterday.

In other news, I think my Thanksgiving plans have fallen through. Which I feel worse about on behalf of the people I had plans with -- deprived of my Thanksgiving dinner company! -- than for myself. Especially as I fear I may be coming down with a cold (which may be skipping all the usual preliminaries and heading directly for my chest this time, although I hope I'm wrong about that) and might be better off just going with the hibernation impulse. Anyway, new plan: buy a small turkey breast if the store still has any, or a chicken if they don't, and throw it in the oven. Then maybe watch Aliens, as a revival of the Thanksgiving tradition I tried to start a few years ago. (Quite what it says about me that I think Aliens makes ideal Thanksgiving viewing, I don't know. But, really, if we can't be grateful that we're not hosting alien larva in our bodies, we can't be properly thankful about anything.)

Anyway, that's me these days. Still not dead! I hope that is true of all of you as well.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

This Post Is Brought To You By My Chilly Feet

Why is it getting so cold? It cannot possibly be winter yet! I'm not ready for winter! Bring back fall!

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Yes, That Helped!

Doctor Who was, in fact, pretty awesome. Also, I may have had some rum.

I am way less stressed now! Yay!

In Which I Whine A Lot About Being Broke

Good news! The roofers are here today working on my roof, and if all goes well, at least water leaking in on me from above is one thing I shouldn't have to worry about again.

Bad news! Once they actually took some of the roof panels off, they discovered even more things that the previous roofers fucked up, and to repair everything properly is going to cost more than initially estimated. Rather a lot more. Which, considering that it was already going to cost me pretty much everything I had in the bank, is not so good.

But it does mean a new 10-year warranty on the whole roof. And they are going to give me 90 days, interest-free, to pay them the balance, which will be doable without too much problem if I put a good chunk of my regular expenses on the credit card. Again. Along with the new orthotic inserts for my shoes, which my insurance is probably not going to pay for, but which I need in order to, you know, walk. Unless I find a way to enjoy stabbing foot pain. Oh, and the new eyeglasses -- hello, bifocals! -- which I have been putting off for two years.

God damn but I am getting tired of digging myself deeper and deeper into debt. I am clinging hard to the knowledge that I should actually have some money coming in soon -- an inheritance from my uncle who passed away earlier this year, for which I am deeply grateful. We're not talking about a life-changing amount of money, or anything, but at least enough to help with this stuff. But I still don't know exactly how much that's going to be or exactly when it's going to be, and in the meantime I sit here hoping nothing else is going to fail catastrophically. (As opposed to the slow, gradual ways everything currently seems to be failing, that is.)

Bah. Now I've whined so much I'm even annoying myself. It's going to be OK, really. I could be way, way worse off, as far too many people are. But that doesn't make me any less tired of it all.

Man, the Doctor Who finale tonight had better be awesome. I can really use the cheering up.

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

November Currentlies

The way time is getting away from me lately, I'd better do this now while I'm thinking of it, or it'll suddenly turn into December while I'm not looking and I still won't have posted it.

Current clothes: A light gray Doctor Who t-shirt, featuring a picture of the TARDIS and a lot of scribblings in Gallifreyan. Blue jeans. Gray wool socks. Brown boots.

Current mood: I'm in a surprisingly good mood, and have been for days. I say "surprisingly" because I've got all kinds of things I could be stressing about, and it's not like I'm not thinking about them, but for whatever reason my brain has decided it would much rather focus on the stuff that makes it happy. I am so not complaining about this.

Current music: Pink Floyd and Weird Al Yankovic. Apparently the Pandora app on my phone ran into some kind of problem, and now that's all it will play. It took me a ridiculously long time to realize this, partly because I don't actually use Pandora much, but also because Pink Floyd and Weird Al seem to do a pretty good job of meeting my basic musical needs.

Current annoyance: Having a human body. As per usual.

Current thing: Uh... Focusing on stuff that makes my brain happy, instead of stressing?

Current desktop picture: It's still this one. I was going to change it last month, and never did.

