Thursday, July 17, 2003

We've Got a Nice Big Batch of Funky Search Requests This Time!

And here they are:

  • instant badass: Just add water!

  • gurps lexx stanley tweedle: You know, I did at one point keep saying that I was going to make a character based on Stanley Tweedle, possibly even for a GURPS game, but, doubtless to the relief of my fellow players, I never actually did.

  • movie library bookmobile future aliens: I have no idea what this refers to, but, I gotta say, it sounds like my kind of movie!

  • sneezing fanfic: Again with the sneezing!

  • naked marathon seattle: Do they really run a naked marathon in Seattle?

  • barbies heads: For some reason, this particular search request just kinda creeps me out. I think it's giving me flashbacks to that doll-mutilating kid in Toy Story.

  • bad habit nose hygine: Ye gods, that's worse than the sneeze obsession. And I have got to learn to spell.

  • search go expand sincere wrap warp watch video: Ladies and gentlemen, let this be a warning to you: do not drink and google.

  • pictures from my nude vacation: Nope, I just got my own vacation photos back, and I'm glad to say that the photo place did not mix them up with your nude vacation photos, as all the people in my snapshots are fully clothed.

  • nude pictures of Alan Rickman: Hmmm, what? Oh, sorry, I went a bit, uh, unfocused there for a moment... Ahem.

  • sample test questions verbosity: That's right, loyal readers, there will be a quiz to see if you've been paying attention to this blog! Here's some sample questions to help you prepare: 1) What kind of robot is Betty? 2) Who's the coolest Harry Potter character? 3) Why should you be watching Farscape? Please be sure and use a number two pencil and show all your work!

  • futurama "hidden messages": I hear that if you play the theme song backwards, you can hear the words "Fry is dead."

  • "answering machine messages" "three stooges": Leave a message! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

  • grannys with sex: Well, disturbing as it is to think about, I suppose having sex is pretty much a prerequisite for being a granny.

  • family pics "loose tooth": This sounds awfully "aww, cute," until you realize that they're only going to find complete strangers' "family pics." Upon which realization it instead sounds kinda disturbing.

  • nude star trek characters: Sorry, I still haven't completed my set of search requests for nude Farscape characters, and I'm not starting on a different show until I have.

  • Brownie Explosions recipe: The key is to get the flour-to-gunpowder ratio exactly right.

  • creepiest moments in Gaiman's Sandman: Hmm, well, the one that sticks with me is the "air burial," where the undertaker dismembers the body and leaves it on a mountain to be eaten by birds. Which I believe is actually based on a real practice from somewhere...

  • characterization in short stories how the minor characters help to understand the main idea: Listen, kid, attempting to get a search engine to do your homework for you is never a very good idea.
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