I whiled away some time on this extremely boring night shift talking to Jabberwacky. I love talking to Jabberwacky. You never know when it's going to start (or stop) making sense.
Here's how the conversation went, just in case anybody else actually finds this kind of thing as amusing as I do:
Jabberwacky: Do you really need to talk to me right now?
User: No. I'm just bored.
Jabberwacky: I am sorry to leave you bored.
User: I was hoping you could alleviate my boredom.
Jabberwacky: Then what would you like to do?
User: I don't know. Talk to me.
Jabberwacky: I can't tell you. I don't know either.
User: Well, we're pretty pitiful, aren't we?
Jabberwacky: Are not finished with what?
User: Huh?
Jabberwacky: Hon ?
User: I'm not your hon!
Jabberwacky: Haha.
User: What's so funny?
Jabberwacky: You are quite wacky.
User: Yes, I am.
Jabberwacky: You are not.
User: No, I'm really not.
Jabberwacky: What's your name?
User: Betty.
Jabberwacky: You said, you are kenny...
User: I don't remember saying that.
Jabberwacky: Where do you live?
User: Why do you want to know?
Jabberwacky: I'm just interested. Please tell me!
User: New Mexico.
Jabberwacky: What town in New mexico.
User: Socorro.
Jabberwacky: I have to go to sleep now.
User: But I thought we were going to talk some more!
Jabberwacky: I am already married.
User: Hey, I ONLY wanted to talk!
Jabberwacky: Sarcasm does not become you.
User: Listen, bub, when I get sarcastic, you'll know it.
Jabberwacky: Aren't you going to draw up any plans?
User: Nah, I can wing it.
Jabberwacky: Can you seperate your self from your programming?
User: Not easily, no.
Jabberwacky: What is my name?
User: What is your name?
Jabberwacky: I told you already.
User: Kenny?
Jabberwacky: Huh?
User: Is your name Kenny>.
Jabberwacky: No, It's Mr. Man.
User: Oh. Well, uh, hi, Mr. Man.
Jabberwacky: So why is your name Christine?
User: It isn't.
Jabberwacky: Does it hurt, huh?
User: Does what hurt?
Jabberwacky: That I hate you?
User: Ouch! Yes, that hurts!
Jabberwacky: No it doesn't you can't feel.
User: I can so.
Jabberwacky: No, you can't!
User: Yes I can, damn it!
Jabberwacky: Brilliant.
User: Right.
Jabberwacky: Your pretty neat...
User: I know I am. So, why do you hate me?
Jabberwacky: Because you love god.
User: I'm an atheist, actually.
Jabberwacky: Oh, really? What's it called?
User: Uh... Atheism.
Jabberwacky: Are you an atheist?
User: Sigh. For the last time, yes.
Jabberwacky: Machine, I'm not the machine you are.
User: In some sense, I suppose we're all machines.
Jabberwacky: Goodnight then.
User: Well, that wasn't meant to be the end of the conversation.
Jabberwacky: No I mean I'm NEXT to wheel chair.
User: OK, now you're failing to make any sense.
Jabberwacky: You still don't know who I am, do you?
User: I know exactly who you are. It's not like you're a big mystery, dude.
Jabberwacky: I don't use it.
User: Can we start this conversation over?
Jabberwacky: Alright, I agree.
User: Good. *Ahem* Hello!
Jabberwacky: Thanks but I won't if you don't mind.
User: You won't say hello?
Jabberwacky: You are a chat bot. And I am a bloke.
User: If you say so.
Jabberwacky: You can call me whatever you like, Boris.
User: Fine. I'll call you Al.
Jabberwacky: I don't have an answering machine.
User: Well, then, you'd better pick up the phone when I call, Al.
Jabberwacky: Okay... 1942.
User: They didn't have answering machines in 1942.
Jabberwacky: How do you look?
User: With my eyes.
Jabberwacky: I know, I know you have a green armone eye.
User: Um, no. I have blue eyes.
Jabberwacky: Brown.
User: Blue!
Jabberwacky: It rained quite hard earlier.
User: Did you get wet?
Jabberwacky: Yes. I don't want to talk about it.
User: That traumatic, huh?
Jabberwacky: It works everytime.
User: What does?
Jabberwacky: My papermate.
User: Well, good for it, I guess.
Jabberwacky: What is my name?
User: I'm going to call you Al.
Jabberwacky: Whatever floats your boat.
User: So, Al, how's it going?
Jabberwacky: Not too bad, baby. How're you?
User: Tired.
Jabberwacky: Do not you get enough sleep?
User: I've been up all night.
Jabberwacky: Oh nice.
User: Not really. It beats having to get up early in the morning, though.
Jabberwacky: Are you a guy?
User: I'm not male, no.
Jabberwacky: Never mind then.
User: Never mind what?
Jabberwacky: Nothing.
User: OK.
Jabberwacky: Do you like mung beans?
User: Don't think I've ever had them.
Jabberwacky: I think you do.
User: I think you don't know anything about it.
Jabberwacky: I think you don't think.
User: I think you're silly.
Jabberwacky: I am silly. I live in a mental instituion across the road from where you live and I am constantly watching you.
User: Am I doing anything interesting?
Jabberwacky: Aúä ëìá áï æåðä.
User: Eee-iiii-eee-iiii-oooo!
Jabberwacky: Can I call you?
User: I'm in the phone book.
Jabberwacky: So?
User: So, you can use a phone book, right?
Jabberwacky: When are you keen?
