Why Movies Are My Least Favorite Entertainment Delivery System: A Random Ramble Of Rambliness

I watched about half of Mockingjay, Part 1 last night before I got too sleepy to continue, and I'm now debating whether I should even bother finishing it. It's not that it's bad, exactly, but so far it consists mostly of people sitting or standing around in various places with offputting lighting, looking grim and intoning stilted Dialog of Earnest Seriousness at each other. And do I really need more of that in my life? Especially as I did read the books, so it's not like I don't know how it all comes out.

All of which is making me think of this blog post that I read a few days ago. (If you're too lazy to click, the title is, "Too Busy To Watch a Movie? Read A Book.") Reading that gave me one of those "OMG, I am not alone!" reactions, as I have been trying to explain to people for ages how it is that I can binge-watch entire seasons of TV shows or cheerfully dive into a 500-page novel that will take me days to finish, but sitting down to watch a 2-hour movie somehow feels like way too much effort. Generally, people look at me in blank incomprehension when I say that, but, wheee! Turns out it's not just me!

Mind you, I'm not sure the author has the full explanation here. Yes, I think probably a large part of it is that we all feel really busy these days, with a zillion other things we could be doing instead of watching that 2-hour movie, while TV episodes are more bite-sized and thus feel like less of a commitment, and books can be whipped out anywhere and read a few pages at a time. But for me, at least, it's more than that. It's not just that I am (or feel) busy and don't want to commit the time. It's more about committing my attention, and the issue of how much reward I get in return for what that attention costs me. Books, for me, require almost no effort. Reading is almost like breathing for me, and it's pretty much an unthinking default activity for filling any random downtime. Utterly effortless, and often done during times when I wouldn't be doing much of anything else, anyway, so it scarcely feels like an investment. Even if it turns out to be a bad book, I don't really feel frustrated or cheated out of the time it took me to read it. Much.

A TV episode requires maybe 40 minutes of sitting down and actively committing your attention to the screen (or at least, it does the way I watch it). A movie might require a couple of hours. But how does the reward compare? I think this is what makes the difference. I find I have very little patience with movies that don't completely and immediately deliver me a great viewing experience; whereas I can actually have a lot of patience with a subpar episode of TV show I'm following. Why? I think it's this: with a decent TV show, there's at least the prospect of a long-term reward for the time I'm investing. Maybe the pilot episode is rough, maybe this particular mid-season episode is mostly just annoying filler, whatever. But sitting through that episode, even if it's not great in itself, gets me somewhere. At least, it does with most modern TV shows. It's a step along the path in a much larger story, a story that I get to watch play out over time, with characters whose lives I can be a part of for a good long while and a world that my TV and I can explore together at our leisure. It's a part of a larger whole, one that can potentially provide me with days or years of entertainment, which makes it worth sitting through the boring parts and the missteps, as long as that whole seems at all worthwhile. And if the episode I'm currently watching isn't great, the next episode might be a lot better. But I have to get through the current one first, or the story won't work as well. And, hey, I can do that! It's totally worth it to me. And so I'm able to relax and enjoy myself, rather than feeling impatient and frustrated and distracted by thoughts of all the other things I could be doing with my time instead.

With a movie... Well, you watch the movie, and that's it. That's the full experience. The point of watching a movie is to enjoy the movie, and so, if my enjoyment is anything less than complete, it feels like kind of a waste of time. That's even true for movies like The Hunger Games series, where there actually is one story continued over several movies, because these things come out spaced a year or more apart, and generally by the time the next one is available, I've forgotten most of the last one and lost all sense of momentum and most of my interest. Sure, there are exceptions, exciting movies that provide extended enjoyment because afterward I spend a long time thinking about them and discussing them, and can watch them over and over and find new things in them each time. (Hello, Cabin in the Woods!) But those are very, very rare. Most of Hollywood's output is, at best... kind of OK. And two hours of my concentrated attention for the sole reward of having watched something kind of OK is mostly just not good enough.

No One Understands Me But My Google

My new phone came with this app from the All-Knowing Google, which, when opened, automatically provides information it believes you will want. Last night, it reminded me that today is Yuri Gagarin day, and that there's a new episode of Once Upon a Time. That's a level of relevance-to-my-interests that's almost disturbing. Truly, 21st century technology is a wonderful and terrifying thing.

Also, happy Yuri Gagarin Day!

But At Least I Have Shoes.

Today's excitement: I drove up to Albuquerque to buy myself a new pair of shoes. Afterward, I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I ended up meeting him at the hospital instead, as he arrived home only to discover his elderly mother had been carted off in an ambulance. Eeeep! Fortunately, she seems to be just fine. But I would appreciate it if that's the last phone call I get telling me someone's in the hospital for a good long while.

In Which I Accomplish Things, And Other People Flake Out Completely

It's been a fairly satisfying few days, just in terms of how much I've managed to knock off my ridiculously long to-do list. Yay!

I really wish that one of those things had been getting the ball rolling on the concrete work I need done, though. I'm still utterly befuddled by my dealings with the company here in Socorro. I called them over a week ago and got someone who seemed very clueless about what they would or wouldn't do, but said that the boss would call me back and let me know. He did a few hours later and told me that, yep, they'd do the kind of work I need -- removing the old damaged concrete of my driveway and from around my house and replacing it with new stuff -- and that he'd come out and give me an estimate the next day, and would call before he showed up. Never saw him, never heard from him. I called back the next day, during normal business hours, got no answer, and left a message. Nothing. I called again a couple of days ago, after the Easter holidays, to ask what the hell happened, kinda hoping there'd be some legitimate excuse about a family emergency or something, and got someone who sounded a lot like the same person I originally talked to. She claimed to have no idea who I was or that I'd ever called or arranged anything, and suggested that maybe the reason I got blown off was because "we've been kinda busy." Then she assured me that the boss would call me back "the minute he steps in the door." Guess what? Yep. Never heard back. So, clearly these are not people I actually want to do business with. (That's A-1 Concrete, for the local Socorro folks. I recommend avoiding.) Anyway, I guess once again I'm going to have to find someone in Albuquerque who's willing to come down here.

Sigh. Sometimes I really hate this town.

Technological Progress!

So, I did, in fact, get quite a few major things done yesterday, even if my to-do list is still somehow growing instead of shrinking. The biggest thing is that I finally did something I'd been intending to do for at least the last year: I got myself into the Verizon store and bought myself a new phone.

I now have a shiny new LG G3, a good phone with a ridiculously bland and unmemorable name. So far, I am deliriously happy with it. Mind you, at this point anything would be a vast improvement over my old phone, which is nearly five years old and was low-end even when I bought it. Among other things rendering it very close to useless for most of what you'd actually want to use a smartphone for, it had so little memory that not only could I not add any more apps to it, I couldn't even let the ones that were already there update themselves.

I've also long since come to realize that I find very small screens entirely too annoying to deal with The new one has a 5.5" display, and, oh, man, that's approximately a 6,000-fold increase in usability for me. The keyboard display is actually large enough for me to type on it comfortably! It takes me more than three seconds to read all the text that fits on the screen! I can actually see what's going on in a video! Hallelujah!

Or Maybe I'll Just Sit Around Dithering About What To Do Until It's Time To Go Back To Work.

One of my co-workers is transferring to another position, and we haven't hired someone to replace him yet, never mind getting them trained. So for the near future, my work schedule is even weirder than usual. Among other things, that means I'm working one of those 7-day, 64-hour weeks of night shifts next week. Yay. But it also means that, starting today, I have five days in a row off. Which is awesome, and more or less makes up for it.

Except for the fact that I've got this small but forceful voice in the back of my brain insisting that I need to use this time off to do ALL THE THINGS, as quickly as possible, especially the things that require doing stuff during normal day person hours, but also that I absolutely must use it to relax and de-stress, do a lot of reading and catch up on all the TV shows I've recorded but not yet watched.

Thanks, brain. Thanks a lot.

Well, so far I've hacked down weeds in the yard (ah, the joys of spring!) and called the city (again) about the fire hydrant in my front yard that's leaking (still), and put some laundry in the washer. Not bad, considering that it's not even 11 AM yet. Maybe now I can get to work on that relaxing part...

(70 Miles South Of) Albuquerque

I'm already doing very poorly with this posting-every-day thing. The only thing I can think of to blog about today is how I went into the Subway wearing my Weird Al Yankovic t-shirt, and when I said, "Can I get chips and a drink with that?" the guy responded, "Naaaah, we're out of bear claws," and I felt that bizarre warm glow that only comes from sharing a pop cultural affinity with a completely random person in a completely random situation.

And for anyone who might need an explanation and have eleven minutes to kill:

I Got Nothing Else Today, So Let's Do This Now.

Current clothes: Blue jeans. A Doctor Who t-shirt. Brown leather boots that have definitely seen better days and are reminding me that I need to go and buy some new shoes soon.

Current mood: Mostly OK, I guess, although if I'm honest, I have been kinda grumpy and insecure lately, overall.

Current music: Nothing at the moment, really. But I'm thinking of buying a pair of portable speakers for my iPod, so I can have it wake me up in the morning with random music.

