Post-Surgical Currentlies

Hey, look, I managed to do this only a little belatedly!

Current clothes: Blue pajama pants, gray pocket t-shirt, fuzzy blue slippers. I'm mostly not bothering with actual clothes these days. Especially as my belly is swollen enough that even my comfy sweats are uncomfortably snug.

Current mood: Not too bad this morning. I gotta say, though, that my morale is starting to flag a bit. I am ready to be done with this "healing" crap and to get back to my life. It's still going to be quite a while yet, though. And probably much, much longer than that before I'm 100%. Sigh.

Current music: Nothing, really. Instead of listening to music, I'm still slowly catching up on years' worth of Radiolab podcasts.

Current annoyance: Three weeks ago, someone sliced me open and cut out an internal organ. Whatever the long-term benefits of that might be, there is nothing -- nothing about the short-term effects that is not annoying. But I think the grand prize for annoyance has to go to my current inability to get comfortable in any position, anywhere. Gaaah.

Current thing: Attempting to see how many books I can read before I go back to work. Current tally is fifteen.

Current desktop picture: It's still the same bookish image as last month. I really like this one; I think I'm going to keep it around for a while.

Current book: I just finished Terry Pratchett's new Discworld novel, Raising Steam, which unfortunately left me feeling a bit "meh." Next up is Starman: The Truth Behind the Legend of Yuri Gagarin by Jamie Doran and Piers Bizony.

Current song in head: "Travelling by Steam" by Fairport Convention, thanks to Terry Pratchett.

Current refreshment: I have lemon-ginger tea brewing. Gotta stay hydrated!

Current DVD in player: Nothing at the moment. I can't find a comfortable position to watch TV in, either. Bah. But I did recently finish watching season 2 of Archer via Netflix streaming.

Current worry: As you can imagine, my current situation is a fertile breeding ground for hypochondria. I have to keep firmly telling myself things like, "Yes, I'm pretty sure the scar is supposed to look like that" and "No, one wrong move in the process of getting off the couch is probably not going to ensure you never heal properly."

Current thought: I actually am showing real signs of improvement. Aforementioned getting-off-the-couch is a lot easier than it was, and I've reached the point where, with great care a little help from my knees, I can reach down and pick things up off the floor. Still, it is all very sloooooow. Where are my tissue-repair nanobots?!

Heal Faster, Dammit!

Hello! I am still here! However sporadically I may be communicating.

I had my two-week follow-up appointment with my doctor, who says that my surgical incision is healing very nicely indeed. It's all taking a while, of course, but that is to be expected. Still, I'm getting there, I guess, however slowly. My mother, having stayed for a little over two weeks taking care of me (and picking up all kinds of things I accidentally dropped on the floor), is finally on her way home, having been at least mostly convinced that I will be able to feed myself and the cats in her absence. (Which I will be, although there are a lot of frozen entrees in my future, I fear.)

Number of books read so far since my surgery: nine and a half. Which is respectable enough, I think. Although I have discovered the flaw in my plan to "read like it's my full-time job" during my convalescence, which is that, well, there are good reasons why I'm not doing my actual full-time job at the moment, and one of them is that healing this kind of damage takes a ridiculous amount of energy. So everything goes very slowly, even more so than it would otherwise, and come the afternoon, more often than not, I need to stop and "rest my eyes" for an hour or so. Still, I at least feel vindicated for all those shelves full of unread books I've accumulated, because when I am awake and not engaged in the basic maintenance tasks of feeding and cleaning myself, lying around losing myself in a book is practically the only thing I want to do.

I fear it's all going to get old fast from here on out, though. Yes, time to lie around and read is great, but, man, I'd trade significant sums of money just to be able to sleep comfortably on my side again. And to be able to reach every part of myself in the shower. And to be able to get up off the sofa without engaging in several minutes' worth of careful gymnastics to avoid using my abdominal muscles as much as possible. Man, you don't realize just how much you use your abdominal muscles for until they're not available! Then again, you don't realize just how much you can do with your feet until you need to.

But the number one biggest thing I think I've learned from this whole experience is that, despite everybody's dire warnings not to because it WILL BE STOLEN OMG!, bringing an mp3 player to the hospital is the best idea ever. I think those back episodes of Radiolab saved my sanity when I wasn't quite up to reading. Because, even when I'm on morphine, I will never, ever be desperate enough for daytime television.

Greetings From Recovery Land!

Hello, internet! Just checking in with an update. I've actually been meaning to do that since Saturday, but it's hard to get around to it with my full, busy days. For new, much slower definitions of "full" and "busy," of course. Mostly what happens is that I think about updating, but, well, Mom is making lunch, and then after that I need to walk around for a bit (because walking is important in my recovery and also makes me feel better), and then when I'm done that, I'm exhausted and need to lie down for a while. And then the entire process repeats with dinner. Along the same lines, my decision to let my online life mostly go hang while I'm recovering has turned out to be a good one. Right now considerations like proper pillow configuration or the detailed state of my bowels are infinitely more important and relevant than whether I'm keeping up with website X or owe a response to person Y, which would merely serve as distractions if I let myself care too much about them. Life has taken on a slow, timeless quality, with a focus on primitive essentials.

Which includes books, of course. While plan Read Like It's My Job has not gotten into full swing yet, I have already finished six books since my surgery. Mostly quick and easy ones, I admit. Number seven is more ambitious and is going to take me longer, I think, but it's actually really nice to dive slowly into a book knowing, as I lie in bed resting and reading, that I very literally have nothing better to do.

Anyway. For the record, everything seems to be going very well, post-surgery. I may have made myself sound pitiful above, with my tiredness and slowness, but that's just what a period of healing is like, and it's abut the pace I want to go at right now. I am not a complete invalid. Just taking it very, very easy. So far, there seem to be no problems, and while the pain was pretty awful the first couple of days, it's not too bad now. I stopped taking the narcotic pills a day or two ago, and that worked just fine.

Sitting here at the computer is a bit uncomfortable, though, and I am not even going to contemplate the logistics of using the laptop -- seriously, figuring out the pillows was hard enough. And posting to this blog from my phone is seriously annoying. (If my last post sounded less like me than usual, it's that, and my lack of energy to deal with it, that's the reason, not drugs or pain or anything else.) So, that's it from me for the moment, I'm afraid. Back to my important slow walking and essential lying-around activities!

Hi!

Hello! Am still mostly incommunicado, but hi and thanks and will get back to you later to those who emailed. Am out of hospital, and all is well, or as well as expected. Abdominal surgery sucks, and I do not recommend it as a recreational activity. But the surgery went very well, and I am more or less up and around. Still don't expect to hear from me regularly for some time.

I'm Still Alive (But Not Doing Science For A While)

This is just a note to say that I'm out of surgery and am still breathing. Well, I probably am. I'm writing this post ahead of time, and have asked my mother to hit "post" on it when she gets back from the hospital on Tuesday -- assuming that I am, in fact, still breathing -- so that I don't have to worry about it while I'm high on painkillers. Hopefully she'll manage it OK. My mother is, um, not exactly tech-savvy, but it should not prove too challenging. (Love you, Mom! Thanks!)

Anyway, since this is a pre-recorded message, I'm afraid I have no details for you, but I trust that everything went swimmingly.

Oh, Just Yank This Stupid Thing Out Of Me, Already.

We're getting very close to my surgery date now. It's scheduled for Tuesday. And the fact that that is still true is something of a miracle. I had yet more awfulness yesterday with last-minute schedule changes from my doctor's office, and the doctor whom I was assured would be around to take care of me if I had problems afterward backing out on me. For a little while there, it looked like they were going to insist on rescheduling for weeks later or that I was going to have to insist on going to another hospital, and I swear, I felt the purest sense of despair I have ever felt in my life. But in the end, things were worked out (and I had a nice, long chat with the practice's manager about their many, many fuck-ups), and we're still going ahead. If I had it to do over again, I would not have this done here in Socorro, but hopefully they will manage not to kill me. (Note: That is a joke. If I really thought the doctors were as prone to screw-ups as the admin staff, I wouldn't be doing it, no matter how many people's schedules or how much of my own life it would screw up. And as surgeries go, this one is very low-risk.)

The real bad news is that the stupid drugs I took to try to shrink the fibroid didn't work at all, so they are going to have to do an abdominal surgery, which means more pain and longer recovery times. Not to mention a three-day hospital stay. Sigh.

Well, hopefully I am ready for it, or will be by Tuesday. I'm working on getting the house cleaned, getting various things set up so I won't have to bend or stretch too much (e.g. to scoop out the cat food), and stocking up on supplies. My mother will be here late Saturday evening, and incredibly grateful I am for her help (and her willingness to stay an extra week if necessary, since I'm having the more invasive surgery). I'm also terribly grateful for everyone who's offered to help out if I need anything once she's gone. Much as I hate to ask for help and am trying to arrange things so I need as little as possible, I may well have to take some of you up on it.

