Crushing on The Onion

Have I mentioned lately that I love The Onion? I mean, how can I not love stuff like this?

NERD HAS MOST OBSCURE CRUSH EVER

JACKSONVILLE, FL—The unrequited nature of area nerd June Manzo's crush on actor Peter Tuddenham, who provides the voice of piloting computer Slave on Blake's 7, is only slightly more agonizing than the process of explanation she must put herself through every time her media obsession is discussed. "He has this slightly sinister but dynamic way of speaking on the show, particularly in the 'Headhunter' episode," Manzo said, painstakingly describing Tuddenham to fellow science-fiction fan Bradley Preakniss. "When I hear his voice congratulating Avon on his 'consummate skill,' I just get shivers... Doesn't that ring a bell? No? Not at all?" Manzo's crush is surpassed in geekiness and obscurity only by that of Denver's Demitri Ostrow, who has a long-harbored passion for author Neil Gaiman's "fabulous" assistant Lorraine.

Mind you, I hardly consider that "obscure." And I think Tuddenham's voice was much more attractive as Zen then as Slave, although his performance as Orac had perhaps the most charm of the three.

And what does it say about me that three different people e-mailed me this article?