Current annoyance: Having to schedule things that involve other people. Because then not only do I have to work around my own (frequently insane) schedule, I also have to work around theirs. Even more annoying: when they then don't show up.

Current thing: I, um, may have been accidentally buying entirely too many books again. But... But books are my refuge when I am feeling grumpy and insecure! And buying them and surrounding myself with them may actually be even more soothing than reading them. (Is this working as an excuse, or just making me sound really, really pathetic?)

Current desktop picture: It's still Uncle Iroh, although, much as I love him, I think it really is time to replace him now.

Current book: The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss. It's a giant brick of a fantasy novel -- part two in a series of giant fantasy bricks -- but it's a surprisingly quick and pleasant read.

Current song in head: Something the dancing demon sang in the musical Buffy episode, because it randomly came up on my iPod a couple of days ago.

Current refreshment: Nothing. I must have refreshment! Actually, I must figure out what I want to do for dinner...

Current DVD in player: Disc 3 of season 3 of Dexter. Which is a weirdly additive show, and which makes me think all kinds of pretentious, half-formed thoughts about narrative and POV and the seductive but problematic concept of vigilante justice, and stuff. Although I'm also wondering whether it's a premise that's actually capable of supporting a full eight seasons, and whether it might actually have peaked in season two. But I intend to keep watching it to find out.

Current worry: Nothing specific, honestly. Which I guess is actually kind of nice, only having vague, general things to worry about.

Current thought:

It Must Be Bunnies!

Happy Easter, to those for whom the occasion is significant. (And, for that matter, happy Passover, ditto.)

In honor of the day, may I direct you to possibly the most adorable piece of Doctor Who fan art ever?

Although They Do Say If You Eat A Live Frog Before Breakfast, Nothing Worse Will Happen To You (Or The Frog) For The Rest Of The Day.

Hoo, boy, has today been One of Those Days. I think there should be a rule that says, if breakfast involves discovering your bagel is moldy after you've eaten almost half of it, you should just be allowed to go back to bed and blow off whatever you were supposed to do for the rest of the day. Because, somehow, it just never gets much better from there.

How Is It That I'm Old Enough To Be Doing Anything For 20 Years?

Just got an e-mail at work yesterday acknowledging the fact that, as of last year, I have been with the Observatory for 20 years. In recognition of this fact, I get a pin, a plaque, a free dinner, a substantial gift certificate, and the disconcerting feeling of wondering where the hell all that time has gone and what exactly I've been doing with my life.

April Fools, First World Problems, Whatever

It's been many years since someone played a deliberate prank on me on April Fool's Day (at least, if you don't count all those fake news articles and things), and this year was no different. But I swear, the entire world seems to have lined up to mess with me, anyway. I spent all day waiting for a guy to come and give me an estimate on re-doing my driveway, but he never called and never came. Finally, hungry and tired from all that waiting, I ordered myself a pizza, only to have the wrong one show up. Which I didn't realize until the delivery guy had left, of course, although the smell of green peppers wafting from the box ought to have been a clue. I hate green peppers.

Seriously, world, come on. That's a really lame sense of humor. I mean, if you're gonna play pranks on me, you could at least make them creative.

Um... wait. Pretend I never said that. I don't want to tempt fate quite that much.

The Triumpant Return Of Blogs-A-Lot April (No April Foolin'!)

So, last year I did this thing where for (most of) the month of April, I made a point of posting something here every day, even if it was just a stray thought or a random link. And I think it was a worthwhile exercise -- for me, if for no one else. And appropriate for April, too, since this is the blog's anniversary month. (It's 13! Which is a fact that's kind of hard to process, on several levels.) Anyway, I'm going to try it again this month. I have no idea what I'm going to have to say for the next 29 days, but, hey, I'm sure it'll be fun finding out.

Everyone Should Have A 5-Year Supply of Books Stockpiled In Case Of Emergency.

Today's fun link: a helpful/terrifying tool to calculate how long it will take you to finish all your unread books.

My results look like this:

Reading all 783 books will take:
5 years and 8 months

You will finish your TBR pile on:
November 23, 2020

And you will be:
49 years old

That's not too bad, right? Let's just ignore that small matter of me buying them faster than I read them.

I'm also very amused that apparently I will finish reading my stash on Doctor Who Anniversary Day. Clearly, I'll need to finish up with a Who-related book. Guess I've got five years and eight months to decide which one.

Qapla'! Well, Almost.

Just got back from the Geeks Who Drink Star Trek trivia quiz in Albuquerque, which I attended with a team of co-workers. And, my, we are a gloriously nerdy lot. We tied for second! Which, alas, nets us no prize -- oh, if only we had been able to remember what ore the Cardassians were processing on DS9! -- but nevertheless allowed us to emerge with a nice, warm feeling of Trekkie pride.

Also, I drank something alcoholic and green. Just call me Scotty!

More Dental Adventures

Ever since I had that big ol' chip in my tooth fixed it's been bugging me anytime I drink or eat something cold, or even drink room-temperature water, if it makes too much contact. So I finally went back to the dentist. He probed around with his little air-blower thingy to see where it was bothering me and exclaimed, "Oh, that makes our lives easier!" Man, that is definitely the sort of thing you want to hear at the dentist. Anyway, he thinks probably all it needed was some varnish to fill in a little "insufficiency." As opposed to, y'know, a root canal. The whole thing took 15 minutes. Right now, I've got a giant wad of gauze in my face that I'm not allowed to remove for half an hour, and I may have to go back for a couple more applications. But I will definitely take that over a root canal. Whew!

Three Completely Unrelated Things

Because three things make a post, right?

1. Happy Pi Day! This is an extra-special one: since it's 3/14/15, we've got a couple of extra digits! Too bad I was asleep at 9:26, or I could have really celebrated! Alas, I have no pie, although I do have to go to the grocery store soon, so I think I'm going to rectify that. In the meantime, I will observe the occasion by linking to Phil Plait's 8 Things About Pi for Pi Day post.

2. I am watching Game of Thrones again, now that season 4 is out on DVD. (I've got two episodes left. Do not spoil me!) My reaction to this show at the moment is an interestingly paradoxical blend of, "Man, this crapsack world is too crappy even for me!"[*] and "Ooh, I have got to get around to reading these books!"

3. While we're in mourning for Leonard Nimoy and Terry Pratchett, let's also take a moment to remember Nimoy's fellow Star Trek contributor Harve Bennett, who, as a friend reminded me recently, was responsible for much of the success of the Trek films, and was the person who convinced Nimoy to return for The Wrath of Khan. He died on February 25.


[*] I have something of a taste for dark stories where really bad things happen to everybody. It makes me feel way better about my own life, by contrast.

This Is Getting Depressing

And then today, I got to wake up to the news that Terry Pratchett had died. I confess, I found myself shedding a few tears at that, which I didn't when I read about Nimoy. I think maybe it's because my brain is simply incapable of processing the idea of a world without Spock, whereas the thought of no more Discworld novels hits home all too easily. (Then again, maybe it's just lack of sufficient sleep making me feel more vulnerable to such things. Unlike Nimoy's greatest creation, I do not have control over my emotions.)

Dammit. Talented, likeable people who bring us, or help to bring us, wonderful, meaningful, entertaining stories should not be allowed to leave us, slow or fast.

Currently, In March

Current clothes: The same brown t-shirt from Uluru I was wearing last month. Blue long-sleeve denim shirt over it. Nearly new blue jeans. Not at all new brown leather boots.

Current mood: Kinda tired. I was up earlier than I should have been this morning. Although the nice brisk walk I just took helped a little.

Current music: Nothing at the moment. Instead, I've just been listening to someone read me a Lovecraft story. Y'know, so much of Lovecraft's stuff was over-written to the point of reading like self-parody, but "The Colour Out of Space" is genuinely good. It's a little slow to get going, admittedly, and takes entirely too long to wrap up. But it's marvelously, effectively creepy.

Current annoyance: Having to interact with other human beings, when my impulse is to hide from them all instead. But I think I have been doing a remarkably good job of pretending to be socially functional lately. Also, having to work for a living. I had five days in a row off last week, which is a rare occurrence. It's great when it happens, but when it's over, it inevitably just leaves me longing to return to that brief taste of what life would be like if my time were entirely my own. Sigh.

Current thing: Attempting to be a responsible adult and do responsible adult things. I have been doing OK at this. Not great, but OK.

Current desktop picture: Still Uncle Iroh from Avatar. Iroh is my new role model.

Current book: Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All by Paul A. Offit, an extremely good, extremely informative book about a subject that should not be nearly as controversial as it is.

Current song in head: "The Witch's Promise" by Jethro Tull. Which has now been stuck in my head long enough that I'm starting to feel desperate to get rid of it.

Current refreshment: Nothing, but I need some lunch now.

Current DVD in player: I've got the first disk of Futurama Vol. 8 in the player in front of the treadmill, because I really need to get back into watching-and-walking. In the one in the living room is the first disk of season 3 of Key & Peele. It was supposed to be season 2, but Netflix doesn't have that for some reason. Well, whatever. It's not like it's a show you need to watch in order, anyway. To be honest, Key & Peele frustrates me a little, because I find their humor varies wildly, from hilarious to annoyingly unfunny and back, sometimes in the space of a single sketch. And I actually find their on-stage bits funnier, overall, than this skits, and wish they were longer. I would happily watch a full half-hour of those guys doing standup.