Hard as it is after all the additional stress I've had around this, I'm trying to maintain a good attitude and do things right. I really am incredibly happy every time I think about the long-term results. And as for the recovery period... Well, I'm planning on reading books like it's my full-time job. Which is actually something of a fantasy of mine: just being put in a room with absolutely no distractions, and told to read what I like for eight hours a day. My only worry is that my brain will be too fuzzy from tiredness and pain medication to manage it, and I'll find myself in the shoes of Burgess Meredith in that classic Twilight Zone ep: time enough at last to do all the reading I want, and no ability to actually do it. But worst-case scenario, even that should only last a couple of weeks at most. And I have taken the pain medicine the doctor's prescribing for me before, and it didn't make me groggy. And if I am really out of it for a while, well, I've also got a Netflix subscription, and thus access to all kinds of mindless television.

One thing I have decided is that this time, in general, is going to be thoroughly and unapologetically "me" time. Because I think that's the only way to do it. It's going to be my time to rest and read with no distractions, no little voice in my head telling me I should get up and do something else, no responsibilities to anybody. The rest of the world can do without me for a while. (Some friends, when I mentioned this, commented that this retreat-from-the-world plan made me sound a bit like Thoreau and promptly dubbed it "Nerd Walden." I like it!)

Just for the record, my intent is also to refuse to worry about whether I owe anybody e-mail, or am keeping up with people's blogs, or whatever. Heck, sitting upright at my PC for long periods will probably not be a good idea. I got a bed tray I could put my laptop on, but it doesn't actually fit well over my big, fat belly, even before it swells up from surgery. And doing much of anything on my tiny, slow phone is just annoying. So, come Tuesday, you won't see as much of me online for six weeks or so, either, although I'll no doubt check in once in a while, especially as I start to feel better. I'll at least try to post some sort of "Hey, I survived the surgery!" message afterward, maybe the next day. But don't panic if you don't see me posting here, or if you're accustomed to getting e-mail from me and don't see any for a while.

Books, Man! Books Everywhere!

I went to the giant Albuquerque library sale today, and got two large grocery bags full of books for $5 per bag. I'm not going to tell you how many books that is. Let's just say I, uh, got my money's worth. And exactly how I filled those two bags, I really can't tell you. It's all kind of a blur. I just... walked in, and then things got sort of hallucinatory, and then at some point I emerged with books.

And then I had to fight my way home, through trials and tribulations, like the mighty, heroic hunter of books that I am. Eighty miles home, through high winds and dust storms! And at one point, I came disturbingly close to hitting a roadrunner. Yay, New Mexico. (Note: roadrunners, in real life, are not nearly as intelligent as the one in the cartoons. This one was trying to be less of a roadrunner and more of a highway sitter, which is really not very smart.)

Anyway. It is very, very clear that I am not going to run out of books while I am recovering from surgery. Whether I am going to run out of bookshelf space (again!) is, of course, another matter.

May The Currentlies Be With You

I may not be blogging every day anymore, but there's still always this!

Current clothes: It's pajama-blogging time! Because, really, this is earlier than I should even be up. I've got a red plaid bathrobe, black pocket t-shirt, and pajama pants that I bought at the Seattle Space Needle gift shop, which have Space Needles and other Seattle-themed images on them. Also fuzzy blue slippers.

Current mood: Tired and generally kinda not great. I've been starting to get a little stressed over my upcoming surgery, and my doctor's office is doing a darned good job of undermining my confidence and generally making things more difficult. Yesterday, I got a call from them that basically boiled down to, "Um, your doctor decided to go on vacation a couple of days after your surgery date and wanted to see if you'd reschedule because she won't be around if you need her, but we kind of forgot to call you about it for three weeks. Oops." Which is upsetting on so many levels. I am still recovering from the mini stress meltdown I had over that. I did not sleep super well last night. Sigh. (And, no, I'm not moving my surgery date. Three weeks ago, it would have been difficult. At this point, it is not really doable.)

Current music: Rick Grimes vs. Walter White Epic Rap Battle. I really needed that laugh this morning! (Warning: contains some Walking Dead and Breaking Bad spoilers.)

Current annoyance: Once again, it's the stupid meat body. Waah, waah, I need surgery, I need sleep, I need new eyeglasses, I hurt my pinky finger, these drugs are giving me hot flashes, I've gotten too fat, I need a haircut, waah, waah, waah. Shut up, meat body.

Current thing: Thinking about the zillion and one things I need to do next week.

Current desktop picture: I said last time that I ought to change it, perhaps to something else book-themed, and lo and behold, I did!

Current book: Hey Nostradamus! by Douglas Coupland.

Current song in head: Apparently it is "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons. I had to look that up. It's one of those songs that I only know because it's always on the radio. I mean, I listen to the radio maybe ten minutes a week, and I've probably heard that thing a dozen times.

Current refreshment: Coffee. Wonderful, brain-nourishing coffee!

Current DVD in player: Disc 2 of season 3 of Game of Thrones. I fear I have gotten very attached to Tyrion.

Current worry: I really am getting more nervous about the surgery the closer I get to it. But, despite my doctor's office's worrying signs of administrative incompetence, I'm sure it will be fine. Annoying, but fine.

Current thought: Man, I need more coffee.

Oh, Dear, It's All Gone A Bit Wrong.

OK, so, for the record: Homemade chicken quesadillas? Not nearly as successful a culinary experiment as the French dip. Right now, my kitchen kind of looks like a Mexican restaurant exploded and took out the chicken farm next door.

Everybody's Getting Older!

Happy birthday to my nephew, who is thirteen today!

Thirteen.

Thirteen.

I just keep looking at that word and boggling. Surely, surely I am not old enough for the next generation down to be hitting its teens! Except that every time I think that, I find myself remembering that when my mother was my age, I was already well into my college years. And this thought is really not helping.

The Thrilling Conclusion Of Blogs-A-Lot April!

So, we have reached the end of April, and with it, the end of my nearly-month-long blogging-every-day experiment. Whether people who are not me have found this interesting or annoying or anything at all, I have no idea. But for myself, despite sometimes having difficulty thinking of things to talk about and those stretches where all the entries were short enough that I might as well have gone with a Twitter account instead, I did find it worthwhile. Even if the reasons why it seemed worthwhile are surprisingly hard to pin down.

It isn't something I could easily go on doing forever, or even something that I'd want to if I could. But I'm kind of liking the idea of doing it again sometime. Maybe I could even make Blogs-A-Lot April an annual event. April would seem a particularly appropriate month for it, too, since it's this blog's anniversary month. (It's 12 this month! Ye gods, that does not seem possible!) But we'll see how I'm feeling a year from now.

In the meantime, I will at least try not to lapse into silence again too often or for too long. And I'd like to offer up a friendly wave and a "thanks!" to everybody who stopped by and commented this month, whether on the blog or via e-mail. Always nice to know you're out there, guys!

It's What's For Dinner.

I have discovered the easiest Crock Pot recipe ever: one rump roast, a couple of cans of beef consommé, some hoagie rolls... Voilà! French Dip! Man, I love cooking that involves hardly any actual cooking.

Everyone Knows It's...

It was pointed out to me that when I referred to the spring weather in New Mexico as "beautiful" a few days ago, I neglected to mention the high winds and blowing sand. I would now like to formally apologize to the wind for this oversight, and respectfully request that it cease its current attempt to make itself the center of attention.

Once Again, Having Run Out Of Things To Talk About Leads To Book-Related Links.

I don't have every problem on the 99 Book Nerd Problems list. But, hoo, boy, the ones I do have..

Uh... Stuff.

It's probably a good thing that this blogging-every-day experiment is coming to an end in a few days, because I have reached the point where I find myself staring at a blank screen and thinking, "But my life is boring, and I don't have anything I want to talk about here!"

Well, let's see. Things I've been doing with my boring life...

In a break between seasons one and two of Game of Thrones, I've been watching season two of Adventure Time. It is difficult to imagine two shows with a greater contrast. Except that they're both fantasy, I guess. And feature a lot of characters who appear to be royalty. And ice.

On the book front, I am reading David Copperfield. I have been reading David Copperfield for a solid week now, because that sucker is almost 800 pages long, and Dickens, whatever his virtues, is not winning any awards for being Mr. Fast-Paced and Zippy. It is worth reading, though.

I have a very long list of things I need to get done before my surgery, which I keep staring at, but most of it is stuff that I think I should wait until just beforehand to do. Like hacking down the weeds in my yard, because I won't be able to do it again for quite a while, or getting a haircut so that, while I'm lying in bed bemoaning my lot in life, at least I won't have to do it with horrible bed hair. Also, on the topic of lying in bed and recovering, I'm wondering now if I should get myself one of those lap desks so I can use my laptop in bed and bemoan my lot in life on the internet.

This is yet another weekend of working 12-hour shifts. Man, I'm not going to miss those while I'm recovering. Even if, by that point, all the shows I get miffed about not being home to watch on Sunday night will be on hiatus, anyway.

And there you go. That's what's up with me today.

Well, Hey, It's Better Than Owing.

I cashed my federal tax refund check today. All six dollars of it. I think I'm probably going to spend it on candy bars.

It's After Midnight, So This Counts As Today's Post.

