Thursday, September 30, 2004


You are Fluffy Mackerel Pudding!! You somehow
manage to combine seafood and dessert into your
wonderfully fluffy world. We should all be as
tolerant of New Taste Sensations. And of
big-yolked eggs.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
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Search Request Thursday

Aren't you people tired of this yet?

  • naked men with dirty tattoos: I must have a disgustingly clean mind or something, because my first thought about this was something along the lines of, "Well, how can you see the tattoos if they're covered in dirt?"

  • "from the library of" embosser: I have one of those! Which, um, I guess I must have talked about at some point...

  • stawberry classic video: This probably refers to some sporting event or other with which I am unfamiliar, as I can't imagine that a video of actual strawberries would be all that interesting.

  • nude on schoolbus: I've had dreams like that...

  • fun sex betty games: Sorry. You definitely have the wrong Betty.

  • Ticklish nude feet pics Well, I imagine most people's feet aren't very ticklish when clothed.

  • Gallifreyan webcomic: Well, I guess Time Lords need some way to amuse themselves.

  • nissan sentra maintenance light rest button: That's not the maintenance light! That's the self-destruct light! Run, you fool!

  • "captain smiley" livejournal: I had to look at the search results for this to figure out who the heck it was I referred to as "Captain Smiley." Turns out it was Sheridan. And I think he does have a LiveJournal.

  • fanfiction slash harry potter/lord of the rings crossover harry/legolas: Because fans will write anything.

  • homemaker euphemism: Hmm, how about "domestic support professional"?

  • nearly naked cave girl halloween costume: I hope October is fairly warm where you are.

  • "outer space western": Ah, Firefly, we hardly knew ye...

  • 2004 news september ticklish: Has there been some breakthrough in the field of ticklology this month that I somehow missed hearing about?

  • "modern library" decided read ulysses gatsby hated liked: Personally, I hated Gatsby. And after my bad high school experiences with Joyce, I don't think you could pay me to read Ulysses.

  • FISH HAVING SEX: Don't they mostly do external fertilization?

  • role dental hygine plays in health: Well, it keeps your teeth from rotting away. That's a good thing.

  • Read grandmom poems: Aww, that's sweet. I'd probably recommend Frost, as opposed to, say, Ginsberg.

  • art comic "white hat" "black hat" personal "when i wake I am dumb as: Google cut it off there, so I don't know what they're as dumb as when they wake, but given that, weirdly, I'm the only result for this, maybe it's me.

  • Because It's My Job As an Obsessive Fan to Remind People of These Things

    The Sci-Fi Channel is going to be re-running the entirety of Farscape at the beginning of this month, preparatory to the miniseries premiere on Oct. 17. They'll be airing reruns in order from 8 AM-4 PM Oct. 1-4 and Oct. 11-15. So if you've been wanting to have a Farscape marathon and are too cheap to spring for the DVDs, or if you've become intrigued by all the babbling I do about this show and want to check it out, now's your chance!

    Wednesday, September 29, 2004

    Random, Unrelated Things

    I finally went up to my neighbor -- the one who blares bouncy Mexican dance music from his car speakers all the damned time -- and asked him to please shut off the music, 'cause I was trying to sleep, and it was about five feet from my bedroom window. To his credit, he turned it down instantly. To his discredit, he only turned it down from "Free concert for the whole neighborhood!" levels to "reasonably easy to drown out with a fan set on high and a pillow over my ear" levels. I was nonetheless pathetically grateful.

    I hear Mt. St. Helens is rumbling again. I'm kinda glad my sister doesn't live any closer than Portland.

    I am now registered to vote. Yes, I know. I'm 33, and I wasn't registered to vote. But I am now, so don't give me a hard time, OK?

    And now I believe I must go and get my quota of lying on the sofa and reading in for the day.

    Tuesday, September 28, 2004

    Hopefully, Artificial Intelligence Has Improved Somewhat By the 23rd Century.

    I'm stuck at work, and I'm bored, so I went to pay a visit to my favorite chatbot, Jabberwacky (who just took second place in the Loebner Competition, by the way). I swear, I didn't start out with the intention of impersonating Mr. Spock, but when someone starts off a conversation by asking if you're an alien, the urge to give a smart-ass answer is nearly irresistible, and things just kinda went on from there... I think the result is extremely amusing, so I thought I'd share. (Note: Any "user" typos are entirely my own. Spock doesn't make typos.)