Current worry: I'm trying not to.

Current thought: Indeed, rather than worrying I am going to take some advice from my new role model and, when in doubt, have a nice cup of tea.

Sort of a Random Links Post

This Twitter feed is my new favorite thing. Unless maybe it's this Tumblr.

He Lived Long And Prospered

There are some people whose work is so much a part of our lives that it seems inconceivable that they might ever one day not be around. Leonard Nimoy is -- was -- is one of these people. Dammit.

Now I'm Cookin' With Gas! Well, I Was Before. But Now I'm Doing It Better.

So, I still haven't replaced my living room furniture, which has literally had the stuffing clawed out of it by cats, or even started looking into having my deteriorating concrete replaced. But I have a new stove! I finally got fed up with the old one when the second burner on it stopped working. But, really, it should have been replaced years ago. Y'know, when the metal on the stovetop starts to chip and crumble away, that's a sign your stove is getting a little too old. Plus, it's an annoying stove. The temperature dial only has a few random values marked on it, leaving you to guess at the rest, and the burners have big ol' holes through which debris can fall into an area that's damn near impossible to clean. But! But my new one has a digital display that tells you the temperature! And a timer! And an automatic preheat! And should be really easy to clean!

Tonight, I shall make celebratory tostadas. I shall crisp the tortillas in my new oven (which is easier and probably healthier than frying them) and brown the ground beef on my new burners, and, lo, it shall be a glorious Mexican feast!

Time Machines And Teeth

My latest annoyance: last night I was happily munching on a piece of bread -- bread, mind you, and not even stale bread -- when I suddenly found myself thinking, "Huh, that bit of bread was unusually crunchy." Followed by, "Huh, I suddenly seem to have less chewing surface left to eat this bread with." Or something to that effect, but less coherent.

Yep, that's right. I broke a chunk off my tooth. Aaargh. Fortunately, they were able to fit me in at the dentist today, and I was able to get someone to cover for me at work. (Because, of course, this sort of thing never happens on my days off.) Even more fortunately, it turns out I didn't need a crown this time; they were able to rebuild the missing tooth chunk with a bit of metal and some filling. Still, that was not so much fun. They gave me so much novocaine my eye went numb, and now that it's finally wearing off, my mouth is starting to protest the manhandling. Stupid teeth.

Well, to cheer myself up, I'm going to watch my new favorite video a bunch of times.



Is that not amazing? Seriously, new favorite video ever.

February Currentlies

Current clothes: Blue jeans. A brown t-shirt from Uluru, Australia. White socks.

Current mood: Not too bad. A little tired, maybe, which isn't great, since I have to switch over onto night shifts soon. But, overall, fairly relaxed and upbeat.

Current music: Victims of the Modern Age by Star One. This is a Dutch metal band that writes songs about science fiction movies (and the occasional TV show). It is, of course, impossible for this not to be awesome. (I do think this one isn't quite as awesome as their first one, but then, how could it be? There is no Blake's 7.)

Current annoyance: Ants. My evil six-legged nemeses!

Current thing: I have been getting a fair amount of stuff done lately, since I've had a bit more time and some actual money. (Example: my front doorbell now works for the first time in months! Many, many months.) And when I'm not attempting to be productive, I'm playing The Sims 4. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of productive. Thus do I achieve balance in my life.

Current desktop picture: This picture of Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Because Iroh is the best.

Current book: You Can Date Boys When You're Forty by Dave Barry, who never fails to be funny.

Current song in head: It's been something of a random mishmash lately, but for the last few days, nothing seems particularly inclined to stick.

Current refreshment: Peach tea.

Current DVD in player: Nothing at the moment, but most recently the second disc of season 5 of Archer.

Current worry: That I will lose my war against the ants. Which, even apart from the possibility of them eating my house, will mean that I cannot get my drippy bathtub faucet fixed, because I cannot ask the plumbers to work inside a wall that is crawling with ants. I think that would be entirely too much to expect.

Current thought: My mind just went completely blank.

Sigh.

After all that money to fix my roof, it is leaking. Again. Around the skylight. Again. Also, either the ants came back or never entirely went away, because there is a giant, crawly mass of them living in the wall behind my bathtub.

These things can be dealt with. I hope. But, man, I am tired of dealing with things. I am tired of adult responsibilities and long lists of things to do, and my inner child just wants to throw a whiny-brat tantrum about it. "I don't wanna! I don't wanna! My life is so haaaaaaaaard!" Shut up, inner child.

Well, at least I have this woman telling me I shouldn't feel guilty about having so many unread books:



Although I can't help thinking that maybe she really doesn't mean this many.

Glasses Update

...Except now I have a crick in my neck from trying to watch TV while lying down, because I practically have to point my chin at the floor to properly make out words on the bottom of the screen. Apparently the solution to this is, "Yeah, don't watch TV lying down, 'cause your glasses aren't made for that." DO NOT WANT.

Eye Eye Eye!

I finally have my new glasses, with the new progressive lenses. And they're not quite as freaky and disturbing as I kept worrying they would be, so that's good. Although it might be more accurate to say that they're freaky and disturbing in ways that are less constant and a bit more subtle than I was expecting. Looking at a computer screen is mostly OK. Staring straight ahead into the far or middle distance is great. Turning my head or moving my eyes too quickly can be quite unpleasant, though. And looking at my feet or the ground in front of me tends to yield unsatisfactory results.

Still. Tilting my head up and down to change things back and forth from blurry to focused is almost kind of entertaining to do, and I can see how it could become second nature rather than an interesting novelty, given a little time. And while I was coming back from the eye doctor's I even pulled out a book and tried reading while walking down the street. Turned out to be totally doable, despite some slight weirdness if the book jiggles around too much. Which is a relief; that was something I was expecting to have problems with.

Reading while lying on the sofa, which I only had the chance to try very briefly, did seem kinda tricky, just as the internet had warned me it would be. Which is not a great, as lying on the sofa and reading is basically my best thing. But it doesn't seem impossible to do in a comfortable way, just like it needs a little adaptation.

In the meantime, though... Well, my eyes feel kind of weird. And I wish they didn't. Stupid eyes.

My Exciting TV Adventures

So, I watched last week's pilot to the "SyFy" Channel's new Twelve Monkeys series. Or, rather, I watched maybe a bit less than half of it before reminding myself that I am not, in fact, contractually obligated to finish watching things that are boring me silly, and turned it off. Part of the problem is that, of course, it's impossible not to compare it to the movie, and it suffers a lot from the comparison. I know it's really not at all fair, but I kept finding myself thinking things like, "Boy, is this guy no Bruce Willis." And "Well, there goes the logically consistent time travel that set the movie apart from most of the genre. I knew it was inevitable, since it probably wouldn't be much of a TV show if there was no prospect of changing anything, but it still makes me a little sad." And, "Wow, does this thing need a Terry Gilliam. Or anybody with any sense of style and originality, really."

That last point is the killer, honestly, because it meant there was just nothing about it that remotely stood out as interesting. Not the characters, not the visual style, not the writing. The only thing it might have had going for it is the premise, if it had been able to provoke some sort of "Whoa, what's going on here?" reaction. But not only does that not work for anybody who has seen the movie version, or even who's read anything about the basic concept of the show, but even if you do somehow go into it completely ignorant, I think it quickly exposits away anything that might have been interestingly mysterious.

Of course, I know pilot episodes can be rough, and seldom give you a good idea of what a series will be like one it hits its stride. But if, twenty or thirty minutes in, it hasn't even given you any sense of future potential, that's a bad sign. As is making you feel bored stiff, even if you did start watching it in a grumpy mood. And I have zero desire to repeat the complete waste of time that was Under the Dome. I mean, I really should have listened to my instincts when they told me I might as well stop after that pilot. So... If 12 Monkeys miraculously gets awesome somewhere down the road, somebody come and tell me about it then, and maybe I'll give it another shot. Until then, that's an hour of my life I'm keeping.


In other exciting TV-viewing news, for those who haven't heard me talking about it elsewhere, I've been watching Avatar: The Last Airbender on DVD. (I'm just about to start season 3.) And, you know, I'd always figured all those folks who seemed to think that this was, at the very least, the best kid-friendly animated series in the history of TV were exaggerating. My mistake! It really is just about that good. Two-thirds of the way through (and with a sequel still to watch), and I'm already feeling preemptively sad about running out of it.

Today's Annoyance

Yesterday, I got a message on my answering machine saying my new glasses were ready. It was too late to go and pick them up that day, but I called the office that evening to listen to the hours given in their answering machine message so I could be sure they were open this afternoon. (Since the 21st century has not yet reached much of New Mexico, they don't have a website. Or even a Facebook page.) Then, after working all night, I shorted myself on sleep today so I could be sure to have plenty of time to walk there -- I didn't want to drive home in unfamiliar eyewear -- and for them to make any necessary adjustments. I spent the walk trying to psych myself up for the change, and saying goodbye to my familiar one-focus-fits-all view on the world.