I just watched Frozen on DVD. And I enjoyed it. It's got some cute, funny moments, and it ultimately subverts some of the more eyeroll-inducing Disney movie cliches in ways I really like.

Also, Pittsburgh Dad's review of it is freaking hilarious:

And The Planet Keeps Going Around The Sun

I've got my swamp cooler up and running now -- or, more accurately, I've paid someone else to get my swamp cooler up and running so I don't have to go climbing around on the roof -- so I am all ready for summer! Which is effectively here by May, that being about when it starts getting uncomfortably hot during the day. Usually I put off getting the cooler going until about two days past the point where I don't feel like I reasonably can do without it anymore, but given my exciting drug-induced hot flashes, which are aggravated by being in a warm room, I figured having it all ready to go when needed would be a kind thing to do for my poor old self.

I do wish spring lasted longer here, though. And fall, too, for that matter. They're beautiful, but, alas, they are fleeting.

I Was Warned Not To Get To Attached To Any Of The Characters.

I've now finished watching season one of Game of Thrones. And, well. That... certainly lived up to its reputation.

Blasts From The Bookish Past

Apparently when I run out of things to talk about here, my go-to strategy is to post random book-related links. So, here, have some vintage bookstore photos. Looking at these really makes me want to hop into a time machine and go book-shopping.

Hey, Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Come Up With That Pun.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!

And, as they say on Skaro, "Eggs-terminate!"

Today's Adventures In Coffee-making

Today's adventures in coffee-making: I set up the machine last night to brew the coffee automatically this morning. Sily me, though, I assumed the timer was still set the same as the last time I used it. Since, you know, I live alone and the cats haven't yet mastered the art of coffee-making. But apparently, sometime in the last three days, the timer clock reset itself. So Mr. Coffee obediently brewed me up a nice, hot, fresh pot of coffee... at midnight. Needless to say, it was rather cold by the time I got up.

Sigh. It's almost enough to make you want to kick the habit.

Naaaah.

I Still Don't Wanna Go Back To Work, Though.

Wow, this having three days in a row off without having to spend any of those days sleeping or any nights struggling to stay awake is nice. I had a very long to-do list for my time off this week, and I think I've managed to either finish or make satisfactory progress on pretty much all of it, with a reasonable amount of time left over for loafing. Now I just need to make time to answer all my neglected e-mail...

Dammed Coffee

Here's a tip: when making coffee, do not leave the carafe sitting on the counter, forgetting to actually put it in the machine, press the "on" button, and walk away. Even that feature that shuts off the flow so you can sneak a cup before it's finished will not hold back an entire pot's worth indefinitely. The result... is not pretty.

Between that and the sinus headache I woke up with this morning, I am not feeling optimistic about the direction this day is going.

I Hear Winter Is Coming.

So, long after the rest of the world, I have finally started watching Game of Thrones. It's always looked like something I'd probably like, so I really should have gotten to it sooner, but I was thwarted by my own indecisiveness. Every time I'd find myself thinking I should watch the TV series, I'd immediately think of good reasons why I should read the books first, and every time I'd consider reading the books, I'd immediately come up with good reasons why I should watch the TV series first. This conundrum apparently being impossible to resolve, I just kept never doing either one.

But a friend of mine recently announced he was planning on starting up a Game of Thrones-based RPG and asked me if I wanted to play. Sadly, between my highly inconvenient work schedule and the fact that it'll be starting up about the time I'm having my surgery, whether I want to or not may prove to be academic. But, regardless, that served as the impetus to finally break my mental logjam on the issue, and I decided to just Netflix the damned thing.

I've only watched the first episode, but so far, it seems like it's going to be pretty decent. There's lots of complicated and potentially interesting stuff going on, some nice visuals, and what looks to be some thoughtful worldbuilding. And the end of the first ep made me sit up and go, "Yikes!", which is always promising. If I'd known there was going to be quite that much in the way of viscera, I might not have watched it while I was eating lunch, but that's not exactly a problem.

My main reaction, though, is, "How am I ever going to keep all these characters and their relationships straight?!" Seriously. I was desperately trying to draw up family tree diagrams in my head while I was watching, but I fear that by the time I watch episode 2, I'll have forgotten it all and be completely lost again.

Zzzzzz

Today has been sort of alternately boring and interesting. But now I am tired. So, relevant to my tiredness, have a video with some tips about how to sleep better, a subject that is always near and dear to a shiftworkers' heart:



Tip #2 startled me, rather. I thought I'd invented that one all by myself, back when I was a kid. Although at some point since then, it seems to have stopped working for me.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho

Here I am in the middle -- well, mercifully, slightly past the middle -- of what is essentially a 56-hour work week. The one before that was 64 hours. (That's without overtime, of course, since these long stints inevitably straddle two different weeks for payment purposes. I'm not even counting the meeting on my day off that I did get overtime for.) Sigh. I miss the good old days when we had an extra person, and one person (or even two people!) needing to take off or switch their shifts didn't inevitably screw over someone else. In this case, I confess, I kind of did it to myself, by being far too nice when people ask me if I can swap schedules. But it's not like this sort of thing is entirely unusual.

I'm just getting tired of sitting in that chair. Well, mostly I'm just tired, period. These early mornings don't so much agree with me. I've got more of those ahead of me, too, but the good news is that come Wednesday I have three days off, without having to spend any of it adjusting my sleep schedule around. Luxury!

I Call It The Fing-Longer

I just bought one of these, to save myself unnecessary bending and stretching after my surgery:




It came in the mail yesterday, and now I'm having trouble resisting the urge to just walk around the house randomly picking things up.

Everything I Know, I Learned From Watching Sesame Street?

Another weekend of 12-hour shifts. Sigh. In the absence of anything more interesting going on for me to talk about, I'll offer this up as your random link for today, since the Muppets seem to keep coming up in my conversations lately: Millennials just don’t get it! How the Muppets created Generation X. Does this article overstate the influence of the Muppets? Probably. I suspect a world in which Jim Henson had never lived would not be too fundamentally different from this one. But it would be a much, much poorer world, regardless.

Some Sad News

Some sad news: I heard yesterday that my uncle -- my dad's brother -- had passed away. I can't say that we were close; I hadn't even seen him since I was a kid. But it's a terribly melancholy thing to hear about anyway, and my heart goes out to my dad.

It's Like A Really Unexciting Form Of Time Travel!

I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but a while back, I got a three-month shot of a drug intended to help shrink my fibroid, in the hopes that they'll be able to do a less invasive form of surgery than would otherwise be possible. Basically, said drug works by depressing your hormone levels and putting you temporarily into menopause, so I'm currently getting a little foretaste of what life will be like in a decade or so when I'm going through this for real.

I've always had a completely unfounded belief that while many other women might have a hard time with the ol' Change of Life, it would surely not affect me that way. I'm glad to note that this utterly irrational assumption seems to be proving true. I have been experiencing the infamous hot flashes, but they're mild, transitory, and mostly ignorable. They are happening kind of a lot, though, making them slightly slightly more annoying than they otherwise might be. So I am definitely looking forward to having my uterus gone and my ovaries back . (Or, rather, back at their hormone-producing job.)

In the meantime, any time I'm being grumpy or moody, I think having my hormones artificially messed with going to be my excuse. When it's not the usual excuse of sleep deprivation, of course.

It's A Full Life, If A Trifle Banal.

This blogging-every-day thing is getting to be a little challenging. Because it's not like I do that much that's interesting.

Well, my itinerary for today includes a no doubt very boring meeting at work. On my day off. Sigh. But I am getting overtime for it, and I can really use the cash, so I guess I can't complain. Much.

Then tonight is cheesy British sci-fi night, an irregular and informal event in which I get together with a couple of friends and... well, you can probably figure out the rest. Having finished a run-through of Blake's 7, we're now watching The Tomorrow People (the original version), which I am honestly enjoying a lot more than I expected to. It may not exactly be a crowning achievement of television, but it can be a lot of fun to watch, in its own very 70s kind of way. Although, man, when it's bad... it's bad.

In other news, yesterday's dentist appointment went well. I bought myself some ice cream to celebrate not having any cavities.

And Now It's Time For This Again!

Current clothes: Rush concert t-shirt. Gray sweats. Black ankle socks. Brown leather shoes.

Current mood: Pretty good, all things considered. It's my day off, and I got enough sleep, so I'm rested and fairly relaxed.

Current music: While I was outside hanging up laundry just a few minutes ago, my iPod randomly served up a Muse song and a vaguely techno-y remix of this. Also, a comedy sketch about a version of Survivor featuring cartoon characters.

Current annoyance: Why is my robot body still not ready?! Among other physical complaints, I have to go to the dentist today, and I don't want to.

Current thing: Repeatedly playing the Doctor Who version of 2048 and obsessively speculating about who might or might not turn out to be related to whom on Once Upon a Time now.

Current desktop picture: It's the same rather silly but nevertheless kind of cool-looking bookshelf wallpaper as it's been for the last couple of months. It's probably time to change it now, though. Maybe to something else book-themed.

Current book: Distrust That Particular Flavor by William Gibson.

Current song in head: I've had Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" in and out of my head for days.

Current refreshment: Just finished a Diet Pepsi.

