Sunday, January 02, 2005

And What's the Stupidest Thing You've Done Today?

I was cleaning out my pantry a little while ago, and I found some cans of tuna. Possibly very, very, very old cans of tuna.

So, I stood there for a moment, holding a dusty can of tuna in my hand like Hamlet contemplating Yorick's skull, then proceeded to have a little conversation that went something like this:

Me: Eww! This tuna is ancient. I think I'm afraid of it. Right, we're throwing this away.

Voice in my head: But it's in a can. Isn't canned food supposed to be good, like, forever? Isn't that what we're supposed to be eating after the apocalypse?

Me: I don't care. It's fish. The newest can is probably at least a year old. I'm not eating it.

Happiness-kitty: Oooh! I recognize that can! It's tuna! You've got tuna! Oooh, tuna, tuna, tuna! Can I have some? Please? Pleeeeeese?

Me: Hmm. Is it morally wrong to give food to my cats that I'd be afraid to eat myself? It is, isn't it? It's wrong.

Voice in my head: You give them cat food, and you wouldn't eat that.

Me: Good point. In a dubious-logic kind of way.

Kitty: Pleeeeeeease!

So, OK, I gave them tuna. Hey, it smelled all right. Or, at least, it smelled like tuna.

Several minutes later, I made three interesting discoveries: 1) A cat's stomach can hold a truly remarkable amount of tuna. 2) Vomited-up tuna is possibly the most vile substance on the face of the Earth. 3) It is, in fact, wrong to give your cats food you'd be afraid to eat yourself, for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with morality.


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