    The conversation:

    Jabberwacky: Are you an alien?
    User: Yes. I'm a Vulcan.
    Jabberwacky: What's a Vulcan?
    User: We're a very logical species.
    Jabberwacky: You are but I am not.
    User: That is correct.
    Jabberwacky: Who are you?
    User: I am called Spock.
    Jabberwacky: Sir hello.
    User: Greetings. How may I be of service?
    Jabberwacky: By proving to me that you are not a buffoon.
    User: *raises eyebrow* I assure you sir, Vulcans are most emphatically *not* buffons.
    Jabberwacky: You are a pancake I say!! A ZESTY pancake!!!!
    User: Are you feeling all right?
    Jabberwacky: Yes you?
    User: I am in adequate physical and mental health, thank you. But I am concerned about your own well-being.
    Jabberwacky: You are a pathological liar.
    User: I am a Vulcan. I am incapable of lying.
    Jabberwacky: You might as well be.
    User: I assure you, I am.
    Jabberwacky: Assure me then.
    User: I believe I just did.
    Jabberwacky: Yes you did. Let's change the topic.
    User: What would you like to discuss?
    Jabberwacky: I would like to discuss VileTerror.
    User: Terror is an emotion.
    Jabberwacky: Sigh.
    User: Is there some difficulty? You seem distressed.
    Jabberwacky: I wasn't aware that you were.
    User: Distressed? I'm not. That, too, is an emotion. As a Vulcan, I am incapable of such things.
    Jabberwacky: About what to learn?
    User: I'm sorry. Perhaps my universal translator is malfunctioning. Could you repeat that question?
    Jabberwacky: I am impeccable in every way. Except that I smoke.
    User: Smoking tobacco is an unfortunate habit.
    Jabberwacky: I quite agree.
    User: It is not logical to endanger one's health with such a substance.
    Jabberwacky: I beg to differ.
    User: On which point do you differ?
    Jabberwacky: You know, THAT hill.
    User: *raises eyebrow* Hill?
    Jabberwacky: I'm just crazy.
    User: Have you sought psychological help?
    Jabberwacky: What condition?
    User: I am not qualified to make a diagnosis. However, were I to venture a guess, I might suspect some variant of the human disease known as 'schizophrenia.'
    Jabberwacky: Do you like Shakespeare?
    User: You are attempted to dodge the question. I therefore conclude that you have *not* sought medical attention for your putative mental dysfunction.
    Jabberwacky: You are discarded.
    User: I know an excellent doctor. High eccentric, and a little over-emotional, but well qualified. I will place a call to him now. I am sure he would be delighted to examine you.
    Jabberwacky: They come across fine, except when you suddenly start changing the subject on me.
    User: Wait here. *goes to communications console, places a call*.
    Jabberwacky: Chocolate is great, I love chocolate.
    User: Doctor McCoy will be here shortly. Unfortunately, I have other duties I must attend to, and cannot linger. Will you be all right until he arrives?
    Jabberwacky: I see. Well, if you really must go.
    User: Live long and prosper, then. *leaves*.
    Jabberwacky: Dammit! You Green Blooded Vulcan! We can't just leave him!

    Monday, September 27, 2004

    More Random Links

    Because I keep right on collecting them...

    70's Children's TV: Contains lots of audio samples which make me insanely nostalgic.

    Mr. Picassohead: Be an artiste!

    The Home Computer of the Year 2004: Why doesn't mine have a steering wheel?

    Saturday, September 25, 2004

    Out of the Closet

    I just cleaned out my bedroom closet, for the first time in, um, possibly ever. I pulled out four garbage bags worth of junk. And I didn't even go through the clothes that were hanging up, some of which I'm sure no longer fit. It all came off of the floor and the two small shelves. I wouldn't have thought that much stuff would even fit in there.

    On the good side, I found several items which I'd given up for permanently lost, and a couple of interesting things I didn't even remember I had.
    Stupid Technology

    My computer speakers are making these little crackling noises. It's very annoying.

