So, I did, in fact, get quite a few major things done yesterday, even if my to-do list is still somehow growing instead of shrinking. The biggest thing is that I finally did something I'd been intending to do for at least the last year: I got myself into the Verizon store and bought myself a new phone.
I now have a shiny new LG G3, a good phone with a ridiculously bland and unmemorable name. So far, I am deliriously happy with it. Mind you, at this point anything would be a vast improvement over my old phone, which is nearly five years old and was low-end even when I bought it. Among other things rendering it very close to useless for most of what you'd actually want to use a smartphone for, it had so little memory that not only could I not add any more apps to it, I couldn't even let the ones that were already there update themselves.
I've also long since come to realize that I find very small screens entirely too annoying to deal with The new one has a 5.5" display, and, oh, man, that's approximately a 6,000-fold increase in usability for me. The keyboard display is actually large enough for me to type on it comfortably! It takes me more than three seconds to read all the text that fits on the screen! I can actually see what's going on in a video! Hallelujah!