Current DVD in player: Disc 2 of season 1 of Archer.

Current worry: That everything possible will go wrong, somehow. Forever.

Current thought: Wow, this an even geekier "currently" response than usual.

Such Is The Life Of A Shiftworker.

Ugh. Today is that regular occurrence I have mentally dubbed "Transition Day." Meaning that I worked a night shift last night, but I have to be Day Person in a couple of days, so I need to shift my sleep schedule completely around. There are various different ways to deal with this sort of thing, and all of them kind of suck. What I do these days is to get off work at 8 AM and go to bed as usual, but only sleep for four or five hours: enough to function, but not nearly enough to be satisfying. Then instead of fighting the consequent state of sleep deprivation, I sort of nurse it, giving myself a very low-energy, lying-around-on-the-sofa kind of day that, hopefully, will end with a hot bath and a return to bed before midnight. It works surprisingly well, but it's never exactly fun, since it always makes for a short day that feels pretty much entirely wasted.

Still More Books, Yo!

Here I sit in my brief period of downtime between two 12-hour shifts, just trying to suck down enough coffee to stay awake through the night. So, not a lot to say today and not a lot of time to say it, but keeping up with the little book-related theme I seem to have going here, I thought I'd link to what has just become my new favorite YouTube channel, Thug Notes. Each video deals with a different classic book, giving a summary of the plot and some thematic analysis. All of which is delivered in gangsta speak. What really gets me is that this guy frankly does a better of teaching these books in five minutes than most of my English teachers ever managed. Here's a couple of samples:





It makes me weirdly happy to live in a world where this exists. (Just remember kids, there's no substitute for actually reading the book!)

Mmmm, More Books!

I just got back from the local Friends of the Library book sale. I probably wouldn't end up buying very much, I told myself. After all, I have to work tonight, so I'd need to sleep in, meaning I'd get there late and the good stuff would probably all be gone.

Well. I did not sleep as late as I should have. The good stuff was definitely not all gone. And I am now experiencing that peculiar mix of thrill and shame that only comes after a good book-buying binge. Well, honestly, right now it's mostly still thrill. I got books! The shame will doubtless come, however, when I count them all and take note of what it does to my TBR total.

Mmmm, Books.

OK, it is now after midnight, so I think I can count this as day two of what I have begun mentally referring to as Blogs-A-Lot April, because I have never been any good with pithy names.

But today, instead of random thoughts and boring life details, I offer you bookshelf porn.

(What does it say about me that I actually looked at some of these pictures and went, "Nope, that's just not enough bookshelf space?")

Blog, Feet, Music

I really have been shamelessly neglecting this blog of late, and, as always seems to be the case with such things, the longer I neglect it, the harder it is to motivate myself to actually post something. So I'm going to try a little experiment here: for the rest of April, I'm going to try to post at least something every day. Most likely it'll be a bunch of weird, random thoughts and boring details about my life -- you have been warned! -- but at least it'll be something, and it'll get me back into the habit.

So, today's weird random thought/boring life detail starts with my feet. I have flat feet, and for a long time, I suffered from some really awful, and increasingly continuous, bouts of plantar fasciitis. (Aka stabbing foot pain.) I finally went to see a podiatrist about it a couple of years ago, and he set me up with some custom-molded orthotic shoe inserts that helped immensely. Since then, I've had occasional very brief recurrances, but nothing remotely like what I was suffering before.

Except now it seems to be coming back, at least in my left foot. So far, it's intermittent, and mild enough that it's more annoying than debilitating, but the fact that it keeps coming back is worrying. I'm not sure if my foot's changed somehow -- it actually feels like that might be true -- or if it's due to the insert having become worn and cracked and maybe not holding my foot rigid enough anymore, or what. I'm hoping I don't have to go back to the podiatrist, not least because I'm never sure if my insurance will cover this stuff. It did last time, despite my policy pretty much explicitly saying it wouldn't, but who knows if I'll get that lucky twice? I have a slightly superstitious fear of calling the insurance company and checking in advance, for fear that'll make them say no.

For the moment, I'm sort of hoping it's just a weird, random flare-up and will go away on its own. Being off my feet for a while after my surgery next month might help. I also have some stretching exercises that help, but the problem with those is forcing myself to do them. My brain apparently thinks that six minutes of leaning against a wall and stretching while watching the clock to time how long to hold position is the most unbelievably, tortuously boring thing imaginable. Like a kid wheedling for five more minutes before bedtime, some part of my mind keeps repeatedly whining at me to put off doing it just a little longer, pleeeeeese!, often with the result that I never get around to doing it at all.

But I really need to make with the self-discipline and just get the damned things done. Listening to music while I'm doing it helps with the boredom factor a bit, fortunately. Especially when I put my iPod on random shuffle and it comes up with weird, weird things. This morning while I was doing the stretches, it played me a medley of Queen songs in Japanese. Which is kind of weird by itself, but what makes it even more so is that I had no idea I had a medley of Queen songs in Japanese on my iPod. I am, in fact, 99% sure I'd never even heard that before. I mean, I think I would have remembered that.

Well, maybe being curious enough about what it'll come up for me next is enough to motivate me to keep on doing the exercises. I can only hope.

Yaaaaay! *flaily Kermit arms*

Just got back from seeing the new Muppets movie. About ten seconds in, I think, and I was already grinning all over my face. God, I love the Muppets. As far as I am concerned, they are pretty much just pure, distilled joy.

But The Opening Credits Are Exciting!

Today's random link, just because it amuses me: The 7 Most Annoying People To Watch TV With. Alas, I fear I may well qualify as "the overreactor." Let's just say I'm glad there wasn't anybody in the room with me for the last couple of shows I watched. Although I was honestly a little worried that I was making enough noise during the most recent episode of The Walking Dead to attract the attention of the neighbors.

Also... Note to self: I probably should not watch that show before bed. Two zombie apocalypse dreams in two months is really a bit much.

Yes, When I Decide I'm Going To Try To Post More, You Get Complaints About The Weather

It's mostly been sunny and lovely here for weeks. So why, on the one day I had set aside to do yardwork and laundry (which I have to dry on the clothesline), and which also happens to be the day after I finally got around to washing the car, has it suddenly decided to rain? *shakes fist at the heavens*

(Mind you, a friend of mine in New Zealand just told me they're getting hit by a cyclone. So probably I shouldn't complain about a few raindrops, which we could undoubtedly use, anyway. But apparently that isn't going to stop me.)

And I'm Still Here!

I have been (gently and kindly) admonished for my lack of blog-updating lately. It's nice to be missed! But, honestly, this is one of those weird periods my in life when I find that I have basically nothing to say. Well, I could talk more about my medical issues, complete with a rambling anecdote involving a week-and-a-half-long comedy of errors between my doctor's office and the insurance company in an attempt to get approval on some fantastically expensive drugs. But frankly, I don't feel like going into it all at length, and everything is okay on that front for the moment, anyway. (Not that I won't promise you won't have to hear me bitching more about the state of my poor old meat-body later. I think that's probably inevitable at some point. I mean, never mind surgery, it happens every time I come down with a cold.)

But other than that... I kinda got nothin'. My most exciting plan for today is to get a haircut. The same haircut I've been getting for the last twenty years, because I'm dull like that.

How about you guys? Anything new and interesting? Anything you're just dying to hear me talk about? Get any exciting new haircuts? Anything?

Currently, I Am Still Here. Really.

I appear to be in some sort of blogging slump lately. But, hey, there's always this!

Current clothes: Gray sweatshirt from the VLA with a glow-in-the-dark picture of one of the antennas. Blue jeans. Brown boots. Gray science-themed socks with pictures of radiation symbols and Bohr atoms and various pieces of labware on them.

Current mood: Not too bad. At least I got enough sleep today.

Current music: Nothing much. I was listening to some random-shuffle stuff while doing a bit of housework the other day, but I don't now remember what any of it was.

Current annoyance: Not being fantastically wealthy. Or even modestly wealthy. That would be perfectly fine.

Current thing: Playing Organ Trail: The Director's Cut. Which is more fun than you'd expect it to be, somehow. (And, no, the spelling is not a typo.)

Current desktop picture: Still the same books as last month.

Current book: The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken. Which I suspect may be the kind of kids' book I'd have liked a lot better if I'd read it when I was still a kid. But I'm only a very little ways into it, so we'll see.

Current song in head: All is quiet in the ol' brain right now. Mercifully enough, considering some of the stuff that's been stuck in there lately.

Current refreshment: I just finished a light dinner of fruit, bread, and tea. Also a Toblerone.

Current DVD in player: Nothing at the moment, since Netflix keeps not sending me Sherlock. While I'm waiting, I've been streaming Todd and the Book of Pure Evil. Which is a show that is either really stupid or actually kind of brilliant. Either way, it's surprisingly entertaining.

Current worry: I should know better than to google medical stuff. I need to keep reminding myself that the people who experience horrible problems with a drug or procedure or condition are vastly, disproportionately likely to be the ones who go on the internet and talk about it.

Current thought: Um... No matter where you go, there you are?

