Adventures in Personal Hygiene

OK, so, I went to the grocery store today to buy some underarm deodorant, that being one of those things you really need to go and buy pretty much as soon as it looks like you're about to be out of it. Now, I normally get the kind labeled "unscented," because, you know, the whole point of deodorant is that I don't want my armpits to smell. Apparently, however, my chosen brand of deodorant no longer comes in simple varieties like "unscented." Instead there are a bewildering array of new "scent" options, including "ambition," "optimism," and (clearly aimed at a slightly different demographic from the first two), "berry sparkle."

I feel frightened and bewildered.

(In case you're wondering, by the way, I opted for the "ambition." I figure I could use some ambition, even if it's only under my arms. And it didn't really smell like much of anything.)