Then I get there, and there's a sign on the door saying that, since they're short-handed, they're closed Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons until further notice. Thanks so much for updating your stated hours, jerks. And, of course, they're closed tomorrow. Screw it. It's gonna have to be Monday. I'm not doing this again on Friday, especially since I'm not going to get much sleep on Saturday, when I'm switching back off nights.

SIGH. I really, really want those two hours of sleep back. One pot of coffee is not remotely enough.

Some Book Stuff

Because I need to link to random bookish stuff here every once in a while: 23 Words For Book Lovers That Really Should Exist. Which is an awkwardly phrased title, as what they really mean is "23 words that really should exist for book lovers." But they are right. I personally am in desperate need of words for most of these things.

Also, I must mention Thriftbooks.com, the new danger in my life. Because... Cheap used books! So many cheap used books! With free shipping!!!! I tried to resist clicking the link to it. But I failed. And now I am doomed. Doooooomed.

The Turing Test Gets A Little Easier To Pass

Hey, good news for anybody who might occasionally want to comment on this blog, but who has been entirely too frustrated by the sometimes impossible CAPTCHA tasks.

A couple of people in the last month or so have told me they were able to comment without having to deal with one, which confused me, because I hadn't changed any settings, and hadn't been getting any spam. (And, believe me, the last time I turned the CAPTCHA off, the spam was awful.) Well, here's the explanation!

So since all you have to do now is to click a box, there is no reason not to talk to me. Got anything interesting to say?

My Car Is Mine!

Received in the mail today: the title to my car, all official, along with a letter acknowledging that I had paid it off in full. Man, that feels good. It feels like relief. Relief, and an extra $257 dollars a month. Hooray!

The Eyes Do NOT Have It. The Eyes Are BAD.

After putting it off for far, far too long, I have now been to the eye doctor, and I have an order in for a pair of progressive bifocals.

To say that I am worried and distressed about that, would, I think, be an understatement. It's not "Oh, I need bifocals, I'm getting oooooold!" I did have that reaction when the eye doctor first mentioned the possibility, but I'm long since over that. It's more that... Well, I am in my forties now, and you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks. The idea of having to change my visual habits -- which I am told that, yes, I will inevitably have to do -- is... it's hard to even conceptualize. "Think of it this way," the doctor told me. "It's a tool. And like any tool, you have to learn to use it. Like any tool, it has its uses and its limitations, and those have to be accepted." Which sounds like a good, sensible way of thinking about it, except... Except, it's not a tool. It's a part of my body. By which I mean not just my eyes, but also the glasses themselves. I've worn glasses pretty much every waking moment since I was six, and in my mind, they are a part of me. To ask someone, after four decades, to change how they use a body part, and how they use a sense... That's not an easy thing.

Everyone I know who has progressive lenses has told me that, after an initial adjustment period, they were absolutely fine. I am trying to be reassured by that, but... But when it comes to reading, everybody else is not me. Everybody else does not walk down the street with a book held up in front of their face. For example.

So instead, I try to comfort myself this way: when it comes to reading, nothing has ever been able to stop me. (Well, music and voices can interfere with the process of putting words into my head, but hearing is not the relevant sense here.) I can read in dim light, in moving vehicles, while walking... When I was young, I even used to read upside-down. So, I can read with bifocals. A little thing like having to relearn a lifetime's habit of where I hold things and how I move my eyes, that's hardly going to stop me. Right?

Now, driving, on the other hand, that might be a different story...

Five Armies, Considerable Waiting

I finally got out to see the third Hobbit movie today. And, man... I think it's debatable exactly how much of a mistake it may or may not have been to split this up into three movies, but what I can say for sure is that, for me, this one defintely suffered from the year-long wait between installments, and particularly from the choice to end the second movie right in the middle of the action and then to pick it right back up again in part three. I walked out of The Desolation of Smaug feeling excited (albeit frustrated), but by the time the theater lights faded out onto The Battle of the Five Armies, all momentum was long since lost, and it took me forever to get back into the swing of things again. Cliffhangers, I think, work way better on TV.

First Currently Meme Of 2015

Current clothes: Dark gray sweats. A t-shirt from White Sands National Monument (mostly black, with a narrow horizontal picture of sunrise or sunset over the sands across the chest). White socks.

Current mood: Fairly well-rested, for once.

Current music: Nothing in particular.

Current annoyance: Winter. This planet is entirely too tilted for my liking.

Current thing: Trying to stick to my let's-not-call-it-a-New-Year's-resolution New Year's resolution about eating better: three decent meals a day, with minimal, healthy snacks. So far, I'm doing surprisingly well at it. The key seems to be keeping myself distracted enough that I'm not paying too much attention to the way my body keeps telling me that it really, really wants to eat an entire box of cookies right now.

Current desktop picture: The holidays being over, I have just gone back to my favorite book-themed wallpaper.

Current book: Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. Which is moderately interesting, but mostly what I'm taking away from it is that Steve Jobs was a giant ass.

Current song in head: The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun." Wishful thinking, really. Well, OK, it's nice enough out today that we may finally be completely rid of last week's snow by nightfall. But then, I thought that yesterday, too.

Current refreshment: Nothing. I should drink some water.

Current DVD in player: The last disc of season 6 of Mad Men. For the longest time, I couldn't quite get what all the fuss was about with this show, but eventually it more or less converted me.

Current worry: My inheritance check finally came, which means that, for the foreseeable future, my financial worries have largely been alleviated. Which is an immense load off my mind. Now I can stop worrying about money and go back to worrying about my health.

Current thought: Thank you, Uncle Tom, for remembering me in your will. You may not have had any idea just how much of a difference it would make, but I am truly grateful.

2014: The Year in Books

It being traditional for me, at the start of a new year, to take a look back at the last year's reading:

I read a total of 137 books in 2014. That's actually a handful less than last year, which is a little bit surprising, since I figured that orgy of reading in the downtime after my surgery would make a big contribution to the total. But I think there was a bit of a bounce-back effect after that, where my reading was below average for a few months after I went back to work.

If you're curious to see what all I finished this year, you can find the list here (or here, if you prefer to see a pretty arrangement of covers).

Once again, my To-Read Pile was significantly bigger at the end of the year than at the beginning. I blame those darned library sales.

I did read a lot of good stuff this year, though. Here's my (somewhat arbitrary) best-of list:

Fiction:

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
The New Dead: A Zombie Anthology edited by Christopher Golden
Locke & Key Volume 6: Alpha & Omega by Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez
Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse
This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It by David Wong
Telegraph Avenue by Michael Chabon
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
The Blind Assassin by Margaret Attwood
Ancillary Justice and Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie
The Killing Moon by N.K. Jemisin
Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Non-Fiction:

At Home: A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson
Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error by Kathryn Shulz


Hmm. Bit light on the outstanding non-fiction there, maybe, but I think the fiction list is entertainingly diverse.

Now, my goal next year is to read everything. Wish me luck!

It's About To Be 2015?! Wow, We Really Are Living In The Future.

Well, here we are at the end of another year. I'm honestly not sure where this one went. It's all something of a blur, really.

As with every year, lots of things happened, good, bad, weird, and tumultuous. In my own life, I suppose the biggest change is that I'm ending the year with fewer internal organs than I started it with. The surgery and recovery were a lot of no fun, although, oddly, at this point it's almost difficult to remember it all, as if it were some sort of bizarre dream. I actually have to remind myself that, oh, yeah, that really happened, when it comes to things like my complete inability to bend over for a couple of weeks. In any case, I am very happy with the results. Not having a uterus is excellent. I don't know why I was ever issued with one in the first place.

Anyway. Here's wishing a very happy New Year to all of you (and your internal organs). If you're celebrating tonight, have fun and be safe. And may you keep right on having fun and being safe in the new year, as well!

Happy Holidays!

I hope all you Christmas-celebrating folks out there had a good one! Mine was nice. I got some lovely presents -- thank you, various awesome family members! -- and on Christmas Day I got together with some friends, and there was turkey and Doctor Who. And then we watched the last two episodes of The Prisoner, because everyone should have the gift of mind-blowing surrealism at Christmas.

And Now I Am Tired.

Yay, I am being Christmassy! Presents have all been wrapped and/or mailed off, including the Flying Dutchman Present, which did show up eventually and, with luck, will arrive at its final destination only a day or so late. My Non-Evil Fruitcake is currently in the oven, and, for extra Christmassyness, I managed to spill enough self-rising flour everywhere that for a while it looked as if it had snowed in my kitchen. Festive!

A Follow-Up

A follow-up to my previous post:

Hooray for some surprisingly classy customer service from the post office! Which, since I'm quick to publicly complain about them when they screw up, I figured deserved some acknowledgement. They sent me a boilerplate "We're sorry, we know you hate not getting your mail" e-mail, which is about what I expected. But the guy in charge of my local PO also called and, since I wasn't home at the time, left a long, informative message on my answering machine explaining exactly what happened and what they were doing about it.