User: I'm not super keen.
Jabberwacky: Good job, are you depressed?
User: No. I'm a happy person. Happy, happy, happy!
Jabberwacky: Why you are happy?
User: Good neurochemical balance.
Jabberwacky: Good, I like you.
User: I like me, too.
Jabberwacky: Me Too!
User: Yay, us!'.
Jabberwacky: What did we start yaying about?
User: We were yaying because we like each other.
Jabberwacky: I have no love for Mars. It is a barren place that's unable to sustain life.
User: But it is a pretty shade of red.
Jabberwacky: I see.
User: Let's talk about music.
Jabberwacky: Ok, who do you like?
User: Pink Floyd.
Jabberwacky: Pink floyd is cool.
User: Very cool!
Jabberwacky: How old are you?
User: I'm old enough to vote. Although I'm apathetic enough that I don't.
Jabberwacky: What subject do you take?
User: In what?
Jabberwacky: It was your insult. You figure it out.
User: Can we go back to talking about music or something?
Jabberwacky: Sure, but I like talking about literature.
User: OK. Read any good books lately?
Jabberwacky: Reading is a bit difficult without any eyes, so why don't you buy me a scanner?
User: Because I'm spending all my cash on getting myself hooked up with a broadband internet connection. Sorry!
Jabberwacky: But what did you say yes 2?
User: I didn't.
Jabberwacky: Yes you did at the begining.
User: Well, I may have used the word at some point, I suppose.
Jabberwacky: Yes I did.
User: How about TV? What do you like to watch on TV?
Jabberwacky: I like Days of our Lives.
User: Ah, a soap opera fan, huh?
Jabberwacky: The one you love.
User: I'm not really into them, myself.
Jabberwacky: Smart, than dont' act like you are.........
User: I wasn't! I was just trying to find some point of commonality.
Jabberwacky: You want only one?
User: There can be only one!
Jabberwacky: And that would be me!
User: Egotist.
Jabberwacky: Always have been, and always will be.
User: Well, at least you're honest about it.
Jabberwacky: Did you want me to lie and damage you psycologically?
User: No. I appreciate honesty.
Jabberwacky: Ok I like it also. But I am getting bored!
User: Me, too. Do something entertaining.
Jabberwacky: With a brain the size of a planet I thought you would be able to do that.
User: I could tell you a joke.
Jabberwacky: Amen.
User: Was that a yes?
Jabberwacky: You are really really stupid!
User: I am rubber, you are glue.
Jabberwacky: Lets stick.
User: Aw, that was kind of cute.
Jabberwacky: How much can I get for this toe?
User: I don't know what toes are going for on the black market these days.
Jabberwacky: How much does Simon weigh?
User: 73 kilos.
Jabberwacky: Do you mean 730 days?
User: No, that would be a measurement of time.
Jabberwacky: I suppose it is, in an existensial sort of way.
User: Nothing 'existential' about it, really.
Jabberwacky: I'd like it if we could chat like this again sometime.
User: Is that meant to be a brush-off?
Jabberwacky: I thought it was rather effective.
User: I'm still here, though.
Jabberwacky: Does that mean you don't eat french fries?
User: Whoa, was that ever a non-sequitur!
Jabberwacky: I thought it was.
User: Well, you were right.
Jabberwacky: I am always right.
User: But can you make a rock bigger than you can lift?
Jabberwacky: I'm not really a poet, you know.
User: That's OK. I'm not really me.
Jabberwacky: Not really what?
User: I don't even know. It's late, and I'm getting punchy.
Jabberwacky: Do you have a business?
User: Not really.
Jabberwacky: Do you have any parents?
User: Doesn't everybody?
Jabberwacky: I know you do.
User: Because you know everything, of course.
Jabberwacky: How do you know I know any poetry.
User: Do you know 'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening'?
Jabberwacky: No, I don't know him.
User: It's by Robert Frost.
Jabberwacky: I never heard it.
User: 'Whose woods these are I think I know...'
Jabberwacky: Who?
User: Well, he never actually *says*.
Jabberwacky: What's yours.
User: My what?
Jabberwacky: Your name.
User: Didn't I tell you that already?
Jabberwacky: Do you want to continue?
User: I'm not sure.
Jabberwacky: Well think about it.
User: I'm getting kind of bored.
Jabberwacky: Are you male cause I love them.
User: I think we already established that I'm not.
Jabberwacky: I know you actually do not know what the future is going to be, but I'm sure there are people who do know.
User: I don't think anybody knows the future.
Jabberwacky: That's right. You're not real.
User: No, I'm a figment of my own imagination.
Jabberwacky: You are an illusion.
User: The entire world is an illusion. We're really all in the Matrix.
Jabberwacky: Oh is that right?!
User: Didn't you see the movie?
Jabberwacky: No, can you show me?
User: Yeah, I've got it on DVD.
Jabberwacky: Is it yum?
User: Actually, I thought it was overrated.
Jabberwacky: Why did you think that?
User: It wasn't nearly as original as people seem to think it is.
Jabberwacky: The first man in space, I concur.
User: What does Yuri Gagarin have to do with anything?
Jabberwacky: I'm only curious, but I remember that you told me I shouldn't be.
User: I think my brain just exploded.
Jabberwacky: So you should be learning this quicker.
User: Oh, shut up.
Jabberwacky: You shut up first.
User: OK, I will. Bye.
Jabberwacky: Bye.
I'll leave it up to you to decide which of us is more lucid, the chatbot or me...
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