The State Of Me

Various things:

I still have a cold. The congestion is rather less today, which is nice, because I enjoy breathing. But I still feel tired and ooky. It doesn't help that I keep not getting nearly enough sleep lately for various annoying reasons. Of course, if the cold is (maybe? hopefully?) slacking off, the pollen count is rising, so if my nose is less stuffy, it's also more itchy. Because I really can't win.

So, it looks like I am going to be having the hysterectomy. In May, if all goes well. I am still pretty nervous about it, but... But I do want this troublesome, useless-to-me organ to go away. And I find that when I think about the idea of never having another period again, I am filled with a deep and inexpressible joy. (I could talk more about my medical issues, but that would probably mostly involve me ranting a lot about insurance-related stuff, and that's a tedious subject, even to me.)

I have a new wall heater! One which hopefully will not make any attempts to gas me. So, that's one major thing taken care of, anyway. Now if only everything else expensive can keep from breaking for a while while I desperately attempt to make progress on paying off the medical bills.

And that's the state of me at the moment, more or less. I'm unwell and close to broke, but at least I'm warm and, if I'm very lucky, I might already own a lifetime supply of tampons.

*sneezes pitifully*

Dammit, I have a cold. Again. And no matter how much tea I drink, it never, ever manages to be enough.

Awwwww

I've been pretty terrible about updating this blog regularly lately and do not, at the moment, have anything I particularly want to say. So instead I offer you: children reading to cats.

Wait, We're How Far Into February Now?

Well. Time for this again, I guess!

Current clothes: Blue t-shirt with a diagram of a caffeine molecule on it. Gray sweats. White socks. Brown boots.

Current mood: Good. It's the middle of my weekend, I'm relaxed, I've been getting enough sleep, and I'm getting useful stuff done around the house.

Current music: Nothing much. At the moment, my listening-to-stuff time is devoted to working on trying to catch up on all those podcasts I'm behind on again.

Current annoyance: My living room wall heater started smelling faintly like gas again, so I had to shut it down. I'm just going to leave it off until I can get a replacement in. Fortunately, the weather at the moment is absolutely gorgeous. If anything, I think it feels a little too warm in here right now.

Current thing: Doing housework and playing Sentry Knight.

Current desktop picture: Books!

Current book: Outlaw Tales of New Mexico by Barbara Marriott. Which is a bit meh. But, hey, it's short.

Current song in head: Various things have been flitting in and out of the ol' brain over the last few days, including many repeat performances of Leonard Cohen's "If It Be Your Will," because the last book I was reading kept indirectly reminding me of it. But things seem to have quieted down now. Which is nice.

Current refreshment: Nothing. But I'm kind of thirsty.

Current DVD in player: Disc 3 of season 7 of Burn Notice. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this final season, but I do know that I'm going to miss it when I'm done.

Current worry: Money. Again. It's all about money.

Current thought: Oh, look, there's Leonard Cohen stuck in my head again. Guess I spoke too soon.

What's With This Whole "Need For Warmth And Shelter" Thing, Anyway?

Despite my last post, it is definitely not spring yet. We actually got snow last night. It's mostly gone already, though, which I understand puts us well ahead of much of the rest of the country.

But it is, indeed, still winter. Which means I still need to heat my house. Which turns out to be slightly problematic, because the ancient wall furnace that functions as my primary heat source apparently decided it would be a fun and nifty thing to start pumping gas into my living room. Fortunately, I managed not to blow up or asphyxiate or anything, and the nice young man from the plumbing and heating company came and adjusted it so that it is not at the moment actively trying to kill me. But he thinks the problem is that the gas valve is starting to wear out. And given that they probably no longer make parts for vintage 1960s "Custom Aire" wall heaters, the whole thing is probably going to need to be replaced.

Ah, well. I think I'm starting to get used to the idea that I will just never be able to keep any money in the bank ever again. Really.

And Before You Know It, It Will Be Too Hot.

Today is Groundhog Day, right? I have no idea what the rodent might or might not have "predicted," but I don't think I need to. I can tell the year is starting to turn, because robins have started appearing, presumably on their way north. Hang on, frozen parts of the US! Spring is coming!

Hey There, Have Some Random Links!

It's been a while since I've done a random links post. Let's see what I've got...

How the Media Will Report the Apocalypse: Pretty darned funny stuff. Also, probably disturbingly close to the truth.

39 Test Answers That Are 100% Wrong But Totally Genius At The Same Time: OK, this sort of list has been around since before there was an internet. But some of these are also pretty darned funny.

The Best Astronomy and Space Photos of 2013: Phil Plait's usual year-end round-up of amazing space pictures. The universe, it is a very beautiful place.

lol my thesis: People sum up their theses in succinct and entertaining ways. This may be my new favorite time-wasting site on the internet.

For Some Reason, This Sort Of Thing Only Happens When I'm On Day Shifts.

Last night I woke up at 3:30 after a nightmare in which my mother was attacked by zombies, and I found myself facing the prospect of a post-apocalyptic future with no coffee. Finally, I managed to get back to sleep, only fall into another dream in which I was back in high school and trying desperately to finish writing an essay right before class on the day it was due.

What the hell, brain? What did I do to you?

First Of The Year Currenties!

Current clothes: Fuzzy blue pajama pants with moons and stars on them. My (now somewhat tattered) "Oops, I bought another pile of books!" sleep shirt. Red plaid robe. Fuzzy brown slippers. Perfect blogging attire!

Current mood: Okay, but not fully awake yet. I'm still working on my morning coffee. Well, "morning" coffee. I'm aware that it's 5 PM, but this is my life.

Current music: Nothing in particular. I think the last album I listened to was Still Got Legs by Chameleon Circuit. Because I am a giant nerd. But you knew that.

Current annoyance: I've been working ridiculous amounts of night shifts lately. This is not a great time of year for that. I know I often complain about the giant nuclear skyball as if it were my enemy, but the truth is, when I barely see it for two weeks, I miss it a lot. Maybe we're actually frenemies.

Current thing: Working endless amounts of night shifts.

Current desktop picture: Still the wreath-bedecked TARDIS. I should change that. It's well past being seasonal now.

Current book: The Birthday Party: A Memoir of Survival by Stanley Alpert. The author was kidnapped and held for more than 24 hours by some robbers looking to get money out of his bank accounts. On his birthday.

Current song in head: Last night Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" would not stop playing in my brain. Fortunately, it seems a bit quieter in there now.

Current refreshment: Coffee. Ahhhhhh, coffee!

Current DVD in player: I just finished disc 2 of season 2 of Millennium. And... Eh. I've been told I should keep watching it through the end of season 2 (although no further), that it gets pretty great in here somewhere. But so far, I'm not seeing it. Lance Henriksen is always interesting to watch, and the show is stylishly done in a way that makes it easier to watch than, frankly, it should be. But... But it's mostly just such a humorless, pretentious mishmash of cryptic nonsense, with a worldview I take exception to and no sense that it has any idea where it's actually planning to go. It's like all of the things that annoyed me about The X-Files, minus all the things I really liked about The X-Files. But I am continuing to give it a chance to redeem itself. For some reason.

Current worry: I am very likely going to end up having a hysterectomy, and, while, frankly, getting this damned organ out of me and never having to deal with its bullshit again is a happy thought, the idea of dealing with the recovery period and the state of near-helplessness that involves is worrying the crap out of me. If I'm not allowed to lift anything over ten pounds for six to eight weeks, what the hell do I do if one of my cats gets sick? I'll be physically incapable of taking them to the vet. And, hell, I can barely wrestle them into their carriers when I need to. Forget someone they don't know and trust as well doing it. This possibility is really upsetting to me. I don't ever want to put myself in a position where I can't properly take care of myself and my animals and fulfill my responsibilities, you know?

Current thought: Forget it. I have not had enough coffee yet to go tackling my worries now.

2013: The Year in Books

Happy New Year!

It's become kind of a tradition at this point for me to put up a post about the reading I've done over the past year. And, hey, far be it from me to break with tradition!

You can find the complete list of my 2013 reading here, or, if you prefer a more visual representation, here. I read a total of 144 books this year. That's one fewer than in 2012, but, hey, not too shabby. And I acquired... Well, let's just say "some." Or, OK, "a lot." I don't so much want to look at the numbers on that.

Here's my also-traditional "best books of the year" list. As usual these, like the rest of my reading, are rather varied:

Fiction
The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
Zone One by Colson Whitehead
The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland and Led the Revels There by Catherynne M. Valente
The October Country by Ray Bradbury
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Un Lun Dun by China Mieville
The Plague of Doves by Louise Erdrich
Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon
Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier

Non-fiction
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Allison Bechdel
The Making of the Fittest: DNA and the Ultimate Forensic Record of Evolution by Sean B. Carroll
Economix: How Our Economy Works (and Doesn't Work) in Words and Pictures by Michael Godwin
The Hot Zone by Richard Preston
I'm Your Man: The Life of Leonard Cohen by Sylvie Simmons
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things by Randy O. Frost & Gail Steketee
Einstein: His Life and Universe by Walter Isaacson

Humor
Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened by Allie Brosh
Science: Ruining Everything Since 1543 by Zach Weinersmith

Judging by that list, I'd say it was a pretty good year in books! Now to see how much of the TBR Pile I can manage to get through in 2014...