He said he was able to get an image of the address label sent to him -- yay, technology! -- and the address was perfectly correct and legible, so the sender isn't to blame on this one. What happened, apparently, is that the postal clerk at the point of departure entered my zipcode as 78710 rather than 87801, meaning the barcode label on the thing was wrong. Which... is a pretty imaginative typo. Man, that person must have been having a really bad day. I'd be annoyed at them, but, honestly, if I were a postal clerk at this time of the year, I can't help but suspect I might have a few days that bad, myself.

Anyway, I was assured it would make its way to me soon, and sure enough, checking the tracking info now shows it as being here in Socorro, much more quickly than I was expecting. I should presumably have it in the mail tomorrow, which might even mean I can get it where it belongs by Christmas, assuming no more snafus. Yay! And even if it is late, well, the person it's going to used to work for the post office. She totally understands.

Behold, The Christmas Yo-Yo!

It's not really the holidays unless something goes hilariously wrong, right? This year's example:

I bought a present for a family member on ebay, early in the month. The seller mailed it off quickly, and the estimated delivery date was Dec. 12. Just enough time for me to feel fully confident I could get it, wrap it, and send it along to its distant recipient in time for Christmas.

Allow me to share with you the tracking info for this package, as of today. Keep in mind that Albuquerque is the correct place to send it; that's where mail usually comes before being sent out to my local PO. Note, also, that Austin is about 700 miles away from me.

Friday, Dec 19, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Processed through USPS Sort Facility
Wednesday, Dec 17, 2014 ALBUQUERQUE , NM Departed USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 17, 2014 ALBUQUERQUE , NM Arrived at USPS Facility
Monday, Dec 15, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Departed USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Out for Delivery
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Sorting Complete
Saturday, Dec 13, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at Post Office
Friday, Dec 12, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Departed USPS Facility
Friday, Dec 12, 2014 AUSTIN , TX Arrived at USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014 CITY OF INDUSTRY , CA Departed USPS Facility
Wednesday, Dec 10, 2014 CITY OF INDUSTRY , CA Arrived at USPS Facility
Sunday, Dec 7, 2014 CLEVELAND , OH Departed USPS Origin Facility
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 CLEVELAND , OH Arrived at USPS Origin Facility
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 UNIONTOWN , OH Departed Post Office
Saturday, Dec 6, 2014 UNIONTOWN , OH Acceptance

Yeah. Anybody want to place any bets on how long it's going to do this for? Or whether the Post Office will actually respond to the help request I submitted on their website?

I wonder who they tried to deliver it to in Austin...

(Also, the kicker? The item's ebay page said it was going to be sent FedEx. Probably the seller thought it wouldn't make a difference. HA.)

How Could I Resist The Time Lord Name Generator?

Your time lord name is: The Monitor

Your original Gallifreyan name is Jodtrisdanuarizadathene, or Jodtris for short. Back on Gallifrey, you led a dull and uninteresting life, working as an Assistant Librarian at the Patrexe Academy – but now, you travel Time and Space in search of adventure!
Your Type 66 TARDIS is currently stuck in disguise as a Coca-Cola vending machine, and your latest travelling companion is a bright-eyed, easily confused English teacher from 1968.
Get your own time lord name from the time lord name generator!

I can totally believe that as my story if I were a renegade Time Lord. Although I can't help wondering what exactly it is I'm monitoring...

The Last Time I Will Do This This Year

Current clothes: Gray sweatpants. Venture Bros. Guild of Calamitous Intent t-shirt. White socks.

Current mood: Good and relaxed and generally pretty happy. I've had the last five days off work, thanks to a lot of shift-swapping to accommodate people taking time off over the holidays, and it's been wonderful. Almost enough to make up for all the stupid hours I was working last month.

Current music: I don't know what that last song my iPod random-shuffled at me was. There's some odd stuff on there. Hang on, I'm going to look it up. Aha! Apparently it was "Atypura" by Yma Sumac, from The Big Lebowski soundtrack. There you go.

Current annoyance: The fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Man, there's nothing like having a few days off to make me wish I were independently wealthy. Or independently middle class. That would be fine.

Current thing: Listening to lots and lots of podcasts. I finally got caught up on the ones I was subscribed to, so I went and subscribed to a bunch more.

Current desktop picture: I have switched it to my traditional holiday wallpaper, featuring the TARDIS with snow on it and a wreath on the door.

Current book: Eight Little Piggies: Reflections in Natural History by Stephen Jay Gould.

Current song in head: "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode, "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift, "Every You Every Me" by Placebo and "Everything is Awesome!" from The Lego Movie are currently duking it out for domination of my neurons right now. It is making the inside of my brain kind of an interesting place to live.

Current refreshment: Peach tea.

Current DVD in player: Most recently, X-Men: Days of Future Past. Which was okay. It was fairly ridiculous, but mostly in the ways that superhero movies are supposed to be ridiculous. It did provoke a bizarre combination of reactions from me, though, especially towards the beginning, when I was simultaneously thinking, "Wow, this is a lot of exposition" and "Yeah, I'm sure if I were familiar with the comics I'd know who all these people are." It kept me modestly entertained for a couple of hours, at least, and not just because I kept staring in some kind of weird fascination at Peter Dinklage's amazing 70s 'stache. Mind you, it really needed more Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan, but you could probably say that about any movie.

Current worry: I have stopped worrying for the moment, slipping instead into a pleasant, comfortable state of apathy.

Current thought: New episode of Once Upon a Time coming up shortly. Woo-hoo! (Yes, I am a very easy person to please.)

This Is Why I'm Not Leaving The House Today

A humorous fake movie trailer, apropos of the day:

Look, I'm Blogging!

I have been neglecting this blog horribly again. Partly that may be because I've been neglecting everything horribly. I seem to not be doing very much besides working and sleeping lately. Winter is definitely here now, and my body just wants to go right into hibernation mode. As for working, my hours have been even stupider than usual. This is the first full day off I've had in more than two weeks. (Admittedly, some of those days I was only in for an hour or two. But still.)

Also, the things that strike me as entertaining enough to share with the world are things I suspect the world might have a differing opinion about. Like the following possibly TMI-ish observation: Since my hysterectomy, the local grocery store has continued sending me coupons for tampons, which, I confess, I have taken great glee in ripping up and throwing in the trash. (Free! I am free! Never shall I be subject to such things again!) But then, earlier this month, it gave me a coupon for diapers instead. WRONG ASSUMPTION, STORE! Also, that's kinda creepy.

Possibly I should at least have wished a Happy Birthday to Doctor Who on Sunday. But I will do that now. Doesn't matter that it's belated, right? After all, what's time to a Time Lord? The show has now been around for 51 years. I find it oddly comforting, these days, to be into things that are older than I am. It lets me avoid the unpleasant jolt I get when I hear fully adult human beings say things like, "Oh, yeah, I remember that from when I was a little kid!" about things that seem to me to have started practically yesterday.

In other news, I think my Thanksgiving plans have fallen through. Which I feel worse about on behalf of the people I had plans with -- deprived of my Thanksgiving dinner company! -- than for myself. Especially as I fear I may be coming down with a cold (which may be skipping all the usual preliminaries and heading directly for my chest this time, although I hope I'm wrong about that) and might be better off just going with the hibernation impulse. Anyway, new plan: buy a small turkey breast if the store still has any, or a chicken if they don't, and throw it in the oven. Then maybe watch Aliens, as a revival of the Thanksgiving tradition I tried to start a few years ago. (Quite what it says about me that I think Aliens makes ideal Thanksgiving viewing, I don't know. But, really, if we can't be grateful that we're not hosting alien larva in our bodies, we can't be properly thankful about anything.)

Anyway, that's me these days. Still not dead! I hope that is true of all of you as well.

This Post Is Brought To You By My Chilly Feet

Why is it getting so cold? It cannot possibly be winter yet! I'm not ready for winter! Bring back fall!

Yes, That Helped!

Doctor Who was, in fact, pretty awesome. Also, I may have had some rum.

I am way less stressed now! Yay!

In Which I Whine A Lot About Being Broke

Good news! The roofers are here today working on my roof, and if all goes well, at least water leaking in on me from above is one thing I shouldn't have to worry about again.

Bad news! Once they actually took some of the roof panels off, they discovered even more things that the previous roofers fucked up, and to repair everything properly is going to cost more than initially estimated. Rather a lot more. Which, considering that it was already going to cost me pretty much everything I had in the bank, is not so good.

But it does mean a new 10-year warranty on the whole roof. And they are going to give me 90 days, interest-free, to pay them the balance, which will be doable without too much problem if I put a good chunk of my regular expenses on the credit card. Again. Along with the new orthotic inserts for my shoes, which my insurance is probably not going to pay for, but which I need in order to, you know, walk. Unless I find a way to enjoy stabbing foot pain. Oh, and the new eyeglasses -- hello, bifocals! -- which I have been putting off for two years.

God damn but I am getting tired of digging myself deeper and deeper into debt. I am clinging hard to the knowledge that I should actually have some money coming in soon -- an inheritance from my uncle who passed away earlier this year, for which I am deeply grateful. We're not talking about a life-changing amount of money, or anything, but at least enough to help with this stuff. But I still don't know exactly how much that's going to be or exactly when it's going to be, and in the meantime I sit here hoping nothing else is going to fail catastrophically. (As opposed to the slow, gradual ways everything currently seems to be failing, that is.)

