Parts of This Are Actually Frighteningly Apt.

He... Helium. You scored 29 Mass, 26 Electronegativity, 38 Metal, and 0 Radioactivity!

That's odd, our tests indicate that you did not just take this test. In fact, we're not even sure you exist. Oh, wait, no, somebody just found indirect evidence of you in the deep Earth and in the Sun. Okay, so you're real, but man, you need to get out more. Actually, you're pretty cool, always doing your own thing, but we kinda wish that you would interact with us a bit more. On a positive note, I think some research lab in Berkeley has managed to put you into a psuedo-stable relationship that, if you're kept very cold, you won't walk away from... or maybe that was Xenon. I forget.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 36% on Mass You scored higher than 40% on Electroneg You scored higher than 14% on Metal You scored higher than 1% on Radioactivity

Link: The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on OkCupid Online Dating