Tuesday, March 22, 2005

And Yet, Somehow, "Skinny Homeowner" Still Isn't Really My Self-Image.

So, I met with the real estate agent again today, this time to go over the results of the house inspection and draw up a list of things the sellers are supposed to fix. Gaah, I'm getting so sick and tired of going back and forth and filling out paperwork and having meetings. I just want it to be over. And I keep getting this sour, clenched, stress-feeling in my stomach whenever I deal with this stuff. It's silly, I know, but I can't help but feel worried that I'm making a huge mistake, that I'm buying a crappy house. What I am buying, in fact, is an old house, one that's far from in perfect condition and has a couple of problems, but I know that. I'm OK with that. It seems perfectly livable, and the price means that I can easily afford the mortgage, so it works for me. But I still can't shake the worry that there's going to be some overlooked problem that's going to cause the house to collapse under me in a year or two, or that a decade or so from now I'm going to want to sell it and everyone will laugh at me because no one less stupid than I am would want to buy such a place, let alone at what I paid for it.

I'm sure once it's a done deal I'll feel much better. A soon as I can tell myself, "That decision's been made, now the only thing to do is live with it," I can relax. Living with my decisions, I can do. I've got that down. Actually making the decisions, though... Aargh. Well, with any luck, it should all be over with in about three week's time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

In more news that will be of interest to no one but me, the other thing I've done so far today is to go out and buy some new jeans. I finally came to realize that my "fat jeans" are now too big on me to be entirely comfortable, even with a belt. So I want out and bought a couple of pairs in the next size down. (Though, come to think of it, maybe I should have also bought a smaller belt.) I've lost something like 25-30 pounds in the last year or so, which absolutely amazes me because, historically, I've not exactly been Ms. Willpower when it comes to food. So, yay, me! I should take myself out to dinner to celebrate. Heh.

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