How I Spent My Sunday

I just got a new computer desk and chair. Which is a good thing, because my old desk was not only tiny, it had crappy ergonomics. If you put the monitor on the top shelf, it was too high, and if you took off the top shelf (as I did, leaving some very unsightly side bits sticking up), it was too low. I ended up using an old, dead 486 as a sort monitor shelf, but even that was far from perfect. And the chair was pretty much broken, what with the backrest leaning backward at an angle that would leave you staring at the ceiling if you put your weight on it, not to mention the fact that it was a major household project just to adjust the height.

The downside of getting a new desk, however, is having to assemble the damned thing. Oh, yes, what a fun day of furniture-assembly I have had! My guesstimate was that it'd probably take me about three hours. Instead, from step one (taking everything off of the old desk) to the point where I was willing to declare myself done for the day (reconnecting all the computer equipment) was just about six hours. And I still haven't sorted through all the crap I had to move off the old desk, and off the little plastic shelves that used to sit next to the old desk but had to be disassembled because they wouldn't fit next to the new one. And that may well take me another six hours. Seriously, this room looks like a tornado's been through it.

But, anyway, during those six hours I had plenty of time to think about computer desks and the process of assembling them, and since I need to do some typing to test out how I've got everything positioned, I'm going to subject you to all of them. In no particular order, then, Random Computer Desk-Project-Related Thoughts:

It seems to me that the assembly instructions that come with this kind of thing could make a really good spatial IQ test. I mean, they never give you enough information to figure out for sure exactly how to orient each piece as you fit them together unless you're capable of visualizing exactly where each piece will go in the finished product. Which, needless to say, I'm not.

On a related note, I'm not sure I see the point of providing six different kinds of screws, all carefully numbered in individual diagrams, if you're just going to draw them all so they look almost exactly alike in the pictures.

Come hour six of a project like this, when my back is killing me from all the lifting and hammering and my hands are getting all trembly and sweaty just when it's time to do the most difficult bits and I really, really want to just give up, scream in frustration for a little while, and then go and watch some TV or something, I find that I can only talk myself into going on by thinking about Star Trek. Did the guys on Star Trek ever give up, I ask myself? When the Klingons were attacking and the warp drive needed three hours of repairs done in fifteen minutes, did Scotty have the luxury of giving up and going out for a beer? No, he did not. "Be Scotty!" I tell myself. And, lo and behold, this actually works.

When it's too damned hot in the house and you're dripping with sweat from your exertions, it may seem like a good idea to strip down to your underwear to finish the project. This is, however, not necessarily a good idea if you are working on a carpeted surface and have to do a lot of sliding around on your knees. Uh, not that I would know.

Similarly, it is a bad idea to try to tighten a screw into something from underneath while positioned directly over an open heating vent. Should you foolishly choose to attempt this anyway, it is a very good idea to have extra screws available.

Oh, and you should always recharge your cordless drill/screwdriver as soon as it begins to show signs of losing power, to avoid having it crap out on you in the middle of a six-hour project.

My mother is apparently not in the least perturbed by sounds of hammering and occasional muffled swearing during a phone conversation. Or maybe she was just too delighted at actually catching me at home for once to care.

The cats, on the other hand, start feeling very left out when interesting thumping noises are coming from a room they're not allowed into.

While the monitor seems to be in a much better position on this desk, it's also considerably farther away. This is going to take some getting used to, because now all the text looks smaller. I've actually found myself thinking that clearly what I really need now is to get a bigger monitor. Thus does one expensive purchase lead to another, until we all wind up in the poorhouse.

I'm still not completely sure how I feel about the placement of the keyboard. I can't decide whether to leave it on the pull-out keyboard shelf or the desktop. I've never used a keyboard shelf before, and it feels awkward, as well as putting me still further from the monitor and giving me a longer reach for the mouse. On the other hand, I'm not sure I'm holding my wrists in exactly the right position with it on the desktop. Any suggestions anybody might have about proper keyboard placement will be gratefully welcomed. (You can even leave 'em in the comments, since they seem to be working again! Yahoo!)

Ok, given that most people are right handed, and that most right-handers like to put their mouse on the right-hand side of the desk, and given that mouse cords tend to be pretty short, whose bright idea was it to put the space for the CPU tower on the left side of the desk? I'm just askin'.