Thursday, November 20, 2003

Search Request Thursday

Back by popular demand, this week's installment once again features my own irrelevant, smart-assed, or just plain stupid comments on the various search request phrases that have brought people here to this blog. Although why on Earth you people want me to keep doing this, I'll surely never know...

Anyway, here's the latest (and rather large) batch:

  • film apollo 13 fact from fiction: Actually, while it was, of course, a dramatization, I think that movie in general was remarkably historically accurate.

  • catastrophic size boobs and pics: Wow. I wonder how big they have to be to qualify as "catastrophic?"

  • comic verbosity: Well, I do at least try to amuse...

  • false tooth joke: I don't think I've heard that one.

  • cartoony pics of solar system: Hmm, there's a joke to be made here about Pluto, I just know there is...

  • Conner Trineer childhood: I seem to be getting a lot of hits involving this guy, and I couldn't figure out why, until it suddenly hit me: at some point, I spelled his name wrong. And now everybody who can't spell "Connor" is ending up here.

  • "Blake's seven" "andromeda" Alas, Andromeda started out promisingly Blake's 7-y, but it just didn't last.

  • avon campaign #2 + friends DVDs: Speaking of Blake's 7... I just can't see Avon being a fan of Friends. Heh.

  • lady porn sex mov mpg: Not sure any chicks you're likely to turn up that way really qualify as "ladies..."

  • fox family scares places on earth tv: Next week: Fox Family scares the Grand Canyon!

  • farscape background tiles: Ooh, I want some Farscape tiles for my kitchen floor!

  • pictures of all sesame street characters: Apropos of nothing, I just wish to mention here that my own personal favorite Sesame Street character was Oscar the Grouch.

  • "able to do the math" students science: Personally, I always found I had an easier time understanding math when I was actually applying it in a science class, rather than trying to learn it on its own in a math class. Not that you asked.

  • star trek porn troi cartoon: I always thought there was something slightly cartoonish about Troi.

  • vanishing point next airing on pacific time: I dunno. As they say, "Check your local listings."

  • guy sucks carrie ann moss toes: Well, here's hoping she washed her feet first...

  • pasttime porn pics: Hey, there are worse pastimes than looking at porn pics, I guess.

  • Why Don Quixote, was in favor of the war in the movie "Miguel de Cervantes" I wasn't aware that he was.

  • Futurama personality quiz: Hey, in all my compulsive quiz-taking, I haven't seen one of those! Probably just as well. I'd be hoping for the Professor and would doubtless end up as Fry.

  • buffy clips caleb: Hey, she did a lot more than clip him. Heh.

  • pics of celebrities in bathtubs: Is it just me, or has the tabloid mentality gone way too far?

  • How to teach hygine to young child by pictures: Because none of us can spell well enough to do it using words.

  • shy loner goths: Me, I was a shy loner nerd.

  • illuminati deluxe cards stats post office: I could tell you, but then I'd have to have you eliminated.

  • Simpsons Transcripts Election Treehouse: "Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!"

  • farscape cartoon porn: Ah, the unpublicized missing scenes from "Revenging Angel"...

  • chiana goth: Just because she's all monochromatic doesn't make her a goth.

  • Harveys casino bomb: Are we still talking about Farscape characters? Harvey says he's never bombed a casino in his life, although he is a bit proud of his help with [spoiler deleted].

  • big bird thanksgiving cartoon I already make a joke about Big Bird and Thanksgiving turkeys last time I did this, didn't I?

  • Thanksgiving trivia questions: Coming soon: the all-new Trivial Pursuit Thanksgiving Edition! (Hey, at the rate they're going, it wouldn't surprise me. Have you seen some of the weird-ass Trivial Pursuit games they've got out now?)

  • "evil shouldn't look this good" shirt: Oh, yeah, I remember suggesting that one for Servalan. Not that she'd wear it.

  • pics of balsa tower: Better snap those fast, before a good stiff wind comes along.

  • Harry Potter and relgious concerns: Hmm, "relgious" does sound like the kind of word they'd use in a spell in the Potter books, doesn't it?

  • dalek ornament: Deck the halls with Dalek plungers, exterminate, la, la, la, la!

  • Buffy "Nick Knight" crossover: No, don't do that! She'd stick a stake in him, and he's far too pretty too die!

  • Who was financed on the voyage: Not me. Which is a pity. I could use a little travel money.

  • funny thanksgiving turkey pilgrim pictures: Damn. I'm running out of Thanksgiving jokes to make.

  • "Jimmy Buffet" "look over my shoulder": *Peers over Jimmy's shoulder* "Watcha doin', Jimmy? Makin' margaritas? Can I help?"

  • children's teenage putdown joke: You know, most kids I've met haven't really been notable for the witty quality of their putdowns.

  • brodie childers naked: I've never even heard of this person, much less seen him naked.

  • Arwen All Nude Pics: Well, it makes a change from all those hits I used to get from people looking for nude pics of Legolas.

  • video game based screen themes: Because even when you're not playing video games on your computer, it should feel like you are!

  • jekyll critters expansion: Do they turn into Hyde critters when you expand them?

  • bunioned feet army: We are the Army of Bunioned Feet! We'd stomp you to death, but it would hurt too much.

  • maps of chinas deltas: Sorry. I've got a map of Albuquerque in my car, but that's about it.

  • Italy/leaning tower facts: It's a tower. It's leaning. HTH.

  • gallifrey recipes: Somehow, I just don't see the Time Lords as being very good cooks. Probably because, as aliens go, they're just far too British.

  • nude picture of guys: Big guys, little guys, short guys, ugly guys! We don't care! As long as they're guys!

  • WEAR A NUN: That sounds uncomfortable. And not just for the nun.

  • new buffy spinoff "2004": Hmm, I haven't heard anything about this. Anybody?

  • Describe your personalities in 3 adjectives: Is that one adjective for each of my three personalities, or three adjectives each?

  • "karen shaw" farscape: Heh. I did talk about how, on my first viewing of that particular episode, I had to hit the pause button at that point and spend several minutes going, "Oh, dear god, no!", right?

  • bunions feet blog: I've heard of keeping blogs for your pets, but keeping a blog for your bunions seems to me to be going a little too far.

  • "i got nothing" george seinfeld soul: George has nothing for a soul? Poor George. (I know, this is doubtless some well-known Seinfeld quote I'm not recognizing, because my viewing of that show was sporadic and not at all recent.)

  • "cleverest plot twists": I'm tempted to make up a Top Ten list for these, but I won't.

  • sims skins philip pullman: I suppose they mean sims skins for his characters?

  • calvin hobbes quote "laugh" "scary though": Hmm, I have a complete collection of Calvin & Hobbes comics, but, I must admit, I fail at identifying that quote, whatever it might be. No trivia points for me.

  • carrie ann moss vomit: Eww. That's much worse than the thing with the toes.

  • cocaine pics: It really isn't all that impressive looking. Or so television tells me.

  • halloween and boobs: Because every search request gets more interesting when you gratuitously add the word "boobs!"

  • Rocinante definition: That was Don Quixote's horse, wasn't it? Do I get trivia points for that?

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