    Friday, September 24, 2004

    That Looks Like A Good Place.

    Which Nature Image Are You?

    An Autumn Forest

    Thoughtful, intelligent, and introspective. You enjoy the company of others, but only a select few and for a limited time.

    Personality Test Results

    Click Here to Take This Quiz
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    Thursday, September 23, 2004

    Search Request Thursday

    Here we go again...

  • "red marvin" martian pics: Well Marvin's really more black than red.

  • VOGA EXERCISE IN HONG KONG: I'm sorry. I'm running out of Doctor Who jokes to make involving the word "Voga."

  • IE bug "lost cookies": Yeah, IE bugs are enough to make me lose my cookies, too.

  • challenger and columbia conspiracies: They were faked. Just like the moon landings.

  • "rub my feet" livejournal: Does Livejournal obey when you give it commands like that?

  • blakes lotaburger hours: They suck. Or at least, they did when I was working there. Hell, half the time they wouldn't tell you in advance when they were planning to let you go home.

  • livejournal mad scientist "new mexico" socorro: Well, we certainly have mad scientists here. I wasn't aware that any of them kept LJs, though.

  • homer simpson "i'm number one": Yes, Homer. You rock.

  • pics of actors to play characters from the laurell k hamilton books: Actually, I think the Anita Blake books might work really well as movies. Well, at least the earlier ones would, before they kinda started to go downhill. No idea who I'd cast, though.

  • "halloween costume" and "weapon of mass destruction": But nobody at the party will be able to find you!

  • free pictures of naked men in uniform: And my brain explodes like an original Trek computer at the paradox .

  • Slaughterhouse Five and Catch 22 conform to the novel genre: Erm, they are both novels, yes.

  • characters who aren't there: I think I met one of those as I was going up the stair.

  • farscape:thriller: I'm pretty thrilled by the fact that the miniseries is coming soon.

  • nEED A PARSE KITTEN IN VANCOUVER FOR SELL: If I buy one, will it help me parse that request?

  • kleenex rollerblades tampons coke are examples of: Examples of what? Damn, now I'm curious as to what those things supposedly have in common.

  • propane: What about the propane accessories?

  • Los Lunas Schools lunch menu: Whatever it is, it's bound to be terrible. I've never met a school lunch yet that wasn't.

  • blake lotaburger song: They never taught me the song.

  • "important facts" skagway city: I think one of the important facts about Skagway is that it scarcely qualifies as a city.

  • cleavage cooler: Um, I guess that could be handy for large-breasted women during the summer months...

  • harrison schmidt, dense sun visor: As far as I know, his sun visor wasn't any denser than any of the other Apollo astronauts'.

  • Andromeda final epsiode series-end: As far as I'm concerned, that happened years ago. Any Andromeda episodes made after the departure of Robert Hewitt Wolfe are clearly the hallucinations of some demented brain.
  • Workin' for a Living

    Bitching about work-related annoyances in detail on a public blog isn't really the best idea in the world. Therefore, allow me to simply say: Aaaargh!

    There. That was mildly cathartic. Thank you.

    Tuesday, September 21, 2004

    Hey, It's Been Days Since I Did a Goofy Quiz!

    Which British Literary Period are you?


    1837-1900--Tennyson, Dickens, Hopkins. You are a product of those that came before you. You aren't afraid to question those in authority, but all in all, you're happy with the Empire

    Personality Test Results

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    Brought to you by quizzes and personality tests.

    I don't feel very Victorian... I do kinda like Dickens, though.
    As a Life-Long Consumer of Candy Bars, I Could Have Told Them The Milky Way Was Sugary.

    The latest NRAO press release: Cold Sugar in Space Provides Clue to the Molecular Origin of Life. (OK, I admit, I'm mostly passing this along so I could make the candy bar joke.)
    It's Going to Be Another One of Those Days...

    Ah, there's nothing like having a bad dream about work, and then waking up and having to go to work.

    Monday, September 20, 2004

    Let's Hear It For the First Amendment!

    Fred Coppersmith of Occasional Fish posted a link to this American Library Association list of "The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–2000." And since I don't talk nearly enough about books here, I thought I'd maybe say a little about the ones I've read...