Bah. Now I've whined so much I'm even annoying myself. It's going to be OK, really. I could be way, way worse off, as far too many people are. But that doesn't make me any less tired of it all.

Man, the Doctor Who finale tonight had better be awesome. I can really use the cheering up.

November Currentlies

The way time is getting away from me lately, I'd better do this now while I'm thinking of it, or it'll suddenly turn into December while I'm not looking and I still won't have posted it.

Current clothes: A light gray Doctor Who t-shirt, featuring a picture of the TARDIS and a lot of scribblings in Gallifreyan. Blue jeans. Gray wool socks. Brown boots.

Current mood: I'm in a surprisingly good mood, and have been for days. I say "surprisingly" because I've got all kinds of things I could be stressing about, and it's not like I'm not thinking about them, but for whatever reason my brain has decided it would much rather focus on the stuff that makes it happy. I am so not complaining about this.

Current music: Pink Floyd and Weird Al Yankovic. Apparently the Pandora app on my phone ran into some kind of problem, and now that's all it will play. It took me a ridiculously long time to realize this, partly because I don't actually use Pandora much, but also because Pink Floyd and Weird Al seem to do a pretty good job of meeting my basic musical needs.

Current annoyance: Having a human body. As per usual.

Current thing: Uh... Focusing on stuff that makes my brain happy, instead of stressing?

Current desktop picture: It's still this one. I was going to change it last month, and never did.

Current book: I just finished Desert Solitaire: A Season in the Wilderness by Edward Abbey, which was a well-worthwhile read. Next up is Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie, which I'm very much looking forward to, because the first book in the series was terrific.

Current song in head: "The Scientist" by Coldplay.

Current refreshment: Diet Pepsi.

Current DVD in player: Disc 2 of season 7 of The Big Bang Theory. Ah, The Big Bang Theory. Never have I found a show's humor to be such a thoroughgoing combination of the irritating and the hilarious.

Current worry: Oh, you know, health, money, shelter. The usual.

Current thought: My new coffeepot, unlike the old one, does not beep to let me know it's finished brewing, or that it's been on too long and is shutting itself off. It's astonishing how unhappy this makes me. I can't shake the utterly irrational feeling that it just doesn't like or care about me as much as the old one did.

And When The Clocks Are Messing With Me Is Precisely The Time I Most Need My Coffee!

Also, apparently the time change was too much for my coffeemaker to deal with, because the clock froze up suddenly and now comes up with odd semi-random numbers whenever I plug it in or hit the on button. It constantly amazes me how many different ways these really very simple machines can find to fail.

The Clocks Are Fighting Me

Once again, the end of Daylight Saving Time has hit me at a point where I really need to be staying up later by the clock, meaning that extra hour works to my disadvantage. But at least I'm not on night shifts this time.

Still, just once, I'd like to experience the fun form of time travel, maybe by TARDIS or DeLorean, rather than just by switching time zones constantly without ever leaving home.

I've Just Got One Question For You, Punk: Red Or Green?

I'm going to a Halloween party tonight. Well, I think I'm going, anyway. This particular party happens every year, and almost every year so far, something comes up to prevent me going, to the point where, if I believed in such things, I'd half-suspect some cosmic force wants to keep me away. But so far, no bizarre obstacles have cropped up. Yet.

Halloween parties can be a bit awkward for me, though, anyway, because a lot of my friends are really into costuming and do amazing stuff at Halloween, and me? I can barely thread a needle. Basically, any skill that involves manipulating physical objects or creating anything visual, you can safely assume I'm going to be crap at. I'm much better with words. So my strategy generally is: put together a half-assed costume and find something. clever to say about it.

This year, the party has a local theme: "Weird New Mexico." Thus, I am putting on a cheap cape and a Zia sun symbol t-shirt I already happen to own (for reasons I've never been entirely clear on), and calling myself Captain Chile, New Mexico's first superhero. Why such a crappy costume? Eh, it's only temporary. I'll get around to doing a real one mañana.

I have been amusing myself, possibly a little too much, by coming up with details about Captain Chile. Like:


Powers:

Chile blast! Red from the left arm, green from the right, or, for particularly dangerous miscreants, it's Christmastime! Particularly effective when aimed at the eyes.

A brief but withering blast of hot, dry wind and intense sunlight, resulting in instant sunburn and bodily dessication.

The ability to create small, localized sandstorms.

Telepathic rapport with roadrunners.


Possible origin stories:

Swallowed a piece of trinitite.

Ate some mutant chile. (In retrospect, the way it was glowing and pulsing should probably have been a tip-off, but I just figured that meant it must be really hot and took it as a challenge.)

Toxic waste leak at Los Alamos.

Encounter with a mystical ancient spirit at Chaco Canyon during the summer solstice.

Bitten by a radioactive roadrunner.

Powers bestowed by Roswell aliens. (They're still there, you know. Some of them work at the UFO museum, in disguise.)

Secret government experiment at Sandia. I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to call the Men in Black to wipe your memory, and I don't want a repeat of last week.


Crimes fought:

Cattle rustling. (Well, OK, not really, but it seemed like it needed to be on the list.)

Overcharging people for crappy turquoise jewelry.

DUI.

Crane poaching.

Blue meth cooking.

Wasting water.

Saying, "Wait, there's a New Mexico?"


(And if you understood everything in that post, congratulations! You're a New Mexican!)

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

Geez, at some point, this blog seemed to turn into a place for me to complain about things. Mostly my medical problems. Gaaah! What has happened to me?

Well, I thought, you know, I should offset all this whining with some positivity. So, some good things today:

1) October is a beautiful month here, and today is a great example of that. The temperature is just perfect this morning, touched with a bit of fall crispness without being too chilly, and the sky is that perfect, flawless, intense shade of blue that you have to just keep staring at, because if you look away, you'll stop believing it exists. Twenty-five years in New Mexico, and I still have not gotten over that sky.

2) Speaking of October, yay for seasonal treats! I have caramel apples and Boo Berry cereal. Yum!

3) I stopped at Page One, Albuquerque's awesome indie bookstore, yesterday, and picked up a couple of books I'm really, really looking forward to reading. I now have so many great-looking books awaiting me. So many.

4) I am off work today! Admittedly, I have a lot of crap to do (which this blog post is maybe helping me procrastinate on), but at least it's my crap and not my employer's.

5) Also, it is payday! Yay, I can pay my bills! And maybe I'll finally spring for that Leonard Cohen album. Cohen always cheers me up. Strangely enough.

In Which My Dealings With Everyone Continue To Be Absurd, And Probably Expensive.

I went up to Albuquerque yesterday for an appointment with my podiatrist because I need new inserts for my shoes. The old ones solved my foot pain perfectly, but they're falling apart now, and it's coming back with a vengeance.

So, I go up and they x-ray my feet and stuff. Then they tell me that they would just take casts of my feet right then, but they need to get prior authorization from my insurance company. You know, I tell them, they covered it just fine last time, but even if they don't and I have to pay for the whole thing out of pocket, I'm still going to need it done, as suffering stabbing foot pain every time I walk really is not an attractive lifestyle choice for me. (Well, I may not have phrased it quite that way.) They told me, yes, but if you don't ask them ahead of time, they might decide not to cover it, just because you didn't ask. All right, then. Fine. I can make another appointment to do the cast. With my work schedule, I don't know exactly when, but OK.

Today, they call me and tell me the insurance company said they wouldn't authorize it. Which kind of angered me, because when they forcibly switched us onto this bone-crushing high-deductible plan, they assured us our coverage wouldn't change, and, again, it was covered last time. So I call the insurance company myself and ask about it. The conversation ended with this little gem:

Me: OK, I apologize if I'm just repeating things now, but I want to make sure I have this right. You won't pre-authorize it, but if they submit the claim afterward, with the reason it was medically necessary, you might or might not cover it?

Her: That's right.

Thank, Cigna. Thanks a bundle.

Just A Little Pinprick

Got my flu shot today. I've been trying to be conscientious about doing that of late, not just because the flu is no fun, but because it's good citizenship. People who don't get the flu can't infect other people with the flu, and thus we all avoid a real-life re-enactment of The Stand for another year. Right?

And apparently medical science has made great strides in needle technology, because I went in there with my eyes screwed shut and my body all tensed for the horrible invasive poking, and got what basically felt like a quick tap on the arm. It was so uneventful, I half wanted to accuse the guy of not actually giving me the shot after all (no doubt in order to pocket the stuff and sell it on the flu vaccine black market). But I'm not complaining!

Bibliophile In Denial

Me, six months ago: OK, that's it! No more library sales for me this year. The TBR shelves are almost completely full, plus, no matter how ridiculously cheap the books are, I really shouldn't spend the extra money. Not until I'm caught up, at least a little.

Me, three months ago: Well, maybe I can go to the local ones. But I'll strictly limit myself to stuff that's already on my wishlist.

Me, a week ago: I'm definitely not going to the one next weekend, since I have to work that night, and I should be asleep for most of the time that it's happening.