Farewell, 2013

Well, here we are. The last day of the year. Alas, there will be no revelry for me tonight, as I have to be at work at 11:45 PM. Sigh. I'm not much of a New Year's Eve party person, I must say, but I would still much rather be at home watching the ball drop and raising a glass to the new year. Ah, the things I do for science. Well, I do have access to incredibly precise clocks at work, so maybe that will be fun? Even if they do all run on Universal, rather than local time.

Anyway. This would seem to be the time to look back on the rapidly ending year. 2013 was certainly interesting for me, probably mostly in the Chinese curse sense. Significant but less-than-fun events included: The government shutdown. Losing my elderly cat Happiness, as well as Mickey and Newt's feral mother (who really does appear to be gone for good). Dealing with medical issues that, while not terribly serious as such things go, are pretty annoying. And the excitement of realizing that holy crap, water is flooding into my bedroom!

On a much more cheerful note, this was also what I've been thinking of as the Year of Space Tourism, in which I paid a couple of visits to relatives and was able to thoroughly indulge my inner space geek in the process, with visits to Kennedy Space Center and the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, not to mention the chance to get close to a real, live (OK, decommissioned) space shuttle.

And almost all of these things contributed to the other main theme of the year: me getting to watch my savings dwindle and my credit card debt rise. But, you know, I'm still doing OK. I'm still here, still being me, still enjoying the things I enjoy, with a job and a roof over my head, and family who care about me. And 4,000 books. I figure everybody in the world should be at least this lucky.

I hope the new year sees all of you alive and well and doing things that make you happy, too. I'll catch you in 2014!

There Be Dragons

I finally got the chance to go see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug tonight. And I very definitely enjoyed it. It's got some really exciting parts and some parts that are a bit silly but a lot of fun; the whole thing looks incredible, as usual; and Smaug is sixteen different kinds of awesome. Unlike the first movie, though, this one did feel as long as it actually was. I must say, I am increasingly questioning the necessity of extending this thing out into three movies (and not just because this one ends suddenly at the most annoying possible moment, although that probably does have something to do with it). All the added material is interesting, and I have no fundamental problem with any of it. Heck, when it's all finished, people with lots of time to spare are going to be able to watch all six movies back-to-back and get some kind of coherent, unified story out of it, which is probably pretty cool. But I'm not entirely sure that's worth the all the added length.

The Subjects Of My Christmas Presents And Doctor Who Are Related, Because My Mother Got Me "The Mind of Evil" On DVD.

Merry Christmas! And happy holidays in general, whatever holiday or holidays you may celebrate this time of the year! And a great big thank you to the various members of my family, all of whom sent me lovely and useful presents.

As I write this, I'm about 20 minutes from the start of the Doctor Who special, and I am experiencing a veritable roller coaster of emotions. I can't wait to meet the new guy! But I don't want Matt Smith to gooooo! But a new Doctor is so exciting! And I'm expecting to like this one! But... But somehow, despite decades of experience, I am finding it impossible to imagine not having Matt Smith anymore. I didn't feel this way last time, you know. I liked Tennant's Doctor, but by the time he regenerated, I felt, well, entirely ready for him to go. But I think Smith could continue doing this for the next decade, and I still wouldn't be ready to say goodbye to him. Such are the conflicts of the Whovian mind.

Christmas is Coming!

My work schedule over Christmas and New Year's this year pretty much sucks, possibly to make up for me being able to take so much time off over Thanksgiving. So, no grand holiday plans for me this year, but I am fully prepared to enjoy myself in my own, quiet way. Tonight I'm working night shift, so I'll be sleeping until well into the afternoon on Christmas Eve, but in the evening I'm going to make myself a nice holiday dinner, complete with pie, and maybe watch A Muppet Christmas Carol while I eat it. (Blackadder's Christmas Carol is actually my traditional holiday viewing, but I think I might have finally gotten to the point where I've seen that once too often.) Then at midnight, when it's technically Christmas, I'm going to open all my presents, and when I'm done appreciating those, I think the rest of the night is going to involve candy canes and hot cocoa and a vanilla-scented candle, and curling up cozily with a book. Then on Christmas, there will be Doctor Who, and I should probably call my relatives. Then, as soon as it's technically no longer Christmas Day, I have to be back at work again, but I should be well topped up with the introvert's version of holiday cheer by that point and ready to be a functional human being again.

In the meantime, here is a sort of a video card for you all:

A Few Random Links

It's been way too long since I've done this. You would think I'd have more links. Well, whatever. Have these!

“Without the imaginary, we can’t function” – In conversation with Neil Gaiman: A lovely little interview with Gaiman, whose The Ocean at the End of the Lane is definitely one of the best books I've read this year.

'Gravity' Spinoff: If you've seen the movie Gravity, you'll remember a scene where Sandra Bullock's character talks to someone back on Earth whose language she doesn't speak. This is the other half of that conversation.

How Many People Are There In Space Right Now": A wonderfully simple website that tells you how many people there are in space right now. If you scroll down, it will also tell you their names and how long they've been there.

Feral Kitty MIA

I have not seen my resident feral cat -- Mickey and Newt's mother -- since just before Thanksgiving. I've been putting food out regularly, anyway, and it does eventually disappear, but I've only seen birds eating it. It's been terribly cold lately, and I'd like to think she's found somewhere else to shelter from the weather, but sadly I suspect she has likely succumbed to it instead. Especially as the last couple of times I saw her, I didn't think she was looking particularly well, as if she barely had the energy to get up and run away when I came too close to her, the way she usually does. Or did. I'm not sure how long I should keep putting food out until I give up, but I fear it may be getting to about that point.

It seems this has not been a very good year for cats.

Isn't That Robot Body Ready Yet?

Well, the good news is, I survived the anesthesia and everything, and, with the exception of some rather horrific side effects from the medication they made me take the night before -- which I won't get into, but suffice it to say that I am never, ever taking that particular drug again -- the experience wasn't too awful. Not pleasant, by any remote stretch of the imagination, but not too awful. The nurses were super-nice, which, in that sort of context, even generally misanthropic me finds helpful.

The bad news is, apparently my stupid uterus is so full of growths that the doctor thinks I am going to need a hysterectomy, because there's not much short of that they can do with it.

Stupid useless troublemaking organ. I think it's annoyed because the kidneys and the liver get to do stuff, while it just sits there not having babies month after month, and it's decided it wants some attention.

Also, I'm Told It's Thicker Than Water.

One pleasant side effect of having to deal with medical crap is that I've finally found out my blood type, a piece of personal information I've been curious about ever since I took high school biology, tried to determine it genetically based on my family's types, and discovered that I had an exactly equal chance of being any of the four positive blood types. Turns out I'm B+. I'm trying to take that as a sort of friendly, blood-borne piece of advice: "Be positive!" (Based on aforementioned high school genetic analysis, that also means my genotype must be BO. But I'm not going to translate anything out of that.)

Last-Of-The-Year Currentlies

Current clothes: Blue jeans. Blue sweatshirt with a map of Alaska on it. White socks. Black belt.

Current mood: Kinda lethargic.

Current music: I haven't been listening to any music lately. Instead, I've been inhaling episodes of Brian Cox and Robin Ince's The Infinite Monkey Cage podcast as rapidly as possible. And wondering why on Earth I didn't know about the existence of this thing before.

Current annoyance: There are many, but the biggest one is that I seem to have slept on something wrong a few days ago, and ever since the muscles of my neck and shoulders have been one massive knot of pain. I can get it to loosen up some during the day, but every time I sleep, or even lie in one place long enough, everything stiffens up again. (Insert standard rant about wanting to know when I'll finally get to upload myself to my robot body here.)

Current thing: I was playing a lot of Kingdom Rush Frontiers, but I tend to kind of hunch forward intently when I'm playing that, and it just makes the pain in my neck worse, so I've mostly stopped for the moment.

Current desktop picture: I just switched to the picture of the TARDIS with a wreath on the door that I usually use this time of year. Maybe it'll help put me into the holiday spirit. Two and a half weeks 'til Christmas, and I'm really still not feeling it yet.

Current book: Fool on the Hill by Matt Ruff, an entertainingly offbeat fantasy novel.

Current song in head: I have had "The Things We Do for Love" by 10cc in my head for days now. I have no idea why. Heck, I didn't even know who sings that. I had to look it up just now.

Current refreshment: Nothing. But I need food.

Current DVD in player: Most recently, World War Z. Which... meh. It did have some decent moments, and it kept my interest enough that I didn't have to fight the impulse to wander off and check my e-mail every ten minutes (which seems to happen a lot with me and movies these days). But it didn't impress me. The plot was about a thousand shades of dumb, Brad Pitt was weirdly bland, and the zombies did not scare me.

Current worry: My rescheduled ladybits surgery is coming up on Tuesday. It really shouldn't be much of a big deal -- hell, I'd say it barely counts as surgery, since they're not even making any new incisions in my body -- but I am a tiny bit nervous, anyway. I'll be glad to have it over with.