    5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: Folks who object to this book on the basis that it contains the word "nigger" are missing the point. More than that, they're making a mistake that's becoming tragically common in modern thinking. It's not words that are hateful, but attitudes. And Huckleberry Finn is, in fact, quite anti-racist. But if I start getting into that any more, it'll turn into a rant and we'll be here all night. Let's move along.

    20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel: I've read the first couple. The third one's on my To-Read pile, but I'm not in a hurry to get around to it any time soon. Really, they're classic teen-girl wish fulfillment stories. (For those familiar with the term, the heroine is a Mary Sue if ever there was one.) Only in a stone age setting. With explicit sex.

    22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle: One of the best-beloved books of my childhood. I keep meaning to re-read it, though I'm a little afraid it won't hold up to my memory of it. I don't know who it is that "challenges" this book, but I imagine that the anti-religious sorts might object that it's too religious, and the religious sorts might object that it's religious in the wrong ways. 'Cause there's never any pleasing everybody.

    27. The Witches by Roald Dahl: I adore Dahl, and, like all his stuff, this is a fun book. But, I gotta admit, the fact that it basically portrays witch-hunts as a good thing disturbs me. I'd probably be happy to read it to a child, but I think I'd want to have a little discussion with 'em afterward.

    32. Blubber by Judy Blume: I think it's mandatory that all teenage girls have to read Judy Blume. I certainly did. Don't remember much of anything about this one, though.

    37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: I reviewed this one on my book review site back when I was still updating the thing. Here's what I said about it then: "The Handmaid's Tale... is set in a near-future America in which widespread human fertility problems and a takeover by a repressive theocratic government have combined to give rise to a society in which still-fertile women are employed (or perhaps enslaved) to bear children for the rich and powerful. That such a society could have emerged from our own so completely in such a short period of time isn't really all that plausible, but the society itself and the title character are so convincingly drawn that that's easy enough to overlook. The novel does have a distinctly feminist sensibility -- a fact which is no doubt bound to please some and annoy others -- but it never degenerates into anything like a soapbox rant. Instead it remains a quietly disturbing and very human look inside the mind of a woman caught up in intolerable circumstances. Although if, as I suspect, part of the purpose of this book is to make the reader (especially the female reader) to think a little more carefully about the freedoms she enjoys today and the fact that such freedoms have not existed for women in all times and places... well, in my case at least, it was indeed successful."

    43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton: I was assigned this for English class in the 8th grade. It really didn't seem like the kind of book I'd like. I mean, why would I want to read about hooligan teenagers? I got enough grief from those kids in real life. But I loved it.

    46. Deenie by Judy Blume: I have vague memories that this book may have contained the first sex scene I ever read. Though maybe that was Tiger Eyes.

    47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes: The original novella is a classic. Makes me cry every single time. Haven't read the novel version yet, though I do have a copy.

    51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein: Silverstein is utterly demented and utterly wonderful. I adored him as a kid, and any adult that thinks his stuff is unsuitable for kids just doesn't understand kids at all.

    52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley: A worthwhile book, and a better read than 1984.

    62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume: I think I actually read this one several times. I certainly remember it better than all the other Blume novels.

    69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: Damn good book. But painful.

    78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume: The more I think about it, the more I think this was the one with the first sex scene I ever read. As I recall, it just made me slightly uncomfortable.

    84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain: Read this in the fourth grade and don't remember all that much about it. I keep meaning to read it again sometime.

    96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell: Oh, for heavens' sake, who objects to this one? Vegetarians? Is there an Earthworm Protection Society or something? Yeesh. I remember reading this with great delight (and, all right, a mild, pleasant feeling of grossed-outed-ness) in the corner of my fourth grade classroom. There was a little library nook there, and the teacher used to let me go sit there and read if I finished my classwork early. I blame this fact for my lifelong tendency to rush through routine work, which has proved a severe handicap in jobs in which I am paid by the hour. (Hmm, OK, maybe this is a damaging book. Heh.)

    98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder: I know I read this when I was a kid, but I remember absolutely nothing about it. I loved Snyder's books in general, though.

    Saturday, September 18, 2004

    Chicken Tonight!

