And Remember, "It Is Inappropriate to Kiss Anyone You Haven't Previously Held at Gunpoint."

Via Snarkcake, it's The X-Files Etiquette Handbook, with lots of wise advice for how to get along in the big, weird world of government conspiracies and alien abductions. I imagine it's probably even funnier if you're a bigger X-Files fan than I am.

Here's a sample, on "introductions":

In this era of blended families, it is permissible to refer to half-sisters or step-siblings, but it is not necessary to detail the exceedingly personal such as "This is my half-sister by my mother and my arch-enemy" or "This is the test-tube human-alien hybrid developed from one of my ova".