Current thought: According to LibraryThing, I now own exactly 4,000 books. I feel as if I should hold some kind of party for Book #4000.

A Little Holiday Cheer From Captain Picard

Time Lords And Turkey

I hope all the Americans out there had a lovely Thanksgiving! (Well, I hope all the Canadians did, too, but that sentiment is even more belated for them.) I was actually able to take several days off over the holiday, which was nice, since my ol' buddy "Captain Chlorophyll" was back in NM again, and we were finally able to do the Doctor Who marathon we'd been talking about forever. Because he hadn't seen any of the Matt Smith episodes, and that situation simply could not be allowed to stand. Although, sadly, we did not quite manage to get him as far as the Pandorica opening, mostly because I insisted on showing him Tom Baker's classic "The Seeds of Doom" first. (Because, dude! It's Captain Chlorophyll!) But that's OK. I'm sure there will be a next time.

Meanwhile, speaking of time, here it is the beginning of December already. I'm not sure exactly how that happened. And yet, I am already feeling tired of winter. One weekend of snow is entirely enough for me. Ah, well. In the spirit of the recent holiday, I am attempting to focus on the things I am grateful for (food! shelter! books!) rather than complaining. If only complaining were a little less easy.

Happy Who Day!

Happy 50th Anniversary, Doctor Who! Time to party like a Time Lord!



(Don't ask me who created that image. I got it from someone who got it from... somewhere.)

I'd be really tickled and thrilled by the fact that the 50th anniversary special is being broadcast on BBC America simultaneously with its premiere in the UK, except that I'm on night shift tonight and will probably still be asleep when it starts. Oh, well, that's what DVRs are for. I'm just gonna think of it as, you know, not being bound by typical temporal parameters!

The Sorry State Of Me

Well, while I'm still coughing off and on, my lungs do seem to be improving. At least, I can take a deep breath without feeling that weird, creepy sensation of air being forced with straining, wheezy reluctance into nearly closed-off bronchial tubes.

On the other hand, horrible, horrible things are now happening inside my sinuses.

I hate the human body. I hate everything about it.

Well, This Is All Very Epic!

OK, you might not want to watch these if you haven't seen the end of the last season yet. But with that out of the way... Here's a trailer for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary episode:



And a mini-episode prequel, which fills in a pretty major gap in the Doctor Who canon:



I was certainly not expecting that!

Wheeze, Gurgle... Click?!

I am generally feeling rather better now, but, holy crap, my lungs are making noises that should just never, ever come out of any part of a human body.

Wally And Me

Well, the cold seems to be getting somewhat better, except for the chest congestion and coughing, which, as usual, were the last things to develop and will probably be the last things to go. I'm just really, really hoping this isn't one of the times when that'll linger for weeks and weeks, because if I have to put off this surgery again, I am going to cry.

I am, by the way, still reading Failure Is Not an Option and have just been told all about how when Wally Schirra had a head cold in space, he got really, really grumpy. Somehow, that makes me feel slightly better about all the whining I've been doing. Although perhaps less so when I think about about the fact that that dude managed to fly an entire Apollo mission with a cold, and I couldn't even make the drive up to Albuquerque. Oh, well. I never claimed to have the right stuff, anyway.

Day Four

Yup, I still have the nasty cold. I am daring to think it might actually be improving slightly now, but that may well just be because I've filled myself full of decongestants and cough syrup. In any case, a trip up to Albuquerque today was definitely a no-go. No library sale for me. Sigh. I'm just going to sit in my living room and contemplate all the books I already have, instead.

Time For This Again

Current clothes: Nothing but a towel at the moment. I just got out of the shower. Although, unlike yesterday when I spent all day in my pajamas, I am going to have to go put some clothes on today. I have to run out to the pharmacy and stuff.

Current mood: Mildly miserable, as my minor cold has gone and turned into a major cold. On the upside, I think I feel a little less low-energy today than I did yesterday. On the downside, I may be developing a cough.

Current music: More random-shuffle stuff on the iPod. I think the last thing was something by Jonathan Coulton.

Current annoyance: ALL VIRUSES MUST DIE!

Current thing: Repeated, unwilling viewings of "Betty Can't Catch A Break Theater."

Current desktop picture: Still the secret Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal wallpaper. I should change it sometime.

Current book: Failure Is Not an Option: Mission Control From Mercury to Apollo 13 and Beyond by Gene Kranz, whom you might remember as the guy played by Ed Harris in Apollo 13.

Current song in head: Something by Gordon Lightfoot that also randomly came up on the iPod recently. I don't know what it's called. Hang on, I'll look up the lyrics... OK, apparently it's "Endless Wire." There you go.

Current refreshment: Nothing. But I need more fluids. I need all the fluids.

Current DVD in player: Most recently, Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing. Which was extremely impressive considering it was basically Whedon and a bunch of his buddies filming in his house. But then, the guy has talented buddies, and a pretty awesome house.

Current worry: I probably have a million things to worry about, but right now I just don't even have the energy. Which I guess is one good thing about being sick.

Current thought: I really, really hope I am feeling well enough tomorrow to go up to Albuquerque. I want to go to the book sale! Those always make me feel better.

Everything That Can Go Wrong Does.

The latest installment in "Betty Can't Catch a Break Theater": I had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday for a procedure -- a bit of minor outpatient surgery -- to help make my annoying ladyparts issues less annoying. So, I arranged to take off work, and had a pre-op appointment and a bunch of blood tests and found somebody to give me a ride back from the hospital, and was all set to go... And then I went and caught a goddamn head cold, and they won't do it. Now I'm going to have to go through all of this again in a month's time, and I'm willing to bet the timing with my work schedule and my menstrual cycle won't be nearly as good this time. Worse, that's going to take me dangerously close to the end of the year, when my insurance suddenly goes to shit, meaning that if for any reason I'm going to need extra follow-up, it's going to cost me badly. Urgh.

I believe the moral of this story may be, never go to a doctor named Murphy. Really, I was probably just asking for trouble.

Another Succinct Movie Review

I'm in the middle of watching Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp. And whatever the hell they're trying to do with this movie, they're not pulling it off.

Booooooks!

Yesterday, while other people were putting on costumes and bobbing for apples, or whatever it is they do on Halloween, I was doing this:



This would be the infamous (and understatedly named) To-Read Pile. Or most of it, anyway. I previously had most of these books sitting on shelves attached to the wall in my utility room, but said shelves were really never designed to hold that much weight, and since it was starting to pull the shelves away from the ceiling, and possibly deforming my house, it seemed like a very good idea to move it all elsewhere. So, a little while back, I ordered some cheap but functional bookshelves. When they arrived yesterday, I quickly abandoned whatever plans I had -- I think they mostly involved watching a lot of The Twilight Zone -- and instead spent the entire day moving furniture, assembling bookcases, and hauling probably about 800 books around. Today, my body is pretty much one giant ache. But it was worth it! Not only those shelves attached to the wall now highly unlikely to detach themselves and collapse, but I also have a living room full of books! (And part of the kitchen. And, um, a bit of the hallway you can't see in this picture. Yes, I know I have too many books. Shut up.)

Now, I think I'm going to spend most of today reading.

Happy Halloween!

For your Halloween entertainment, I present a little girl dressing up as all eleven Doctors and Patrick Stewart impersonating a crustacean.

Lost In Space

So, I went out to see Gravity tonight. Having now experienced both, I can tell you that it looks fantastic if the theater's 3D projector is functioning correctly, and utterly terrible if it's not. Fortunately, they did get it fixed, and it turns out to be a pretty impressive and exciting movie when you can actually see it properly. I did notice an instance or two of iffy physics -- The Bad Astronomy blog has a nice breakdown of what's accurate and what's not, if you're interested -- but for once I honestly didn't mind.

Gimme Some Money

So, in the latest installment of "Why does the entire universe keep trying to get me to dig myself deeper into a financial hole?", it turns out the organization I work for is transferring us all over ASAP to a new health insurance plan. Which not only appears to be ridiculously complicated -- I've been staring at the explanations they've got up on the web for some time now and am still not sure how the whole thing works or exactly what it requires me to do -- but also features hefty deductibles and an out-of-pocket maximum that's fully double the one on the existing plan. (Which amount, as things stand right now, could wipe out my savings quite handily in one worst-case-scenario year.) At least the premiums are lower, and you can put the difference in an account towards your expenses... or something. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to come out the financial loser on this one, not to mention the fact that having to do complicated financial planning always makes me kind of flaily.

And all this, of course, just as I'm hitting a point -- hello, middle age! -- where I'm already starting to feel the pinch of increasing medical expenses for increasing medical needs. Not to mention that my struggles to save more money and/or pay off my credit care debt continue to be in vain, as every time I start making some headway, I'm hit with, say, the urgent necessity to make my house stop leaking, or a $500 vet bill for a fruitless attempt to save a dying cat.

Mind you, I'm well aware that I'm still much better off than a lot of people. But it doesn't stop me from just wishing I could catch a break for once.

But If Anybody Asks Me Whether I Screamed, I Will Deny It.