Me, yesterday: Then again, maybe I'll just duck in for the last hour or so and have a quick look through whatever's left.

Me, today: wakes up at 8:30 AM, goes to sale, and buys thirteen books, none of which are on the wishlist

Honestly, I don't know why I expected anything different. You'd think I'd know myself well enough by now.

October Currentlies

A little earlier than usual, perhaps, but what the heck.

Current clothes: Gray sweatpants. A t-shirt depicting the lifecyle of stars. White socks. Brown boots.

Current mood: I am trying very hard to get past the stress of the last few days. I think I may be about about sixty percent succeeding. Which is actually pretty good for me.

Current music: Nothing much. I have been looking longingly at the new Leonard Cohen album, but I need to limit my unnecessary spending at the moment, and have done way too much of it lately already. So I have sternly commanded myself to wait until the cash flow situation improves a little bit.

Current annoyance: The existence of other human beings. Also dogs.

Current thing: I may have just recently spent an entire week listening to 56 straight episodes of Welcome to Night Vale, which is now my new New Favorite Thing. For those unfamiliar, I will explain/gush about this show: It's a podcast that takes the form of a community radio show, featuring local news and events and such, but the community in question is the weirdest town on the face of the earth, a place where every conspiracy theory is true and the bizarre, horrific, and inexplicable are considered absolutely mundane. It's been described as the News from Lake Woebegone meets Stephen King (Or H.P. Lovecraft, or Clive Barker, or insert your favorite horror icon here), but while that maybe gives you an inkling of what it's like, I don't think it remotely does it justice. It's a fascinating combination of comedy, genuinely creepy horror, existentialist philosophy, and sheer surrealism. It also features surprisingly consistent continuity and character development, an actual story arc (eventually), a weirdly adorkable romantic subplot, and a more diverse cast of characters than you're ever likely to see on your TV. I'm not sure I recommend listening to 56 episodes in a row, though; it could have unpredictable effects on your brain.

Current desktop picture: It's still this, but I'm finally starting to think about changing it. I might need some Welcome to Night Vale wallpaper. Or maybe something featuring the 12th Doctor. I mean, if you can't nurture your fannish obsessions via the medium of PC wallpaper, where can you?

Current book: The Hidden Land by Pamela Dean. This is the second book in a kids' fantasy trilogy from the 1980s. The premise is good, but the writing mostly just irritates me. I can't help thinking I should have just stopped after book one, but I've got the rest of the series, so I feel like I might as well finish it.

Current song in head: I had breakfast at Denny's a little while ago, and "The Great Pretender" was playing on the music system when I left, so it's now stuck in my head, at least temporarily. Mostly because that song always pleasantly reminds me of my unreasonable fondness for the 90s TV show The Pretender.

Current refreshment: Peach tea.

Current DVD in player: Disc 5 of season 9 of Supernatural. I don't even know why I'm watching this show anymore, but somehow I can't seem to motivate myself to stop.

Current worry: I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING. EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. LA LA LA LA!

Current thought: Well, at least the ants finally seem to be staying dead.

My Possibly Even Worse Day

So, after the dog bite incident last night, I talked to my neighbor and told him I wanted proof the dog had had its vaccinations. Oh, absolutely it had, he said. But he couldn't find the paperwork. Or the tag. Gosh, the kids must have removed the dog's collar. Don't know where it is. But no problem he said -- and actually sounded very nice and accommodating -- if I came by in the morning after I got off work, if he hadn't found the papers yet, we could call the vet and get the proof. Great.

So, this morning, I go by the house. No answer. He's not there, or he's ignoring me. I give up and try to get some sleep. Four and a half hours later, I wake up, and try over there again. His mother-in-law is there, babysitting. She knows nothing, but I at least manage to find out their names.

I call the vet where they told me they got the dog vaccinated. The vet's office has a record of treating the dog, but say they never gave him any shots.

I figure I'd better go to the doctor, just to be safe. They can tell me whether I need a rabies shot or something. So I manage to get an appointment, and the medical professional -- I actually think she was a nurse or PA -- frankly knows less about rabies than I do. Seriously, actual snippet of conversation:

Her: So, I guess be on the look out for... I don't even know what the symptoms of rabies are.

Me: I do. And once you start experiencing them, you're dead.

Also, she asked me if I knew whether there'd been any rabies in dogs around here lately.

Not that it matters all that much, anyway, since they don't even have rabies vaccines. I'd need to call the state health department for that, apparently. She had no idea whether I ought to or not.

Both the vet and the doctor told me I should call the cops and/or animal control, that in a case like this, the protocol is for the dog to be quarantined.

I hadn't wanted to get the authorities involved. It's a very minor bite, I didn't want to press charges, I'm not a making-waves kind of person, but... OK. I called the cops, who told me to call animal control, who told me to call the cops.

A cop came out, took a picture of my bite, heard the story, and went over to talk to the neighbors. He then came back and said, "Well, she says the dog's been vaccinated!" -- at the same vet I'd called earlier. "She's going to get the paperwork from them. She also says the dog bit you because you chased it, and that you yelled at her daughter."

I then, as politely as possible, pointed out that the vet records she was referring to, according to the vet did not exist, that the dog was running loose, that it had bit me from behind, as was consistent with the position of the bite mark, that I thought it fairly natural to yell when you'd just been bitten by a dog, and that the woman in question wasn't even there at the time and hadn't seen it happen.

Anyway, he just kept repeating that she said the dog had been vaccinated. All right, I said, but what if she couldn't prove it?

The cop didn't know.

What would happen with the dog? Was someone going to quarantine or examine it?

The cop didn't know. But he'd seen the dog, and it seemed OK. (Which is interesting, because the guy told me they were planning on getting rid of the dog today, and then that they were going to take it somewhere last night.)

Was she required to provide proof of vaccination to the police? Would they call me back and let me know any information that might determine whether I needed a shot?

The cop didn't know. But, hey, she was going to the vet to get the records now, he said.

And what happens when they don't have the records?, I said.

The cop didn't know.

So, I said, it sounds like what's happening is that you're going to take her word for it and do nothing.

Oh, no!, he said. That wasn't true at all.

So what are you going to do?, I asked.

The cop didn't know. But if I wanted, I could pick up a police report in 3-5 business days!

But I need to know if I need a rabies shot!, I said.

Well, he could go over to the vet and check himself and come back and talk to me if I really wanted, he said.

I told him that would be great, yes.

And then he got an emergency call for something that I cannot argue sounded a lot more important, and ran off.

So, yeah. I think what's going to happen is jack and shit, other than my neighbors being pissed off at me for something that is entirely their own damned (and quite illegal) fault.

Anyway. The odds that the dog actually has rabies are exceedingly small, really. Of course, exceedingly small times 100% fatality rate still adds up to something worth taking seriously. But at this point, I do not think I am going to call the state health department and demand a rabies shot, especially if the dog is behaving normally, except for the biting-me thing.

Update: Just as I was finishing typing this up, the neighbor woman knocked on my door and said they'd taken the dog in for quarantine. She was mad at me, I was mad at her, but we talked things out, there was mutual reconciliation, and she swears the dog will not be running around loose anymore. I really, really hope that's true. I don't want to have to go through something like this again.

But, god. So much suck today. SO. MUCH. SUCK.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the pharmacy and pick up some antibiotics.

My Day

My day:

Woke up after six hours of sleep, feeling grumpy.

Got an e-mail from the roofers, who had told me they would let me know when they could schedule my roof work. They want to do it on a weekend when I'm working 12-hour night shifts, and nobody is available to cover for me. E-mailed them back, but did not hear back on whether they could reschedule.

Had coffee and a shower, tried to feel less grumpy. This was not helped by the fact that there were five small children standing in the middle of the street just outside my house having a screaming contest. As far as I could tell, all of them were winning.

Realized there was practically no food in the house. Went out for some tacos. Tacos make me feel better. Also, it would get me away from the screaming children.

On the way back from the tacos, which did make me feel better briefly, the neighbor's dog -- an annoying, vile mutt they let run all over the damn neighborhood -- ran up and bit me.

I want to do today over.

Fixing A Hole Where The Rain Gets In

So, I've finally had the new roofer out to take a look at things. According to him, the reason why I'm getting leaks is obvious enough: basically, the roof was installed with a lot of corner-cutting and does not have the flashing it needs. (In fact, he says, the only reason I'm not getting a lot more leaks is because they installed the new pro panel roof over the existing shingles, which are still providing some protection.) Under other circumstances, I'd be a lot warier of "Oops, you don't need a small repair, you need something major installed!" as a verdict, but this, sad to say, is honestly about what I was expecting. Plus, they'd warranty the new work for another ten years, and, just based on a side-by-side comparison of the customer service levels I've seen so far, they seem infinitely more likely to actually make good than the original roofers, whose idea of fixing things appears to be solely limited to applying one more layer of caulk every time they come out. Not to mention the novel concept of actually communicating with me.

And in return, they want... Well, pretty much exactly every penny I could realistically scrape together right now without going too much deeper into debt. Sigh. But if it means I can fix this problem once and for all, and never have to deal with the other guys again, it's probably worth it.

