Search Request Thursday

Nice big batch for ya this time. Here:

ye cheese OR loin OR cloth "Text adventure" -stinky: I... really don't know what to say to that one.

head nurse can't handle a co-worker bully: I'm sorry to hear that. Do they maybe have some kind of ombuds program where she works so she could talk to somebody about the problem?

"dripping water" screensaver: Man, I think that'd drive me nuts. The leaky faucet in the bathroom is bad enough.

Faramir Boromir sneezing: Alas, an unfortunate orc allergy ran in the family of the Gondorian Stewards...

shopping teenager boobs: Well, I certainly don't think you can buy those at the mall.

hawthorne melville slash fanfic: "Ooh, Melville," said Hawthorne, "show me how your Great White Whale got its name, and I'll show you how I got my Scarlet Letter!"

mystery machine wallpapers: I'd have got away with some of those, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Bounty Towel Commercial: Messy Moment: Because some people don't get enough commercials on TV and have to go looking for them online, I guess.

JK Rowling nude fakes: Well, you're not gonna see those on her dust jackets...

ned flanders naked pics: The disturbing thing is, ol' Ned really does have a very nice body. For, you know, an animated character.

nude nazgul comics: I don't know which is more disturbing. The idea of a nazgul nude, or the idea of a nazgul doing standup comedy.

spanish speaking person pics: How can you tell whether they're Spanish-speaking from a picture?

candyland, racism: Yeah, the levels of discrimination against that little green gingerbread dude by all the other-colored gingerbread dudes are just criminal.

strengths and shortcomings of hidden cameras: Well, the strength is that you can spy on your neighbors doing interesting things. And the shortcoming is that your neighbors can press charges on you for spying on them doing interesting things.

humorous lotr pictures of arwen and eowyn on top each other: Wait, how do they manage to be on top of each other? I mean, surely one has to be on top and one has to be on the bottom? Or is that what makes it humorous?

naked man frog wellies: There are just so many interesting ways to parse that...

verisimilitude "red dwarf": I don't think verisimilitude is exactly the effect that show was going for.

Jenna avon sperm: Is that from one of the cut scenes on the DVD?

"paul goddard" farscape gay: I don't think he's gay. But it isn't really any of my business, anyway.

entirely of palindromes: If I were really clever, my comment here would consist entirely of palindromes. But I'm not.

cultural criticism (the handmaid's tail) (the 80's): Who knew changing one word in a book's title to its homonym could make such an incredible difference?

"critical analysis" of "battlefield earth" by "l ron hubbard": Dude, I think it'd be difficult to do an honest analysis of that book that wasn't critical!

definition of a true stoner: The true stoner has almost certainly not bothered to read to the end of this post, having, midway through, either forgotten what it was about or wandered off in search of munchies.