As has become an annual tradition, I am going to miss the Halloween party my friends are throwing this weekend, this time because I have to work. (Last year, I put in for the day off so I could be sure to make it... and then I got sick and couldn't go, anyway. If I believed in such things, I'd say that something up there simply does not want me to attend any Halloween parties. Possibly because it recognizes my sad lack of costuming skills.)

I did get out to do some fun, seasonally-appropriate stuff last night, though: first the Rifftrax presentation of the original Night of the Living Dead, which was entertaining, and then a haunted house attraction, which turned out to be way more fun, and a lot scarier, than such things seem like they ought to be. I also discovered that, unathletic as I am, I can run when there is an evil clown with a chainsaw chasing me through a parking lot, so that's good to know.

Goodbye, Happiness

I have fewer cats now, and I am sad.

I had thought I'd write this whole eulogy or something, but, really, I don't feel up to it. I'll just say, she was a good kitty, and I'll miss her.

Poor, Poor Kitty

Happiness update: I called the vet this morning when I got home from work, and she said that Happiness did seem a little better, that she'd been eating and urinating, and was behaving "more like a cat." Unfortunately, when they ran her bloodwork again later in the day, the results were actually a little worse. And now she's started to go back downhill again. I just went in to see her and she did not look good. Although at least she seems to be able to sleep, which is no doubt the best thing for her right now. They're going to keep her on fluids for another day. It might help. But let's just say I'm not necessarily expecting much.

Well, I'm Excited!

New trailer for the Doctor Who fiftieth anniversary special!



(Although I can't help thinking that it's kind of cute how he's still claiming to be just over 900 years old.)

Poor Kitty

My elderly cat Happiness is not doing well. She vomited a few times over the past few days, which isn't all that unusual, but she seemed to be eating even less than usual, and the last time she threw up, it was just thin, watery yellow liquid. So I was worried about her, wondering whether I should take her to the vet. And then when I got home from work this morning, she just didn't seem right. Lethargic and weak, and just not behaving like herself. She purred when I petted her, and even that sounded wrong, somehow. So I took her in to the vet.

Apparently, her kidneys were failing. Not good. They have her on fluids now, and are going to keep her through the weekend. I went in to see her this afternoon, and she did look a little better. They also said she had eaten some, which is encouraging. Mostly, though, she seemed very quiet, like she just didn't want to do anything but rest. They've got her on a nice, cozy cat bed with a hot water bottle, so at least she's resting comfortably.

The prognosis is, well, uncertain. The vet says she has sometimes seen cats bounce back from this sort of thing after being treated with fluids, and be pretty much okay for years. But Happiness is old and frail, and already has a thyroid condition, so... Well, we'll see what happens. Poor kitty.

Back in Business!

Sometimes the wheels of bureaucracy grind faster than expected! Looks like we're going to be back up and running tomorrow! If I were one for looking on the dark side, I might say, "Sure, just in time for me to be working 12-hour night shifts." But I'm just hoping we can get things back to normal ASAP.

About Goddamn Time

Halle-freaking-lujah! Congress finally pulled its head just far enough out of its ass for just long enough to end this stupid shutdown! Although it's going to take at least through Monday for us to get our funding sorted out and get back up and running, so they haven't completely finished wasting our time just yet.

Helpless In The Face Of My Book Addiction

So, the one (admittedly extremely trivial) silver lining to this whole stupid shutdown thing is that, while I'm required to be at work but forbidden from doing much in the way of actual working, I'm getting a lot of reading done. I've been consistently finishing a book a day, which would be good news for the state of my To-Read Pile, if only the local library hadn't just gone and held another book sale, thus wiping out all my progress and then some. Well, I suppose at least I can take comfort in the fact that, no matter how long this goes on, I'm never going to run out of stuff to read.

Confirmed!

It has now, in fact, been officially confirmed that missing Doctor Who episodes have been found! And, OK, it was nine episodes in Nigeria, not a hundred episodes in Ethiopia, but that's still really darned cool! How amazing is it that people are still randomly stumbling across these things, all these decades later?

Isn't It Just Like The Doctor To Randomly Show Up Decades Later Like This?

Well, here's some good news, at least for those of us who care about such things: it looks like missing Doctor Who episodes have been found! I'd been hearing this rumor for a few days, but such rumors crop up so often that I've taken to pretty much dismissing them. This story is on the BBC News website, though, so there seems to be something legit here. It's still just an announcement that there's going to be an announcement, though, carefully worded to make no concrete claims and containing no actual info about what or how many or where. Other sites have been saying it's fully one hundred episodes, recovered in (of all places) Ethiopia. But we'll see. Even if it's a lot less than that, what a great 50th Anniversary present for fans of the show!

Stressed-Out October Currentlies

Current clothes: Blue jeans. My "let's say you've gone back in time" t-shirt, with instructions on how to invent stuff if you get trapped in the past. White socks. No shoes at the moment, although I ought to put some slippers on, because my feet are cold.

Current mood: Surprisingly calm and collected, interspersed with moments when I honestly feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.

Current music: Nothing, really.

Current annoyance: I... Yeah, I just want to respond to this by quoting Marvin: "Life. Don't talk to me about life."

Current thing: Telling myself not to click on cnn.com, and then clicking on it anyway, and then wishing I hadn't.

Current desktop picture: Still the same super-sekrit Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal wallpaper as last month.

Current book: I just finished Thorns by Robert Silverberg, which was an odd little novel. Next up is Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel, about which I have heard good things.

Current song in head: Nothing. There is no singing in my head at the moment.

Current refreshment: A can of root beer and some salad. It's the remains of my lunch.

Current DVD in player: I just finished season six of The Big Bang Theory. I have some issues with that show. Some rather big issues, really. But it makes me laugh a lot, so I mostly manage to forgive it.

Current worry: Current circumstances have stirred up all my old worries about the future. Not that they needed much stirring, admittedly. I just can't help fretting about what I will do when I lose my job. Because the way things have been going, it probably is "when" and not "if." Someday, the funding is going to go away for good. And, seriously, what do I do then? I desperately, desperately do not want to leave Socorro, but unless a VLA operator job opens up or something, what work will there be for me here? Will there even be any decent work for me anywhere, given my super-specialized skill set and my one-line resume? Contemplating the possibilities honestly terrifies me. Talking about going back in time... I keep thinking that I want to go back and lambast my teenage self for her choice of college major. I should have studied computer programming. I had real talent for that, once upon a time, and good programmers are always in demand. How much work is there for someone with a bachelor's in astrophysics?

Current thought: Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Everything in my life that I've ever spent too much time panicking about has always come out OK in the end.

Well, It's Nice To Be Missed. But It Sucks To Be Gone.

The shutdown of NRAO seems to be getting noticed, at least by the science press. Here's a blog post from The Planetary Society's Emily Lakdawalla with links to some articles.

Shutdown Update

So, it has been deemed that I am, in fact, essential personnel, and I will be working my full shifts through the shutdown. Our all-important daily observations for the US Naval Observatory will, counting the stuff that needs to be done before and after, take up maybe a couple of hours a night (which will probably mostly be on my shift). Otherwise, we are required to be there solely in case something happens that threatens the safety of one of our antennas, or that will render us unable to run those observations. We are not permitted to do any other work, and the machines that would allow us to do what is normally the other half of our job will be shut down.

It's a good thing I've still got six hundred unread books sitting around, that's all I can say.

We should be getting paid for this once there's actual money to pay us with, and I've still got a paycheck coming for the last two weeks I worked, plus enough money in my savings account to cushion me if there's a delay, so hopefully I won't have much financial hardship from this, although my heart goes out to those out there who will. But it's still all just really, really sad.

The Farce Continues

Well, apparently whatever hopes we had to eke out operations another week or so into the shutdown have fallen through, and, as of five o'clock tomorrow, the observatory I work for is officially closed. Millions of dollars of beautiful, powerful scientific instruments that your tax dollars paid for will be sitting idle indefinitely, while hundreds of skilled and dedicated people sit at home twiddling their thumbs instead of doing science. For absolutely no good reason. Go, America.

Exactly what this means for me, though, is still very much up in the air. It seems I am considered essential personnel, at least to some extent. There's a nightly observation we do for the US Navy that absolutely must run, come hell, high water, or government collapse. Depending on exactly when that's scheduled, it could mean a couple of hours of work a night for me, at least for next week. But it's also possible our presence might be deemed necessary for the safety and security of the building, in which case I could be doing my regular shifts, albeit with a highly reduced workload. But that has yet to be decided, so, for now, I'm just waiting for somebody to tell me when and whether to come in on Monday. And then I guess I wait to see when I get paid.

Scenes From The Shutdown

Just got off the phone with my mother. She works stocking products on shelves at military commissaries, and as of today, almost all of them are shut down. Until this thing gets resolved, all the groceries in those stores are just going to sit there, slowly rotting. Even if the government is back in business by the end of the week, that's going to be a lot of expired dairy products going directly into the dumpster, with either the government or the food companies swallowing the losses.

Somehow, all that needlessly wasted milk, sitting there on the shelves of a dark, locked-up store slowly going sour strikes me as an apt symbol for this whole disgraceful thing.