Current book: I just finished Desert Solitaire: A Season in the Wilderness by Edward Abbey, which was a well-worthwhile read. Next up is Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie, which I'm very much looking forward to, because the first book in the series was terrific.

Current song in head: "The Scientist" by Coldplay.

Current refreshment: Diet Pepsi.

Current DVD in player: Disc 2 of season 7 of The Big Bang Theory. Ah, The Big Bang Theory. Never have I found a show's humor to be such a thoroughgoing combination of the irritating and the hilarious.

Current worry: Oh, you know, health, money, shelter. The usual.

Current thought: My new coffeepot, unlike the old one, does not beep to let me know it's finished brewing, or that it's been on too long and is shutting itself off. It's astonishing how unhappy this makes me. I can't shake the utterly irrational feeling that it just doesn't like or care about me as much as the old one did.

Sunday, November 02, 2014

And When The Clocks Are Messing With Me Is Precisely The Time I Most Need My Coffee!

Also, apparently the time change was too much for my coffeemaker to deal with, because the clock froze up suddenly and now comes up with odd semi-random numbers whenever I plug it in or hit the on button. It constantly amazes me how many different ways these really very simple machines can find to fail.

The Clocks Are Fighting Me

Once again, the end of Daylight Saving Time has hit me at a point where I really need to be staying up later by the clock, meaning that extra hour works to my disadvantage. But at least I'm not on night shifts this time.

Still, just once, I'd like to experience the fun form of time travel, maybe by TARDIS or DeLorean, rather than just by switching time zones constantly without ever leaving home.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

I've Just Got One Question For You, Punk: Red Or Green?

I'm going to a Halloween party tonight. Well, I think I'm going, anyway. This particular party happens every year, and almost every year so far, something comes up to prevent me going, to the point where, if I believed in such things, I'd half-suspect some cosmic force wants to keep me away. But so far, no bizarre obstacles have cropped up. Yet.

Halloween parties can be a bit awkward for me, though, anyway, because a lot of my friends are really into costuming and do amazing stuff at Halloween, and me? I can barely thread a needle. Basically, any skill that involves manipulating physical objects or creating anything visual, you can safely assume I'm going to be crap at. I'm much better with words. So my strategy generally is: put together a half-assed costume and find something. clever to say about it.

This year, the party has a local theme: "Weird New Mexico." Thus, I am putting on a cheap cape and a Zia sun symbol t-shirt I already happen to own (for reasons I've never been entirely clear on), and calling myself Captain Chile, New Mexico's first superhero. Why such a crappy costume? Eh, it's only temporary. I'll get around to doing a real one maƱana.

I have been amusing myself, possibly a little too much, by coming up with details about Captain Chile. Like:


Chile blast! Red from the left arm, green from the right, or, for particularly dangerous miscreants, it's Christmastime! Particularly effective when aimed at the eyes.

A brief but withering blast of hot, dry wind and intense sunlight, resulting in instant sunburn and bodily dessication.

The ability to create small, localized sandstorms.

Telepathic rapport with roadrunners.

Possible origin stories:

Swallowed a piece of trinitite.

Ate some mutant chile. (In retrospect, the way it was glowing and pulsing should probably have been a tip-off, but I just figured that meant it must be really hot and took it as a challenge.)

Toxic waste leak at Los Alamos.

Encounter with a mystical ancient spirit at Chaco Canyon during the summer solstice.

Bitten by a radioactive roadrunner.

Powers bestowed by Roswell aliens. (They're still there, you know. Some of them work at the UFO museum, in disguise.)

Secret government experiment at Sandia. I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to call the Men in Black to wipe your memory, and I don't want a repeat of last week.

Crimes fought:

Cattle rustling. (Well, OK, not really, but it seemed like it needed to be on the list.)

Overcharging people for crappy turquoise jewelry.


Crane poaching.

Blue meth cooking.

Wasting water.

Saying, "Wait, there's a New Mexico?"

(And if you understood everything in that post, congratulations! You're a New Mexican!)