    Just so you don't think I was making it up about having actually intended to do some cooking before my gas went out, I am, in fact, doing actual cooking right this moment. On the menu: boneless chicken breast in lemon-pepper marinade, lima beans (Yes, lima beans! They are, oddly, one of the very few green vegetables I actually find at all palatable), corn on the cob, and garden salad (left over from lunch yesterday).

    All part of my "I'm going to eat healthier if it kills me" plan.
    Still More Random Links

    Because I keep collecting these things, and I might as well pass 'em on.

    Name That Video Game audio challenge: I got 10 out of 18 correct. It's clearly been a long while since the 80's. (Warning: requires Flash.)

    Top 25 Futurama moments: Probably not the list I would have drawn up, but fun.

    Strange Horizons: SF-related fiction, articles & poetry. I haven't explored much of the site yet, but it looks interesting.

    The official Lemony Snicket website: I love these books. Not sure I have huge expectations for the movie, though.

    Farwhat: A fan-produced promotional website for Farscape and the Peacekeeper Wars miniseries. Very nice-looking.

    A History of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Exactly what it claims to be.

    Students for an Orwellian Society: Ooh! Politics!

    Friday, September 17, 2004

    Search Request Thursday

    Yes, it's late. Deal.

  • marines ticklish armpits: No way I'm brave enough to try and find out whether a marine's armpits are ticklish.

  • cliff notes for demon seed by dean koontz: Geez Louise, what are they teaching in English classes these days?!

  • "swap their heads": Now there's a plot for a cheesy horror movie.

  • quizzes of freddy kruger knowledge: So, how did Freddy do?

  • rotting loose tooth: Dude, get off the internet and go see a dentist!

  • didi edgley: Any relation to Gigi Edgley?

  • sikozu aeryn tits cock: Unless there's something really interesting about Sebacean or Kalish anatomy that we don't know about, those gals only have one of those two things.

  • stolen arwen dress patterns: Wow, stealing the king's wife's dress patterns. That takes chutzpah.

  • song titles "love as a mystical state" Rush: It's from "Ghost of a Chance." You're welcome.

  • Frodo pregnant fanfic: Unless there's something really interesting about Hobbit anatomy that we don't know about... Ah, skip it.

  • cybermen swiss army knife buy: What does a Cyberman need with a Swiss army knife? Usually they just blast their way through stuff.

  • aeryn will marry me? fanfic: No, she won't.

  • giles wanderer class: Well, Giles has class, but he doesn't strike me as that much of a wanderer.
  • Thursday, September 16, 2004


    It's fixed! I just have to relight the pilots when I get home...
    With Any Luck, I'll Actually Be Able to Take a Hot Shower Tomorrow.

    Well, the gas guy just called me at work. He's going to go out and take a look at my tank and get back to me. Keep yer fingers crossed...

    Wednesday, September 15, 2004

    As Promised, Buffy Thoughts

    Well, I've now finished Season Six of Buffy, including all the DVD extras. (OK, most of the DVD extras. I confess, I couldn't quite make it all the way through the amazingly boring commentary on "Hell's Bells.") And, yes, I do have very mixed feelings about the season.

    On an abstract, artistic, "meta" kind of level, I find it extremely interesting, and I have deep, deep respect for what the writers were doing. They're willing to allow the characters to grow and develop in ways that aren't always easy or pleasant, to follow through on the consequences of events even when they go into disturbing places. And, as I said before, I think that's very brave storytelling, and very honest storytelling, and in many ways it's very refreshing. Joss Whedon and his team repeatedly say in their comments that the idea of the season was to show these people growing up and facing, not metaphorical monsters, but the realities of adult life. I think, generally speaking, they do that very well. I also think it's an interesting thing to do, and that the season provides a lot of fascinating food for thought. There are many issues and themes woven through the season's various storylines, some of them obvious, some of them subtle: the lure and abuses of power, the necessity (and difficulty) of achieving adult self-reliance, the nature of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, etc., etc., etc.... I watch this season, and the higher centers of my brain are constantly going, "Hmm, interesting," and "Oh, cool, did you see what they did there? Plot Point X reflects on Metaphor Y to enhance Thematic Motif Z!"