Arrr!

It be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Arrrr! I be needin' the distraction.

I Am At War With The Ants, And My Potential Allies Suck.

Oh, my god, how annoying is my life right now? Because on top of the leaky roof, there's also the ants. Let me tell you the saga of the ants!

Apparently the damned things built a nest right under my concrete slab floor and were coming up through tiny cracks in the floor and between the tiles. I know they were nesting there, because they built a damned anthill in my floor. This is the stuff of nightmares. As in, I have had actual nightmares about this exact thing. *shiver*

So, OK, I kept my cool. I put down baits for them. So many baits. Baits of every description, to tempt any self-respecting ant. I put them under an inverted plastic tub to keep the cats out, which is good, because some of them were liquid baits, and they leaked, and it was pretty freaking toxic under there. The ants, however, did not seem particularly interested. They would wander around and into the baits, but not form the usual tidy ant-lines to haul the yummy poison away. Still, I hoped they were carting the stuff home and dying from it. And, eventually, after a couple of weeks, I stopped seeing so many ants. There were one or two, but I was hoping they were stragglers. So I cleaned up the toxic sludge, and I cleaned up the dirt the ants had carted up, and I sprayed around the inside of my house to keep the ants from coming back, and I sprayed around the outside of my house to keep the ants from coming back, and I sprayed the area where they were coming up, and I saw some dead ants there a few days later, but I was optimistic.

But... Nope. They found another teeny-tiny hole, and they are building another nest. I saw it when I got home from work today. Eeeeeeek!

Clearly it was time to give up and call the professionals. So I called Orkin. They're a big, reputable national company, right? I called them and they were ever so solicitous as they went about taking my credit card info and making me an initial appointment and signing me up for a bi-monthly extermination service (which, frankly, did not seem like a bad idea), and they told me they could have someone out tomorrow. Which surprised me, but, hey, awesome! So I made an appointment. And they I realized, wait, you idiot, you have to be at work at that time tomorrow. And then I played a lot of phone tag with them trying to change the appointment, and finally ended up making arrangements for someone else to cover for me at work so I wouldn't have to change it, after all.

Then, just after all that, I get a call from the exterminator himself. The conversation (shortened and paraphrased) went something like this:

Me: Oh, hi! You're probably calling to reschedule my appointment. Sorry for the confusion about that! Tomorrow will be fine, after all.

Him: Um, yeah here's the thing. I can't come out tomorrow. I'm not going to be down in Socorro until the 24th and 25th. The person who told you someone would be out tomorrow? Yeah, she's in Atlanta; they don't know how far Socorro is from Albuquerque. I travel around the whole state and only get out there a couple of days a month.

(Which, note, is not in itself a problem. NM is a big, sparsely populated state. Waiting for the person to make it down to your area is often how things go, and I wasn't actually expecting someone to be able to make it out right away. What is a problem is being chirpily lied to about it by someone who clearly doesn't have the information she ought to have. Knowing whether the time and day you're making an appointment for is even available seems like pretty fundamental customer service. Don't you think?)

Me: Oh. Well... This... is not filling me with confidence. But all right. We can do it then. Only I have to leave for work by about 3:30 that week, so it has to be earlier in the day.

Him: Um. Well, actually, I'm booked up all day, and I usually try to work in new customers at the end of the day, but if you're working nights... Well. Huh. Well... I'll call you before then. I'll try to shuffle things around. Maybe someone will cancel.

Me: As long as you're sure you can make it that day.

Him: Well, I am definitely making it to Socorro that day. Maybe someone will cancel.

Me: Wow is this unprofessional. I think I should reconsider my choice of exterminators.

So, um, yeah. I haven't officially cancelled with Orkin just yet, but I think I'm gonna call a local exterminator tomorrow. And then see if I can get Orkin to take me the hell out of their system. The guy swore up and down I wouldn't be charged if I told him not to come, but I fear there may be a distinctly Comcast-like snag-the-customer-and-don't-let-them-go vibe here.

Moral of the story: if you live in a rural area, Orkin's clearly a good company to avoid. Which is good to know, I guess. But... Sigh. I just want to live like a human being: dry and bug-free. Why is that so difficult?

Come Again Some Other Day! Preferably After My Roof Is Fixed.

What is this giant blob of green hovering over my state, and why is it not moving? Seriously, I know I live in the desert and we're never supposed to turn our noses up at free sky-water, but for right now, I think we're good.

Sources of Stress

Aargh, there are way too many sources of stress (not to mention expense) in my life right now.

First, there's the cat. A couple of weeks ago, Nova took a giant pee on the bathroom floor, right in front of me. Which is unheard of for him. Fearing it was a symptom of some urinary or kidney problem, I took him into the vet, where they did a bunch of expensive tests and said he seemed all right but had a slightly elevated white blood cell count in his urine, so there might be a touch of infection. They gave him an antibiotic shot, which wasn't quite the antibiotic they wanted to use, but I was worried about being able to get pills or liquid into him, because he can be... difficult. I brought him back in for a follow-up last week, and apparently his bladder actually looked worse, with crystals in the urine and still a higher-than-normal white cell count. So I had to give him pills, anyway. Also, new prescription food. Then, last weekend, he started throwing up all over the place and barely eating. So I took him back in first thing Monday morning. At which point, of course, he suddenly appeared to be absolutely fine. The vet figured his tummy probably didn't like those antibiotics, plus he was throwing up giant hairballs, so they gave me still different (and even more inconvenient) antibiotics, plus hairball medicine. Right now he's sitting here looking all innocent, happy, and fine, but who knows what's actually going on with him? I'm not even 100% convinced the peeing incident had anything to do with his urinary tract at all. I think, at 15, he may be going a little kitty senile. Sigh. Cats. I never asked for any cats, you know. Never.

And then there's the roof. Damned thing has been leaking off and on pretty much since I moved in here. I keep calling the roofers who installed it, and they keep coming by and doing things to it and swearing that this time it's fixed (probably), and it keeps coming back. Now it's also leaking in a new spot, and worse. I finally called some different roofers. They're supposed to come out to look at it and give me an estimate tomorrow. We'll see what they have to say. And, of course, the forecast says it's supposed to rain here pretty much all week.

Also, I have ants nesting under my floor. Or had. I'm not sure if I've managed to finally kill the damned things or not.

Basically, being an adult sucks. Even if it does mean I can eat pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner whenever I want, some days, I really do not think it's worth it.

September Currentlies

Current clothes: Dark gray sweats. My Star Trek:TOS t-shirt with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy that says "Beam me the hell outta here!" (Really, I should have worn this one a couple of days ago for Star Trek's birthday, but oh, well.)

Current mood: Kinda tired.

Current music: Nothing, really. But I'm finally getting close to caught up on my zillion-hour backlog of podcasts.

Current annoyance: Apparently Nova has crystals in his urine. So now he needs to eat special food for six weeks, and I have to figure out how to get an antibiotic pill into him once a day. Fun!

Current thing: My current thing was meant to be getting some major projects done around the house during my days off this week, but after much productive activity yesterday, I am now feeling tired, and the muscles in my back hurt a little. So I'm thinking maybe today may be less about climbing up on the ladder and cleaning the gutters, and more about lying on the couch with a book.

Current desktop picture: Still this. I may never get tired of it.

Current book: Biting the Sun by Tanith Lee.

Current song in head: Random snatches of some oldie that was playing in the Denny's when I was there eating pancakes a little while ago. I had such a craving for pancakes this morning.

Current refreshment: Just water, at the moment.

Current DVD in player: Disc 4 of season 2 of Elementary. I feel like I should have a lot to say about this show, but I don't, really. Well, I will say that I like the characters, and that the interpretation is different enough from Sherlock's, in interesting enough ways, that I definitely do think there's room enough in the world for both of them. Which is something I wasn't at all sure about when I started. My interest in the mystery-of-the-week plots is extremely variable, however, and it's not really a show I want to watch more than one episode of at a time.

Current worry: I am still only allowed to indulge myself in worrying at specific, designated times, for the sake of my sanity. Although I've been busy enough the last few days that I haven't really had the mental energy for worrying too much, anyway, which is no doubt a good thing.

Current thought: Despite the appeal of that "lie on the couch and read" plan, I still have a whole bunch of little things I need to get done today, even if I'm not doing any big things. Sigh.

Books: They Find Me Across Time And Space

A conversation I had yesterday:

My cell phone rang. On the other end, a friend of mine said, "I'm at Costco, and they have three books here you might like. So I wanted to ask: Do you already have them, and do you want them?"

Turns out it was three Doctor Who-related books, none of which I was familiar with. So I looked them up. Two of them seemed pretty cool, and Costco (of which I am not a member) was selling them cheaper than Amazon. So, "OK, sure," I said. "Pick them up for me, and I'll pay you back for 'em next time I see you."

My first thought after this was, geez, and people wonder why I have this too-many-books problem. I am surrounded by enablers! I am impulse purchasing books over the phone now!

My second, much belated but infinitely stranger thought was that I never would have imagined I'd live to see the day when Who was popular enough with mainstream American audiences that they'd start selling books about it at Costco.