Friday, December 19, 2014

Behold, The Christmas Yo-Yo!

It's not really the holidays unless something goes hilariously wrong, right? This year's example:

I bought a present for a family member on ebay, early in the month. The seller mailed it off quickly, and the estimated delivery date was Dec. 12. Just enough time for me to feel fully confident I could get it, wrap it, and send it along to its distant recipient in time for Christmas.

Allow me to share with you the tracking info for this package, as of today. Keep in mind that Albuquerque is the correct place to send it; that's where mail usually comes before being sent out to my local PO. Note, also, that Austin is about 700 miles away from me.

Friday, Dec 19, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Processed through USPS Sort Facility
Wednesday, Dec 17, 2014 ALBUQUERQUE , NM Departed USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 17, 2014 ALBUQUERQUE , NM Arrived at USPS Facility
Monday, Dec 15, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Departed USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Out for Delivery
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Sorting Complete
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at Post Office
Friday, Dec 12, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Departed USPS Facility
Friday, Dec 12, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014 CITY OF INDUSTRY , CA Departed USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014 CITY OF INDUSTRY , CA Arrived at USPS Facility
Sunday, Dec 7, 2014 CLEVELAND , OH Departed USPS Origin Facility
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 CLEVELAND , OH Arrived at USPS Origin Facility
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 UNIONTOWN , OH Departed Post Office
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 UNIONTOWN , OH Acceptance

Yeah. Anybody want to place any bets on how long it's going to do this for? Or whether the Post Office will actually respond to the help request I submitted on their website?

I wonder who they tried to deliver it to in Austin...

(Also, the kicker? The item's ebay page said it was going to be sent FedEx. Probably the seller thought it wouldn't make a difference. HA.)

Thursday, December 11, 2014

How Could I Resist The Time Lord Name Generator?

Get your own time lord name from the time lord name generator!

Your time lord name is: The Monitor

Your original Gallifreyan name is Jodtrisdanuarizadathene, or Jodtris for short. Back on Gallifrey, you led a dull and uninteresting life, working as an Assistant Librarian at the Patrexe Academy – but now, you travel Time and Space in search of adventure!
Your Type 66 TARDIS is currently stuck in disguise as a Coca-Cola vending machine, and your latest travelling companion is a bright-eyed, easily confused English teacher from 1968.
Get your own time lord name from the time lord name generator!

I can totally believe that as my story if I were a renegade Time Lord. Although I can't help wondering what exactly it is I'm monitoring...

Sunday, December 07, 2014

The Last Time I Will Do This This Year

Current clothes: Gray sweatpants. Venture Bros. Guild of Calamitous Intent t-shirt. White socks.

Current mood: Good and relaxed and generally pretty happy. I've had the last five days off work, thanks to a lot of shift-swapping to accommodate people taking time off over the holidays, and it's been wonderful. Almost enough to make up for all the stupid hours I was working last month.

Current music: I don't know what that last song my iPod random-shuffled at me was. There's some odd stuff on there. Hang on, I'm going to look it up. Aha! Apparently it was "Atypura" by Yma Sumac, from The Big Lebowski soundtrack. There you go.

Current annoyance: The fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Man, there's nothing like having a few days off to make me wish I were independently wealthy. Or independently middle class. That would be fine.

Current thing: Listening to lots and lots of podcasts. I finally got caught up on the ones I was subscribed to, so I went and subscribed to a bunch more.

Current desktop picture: I have switched it to my traditional holiday wallpaper, featuring the TARDIS with snow on it and a wreath on the door.

Current book: Eight Little Piggies: Reflections in Natural History by Stephen Jay Gould.

Current song in head: "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode, "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift, "Every You Every Me" by Placebo and "Everything is Awesome!" from The Lego Movie are currently duking it out for domination of my neurons right now. It is making the inside of my brain kind of an interesting place to live.

Current refreshment: Peach tea.

Current DVD in player: Most recently, X-Men: Days of Future Past. Which was okay. It was fairly ridiculous, but mostly in the ways that superhero movies are supposed to be ridiculous. It did provoke a bizarre combination of reactions from me, though, especially towards the beginning, when I was simultaneously thinking, "Wow, this is a lot of exposition" and "Yeah, I'm sure if I were familiar with the comics I'd know who all these people are." It kept me modestly entertained for a couple of hours, at least, and not just because I kept staring in some kind of weird fascination at Peter Dinklage's amazing 70s 'stache. Mind you, it really needed more Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan, but you could probably say that about any movie.

Current worry: I have stopped worrying for the moment, slipping instead into a pleasant, comfortable state of apathy.

Current thought: New episode of Once Upon a Time coming up shortly. Woo-hoo! (Yes, I am a very easy person to please.)

Friday, November 28, 2014

This Is Why I'm Not Leaving The House Today

A humorous fake movie trailer, apropos of the day:

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Look, I'm Blogging!

I have been neglecting this blog horribly again. Partly that may be because I've been neglecting everything horribly. I seem to not be doing very much besides working and sleeping lately. Winter is definitely here now, and my body just wants to go right into hibernation mode. As for working, my hours have been even stupider than usual. This is the first full day off I've had in more than two weeks. (Admittedly, some of those days I was only in for an hour or two. But still.)

Also, the things that strike me as entertaining enough to share with the world are things I suspect the world might have a differing opinion about. Like the following possibly TMI-ish observation: Since my hysterectomy, the local grocery store has continued sending me coupons for tampons, which, I confess, I have taken great glee in ripping up and throwing in the trash. (Free! I am free! Never shall I be subject to such things again!) But then, earlier this month, it gave me a coupon for diapers instead. WRONG ASSUMPTION, STORE! Also, that's kinda creepy.

Possibly I should at least have wished a Happy Birthday to Doctor Who on Sunday. But I will do that now. Doesn't matter that it's belated, right? After all, what's time to a Time Lord? The show has now been around for 51 years. I find it oddly comforting, these days, to be into things that are older than I am. It lets me avoid the unpleasant jolt I get when I hear fully adult human beings say things like, "Oh, yeah, I remember that from when I was a little kid!" about things that seem to me to have started practically yesterday.

In other news, I think my Thanksgiving plans have fallen through. Which I feel worse about on behalf of the people I had plans with -- deprived of my Thanksgiving dinner company! -- than for myself. Especially as I fear I may be coming down with a cold (which may be skipping all the usual preliminaries and heading directly for my chest this time, although I hope I'm wrong about that) and might be better off just going with the hibernation impulse. Anyway, new plan: buy a small turkey breast if the store still has any, or a chicken if they don't, and throw it in the oven. Then maybe watch Aliens, as a revival of the Thanksgiving tradition I tried to start a few years ago. (Quite what it says about me that I think Aliens makes ideal Thanksgiving viewing, I don't know. But, really, if we can't be grateful that we're not hosting alien larva in our bodies, we can't be properly thankful about anything.)

Anyway, that's me these days. Still not dead! I hope that is true of all of you as well.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

This Post Is Brought To You By My Chilly Feet

Why is it getting so cold? It cannot possibly be winter yet! I'm not ready for winter! Bring back fall!

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Yes, That Helped!

Doctor Who was, in fact, pretty awesome. Also, I may have had some rum.

I am way less stressed now! Yay!

In Which I Whine A Lot About Being Broke

Good news! The roofers are here today working on my roof, and if all goes well, at least water leaking in on me from above is one thing I shouldn't have to worry about again.

Bad news! Once they actually took some of the roof panels off, they discovered even more things that the previous roofers fucked up, and to repair everything properly is going to cost more than initially estimated. Rather a lot more. Which, considering that it was already going to cost me pretty much everything I had in the bank, is not so good.

But it does mean a new 10-year warranty on the whole roof. And they are going to give me 90 days, interest-free, to pay them the balance, which will be doable without too much problem if I put a good chunk of my regular expenses on the credit card. Again. Along with the new orthotic inserts for my shoes, which my insurance is probably not going to pay for, but which I need in order to, you know, walk. Unless I find a way to enjoy stabbing foot pain. Oh, and the new eyeglasses -- hello, bifocals! -- which I have been putting off for two years.

God damn but I am getting tired of digging myself deeper and deeper into debt. I am clinging hard to the knowledge that I should actually have some money coming in soon -- an inheritance from my uncle who passed away earlier this year, for which I am deeply grateful. We're not talking about a life-changing amount of money, or anything, but at least enough to help with this stuff. But I still don't know exactly how much that's going to be or exactly when it's going to be, and in the meantime I sit here hoping nothing else is going to fail catastrophically. (As opposed to the slow, gradual ways everything currently seems to be failing, that is.)

Bah. Now I've whined so much I'm even annoying myself. It's going to be OK, really. I could be way, way worse off, as far too many people are. But that doesn't make me any less tired of it all.

Man, the Doctor Who finale tonight had better be awesome. I can really use the cheering up.