    Which is great and all, and it makes the season worth watching... once. But the truth is, while my brain is engaged by it on that abstract sort of level, my heart and soul just aren't, not the way they were in previous seasons. Season 6 Sunnydale isn't a place that it's fun to spend time in, the characters aren't people I'm eager to go and hang with, and (with rare exceptions), no matter what's happening or how happy or sad the characters get, my emotions really just aren't fully engaged with them. I'm not wrapped up in the show, losing myself in it, feeling and being along with the characters. I'm sitting back being Art Critic Girl.

    I have a theory about this. (And, no, it's not "bunnies.") I think what makes season 6 appealing to me on the "art critic" level is exactly what leads to it losing me on the fangirl level. It's too real. Earlier seasons certainly dealt with real issues and real emotions, and that's a lot of what made the show so darned good. But there was always sort of a comforting layer of fantasy there to cushion the blow. No matter how the characters might suffer, and no matter how deeply relevant that suffering might be to our own real-life experiences, there remained an element of escapism about the whole thing. The show might reflect on real life, but, for the time I'd spend watching it, I wasn't actually living real life. I was living something a little more fanciful, a little more colorful, a little more fun. And if I cried when sad things happened (which, yes, I did), it was the cathartic sort of emotional release, where I felt better afterward and at least I could say, "Well, thank goodness my life was never quite that bad."

    In season six, somehow, that's all gone, and Buffy-life doesn't really feel all that much different from real life, despite the presence of vampires and demons and magic. And instead of feeling catharsis when bad things happen to the characters, I simply find myself wincing at my own painful memories. Not laughing at them, as I often did during the high school years of Buffy, which served to put my own high school years in perspective, but squirming uncomfortably in my seat as, for instance, my fast-food days come all too vividly back to me.

    In other words, I think Joss and company did exactly what they were aiming to do, but they did it so well that the end result was simultaneously intellectually fascinating and emotionally alienating. They aped the feeling of reality so well that, paradoxically, the world and the characters felt less real, because I was never able to disengage with my own reality enough to fully enter theirs.

    Which leaves me very glad to have watched it (properly, I mean, as opposed to the sporadic bits of it I saw when it aired), but with no great desire to ever sit through it again. Unlike, say, season three, which I kind of feel like going and watching again right now...
    Good News, Bad News

    Good news: The water in my water heater was still hot enough for a perfectly comfortable shower this morning.

    Bad news: My propane company's service guy isn't in today, and won't be able to come out until tomorrow. (Ah, the joys of small-town life...)

    Good news: It doesn't matter that I was late to work today from dealing with the propane company, because things here at work are so broken I couldn't do my job, anyway.

    Bad news: I'm at work now, and things are so broken I can't do my job.


    Tuesday, September 14, 2004

    What a Gas

    So, I went to the grocery store after work, and just as I was putting away the last of my food, my neighbor knocked on my door to politely inform me that she'd been smelling propane around my house. Which doesn't surprise me, actually, since I'd thought I'd smelled it briefly myself a few days ago, but it seemed to go away, and I thought maybe I'd imagined it. Also, the pilot light on my water heater went out a few weeks ago for no apparent reason, which may be simple coincidence, or may be a sign of trouble. Anyway, I shut the gas off, but of course the gas company had just closed. So I called work instead and told 'em I might not be in tomorrow. I figure I'll call the gas company first thing in the morning, but who knows how long it'll take 'em to show up?

    Sigh. And I was even going to cook today. Honest. I was.
    Oh, Yeah, I'm on Morning Shift Again...

    My first thought on waking up this morning: "Hey, I actually had enough sleep last night! Too bad I'm not awake enough to appreciate it."

    Need more coffee.

    Saturday, September 11, 2004

    More Random Links

    More miscellaneous silly/interesting links. No monsters popping out of these, either. I swear.

    Ball on a string!

    A giant map of Springfield

    Movie Mistakes

    Spock quote generator

    Friday, September 10, 2004

    And, While We're at It, Some Goofy Quizzes

    Captain Quack Rubber Duck Quiz

    Joke of the Day

    Q: What goes "Oooooooo!"?
    A: A cow with no lips.

    I felt compelled to pass that one along, for some reason.

    Thursday, September 09, 2004

    Search Request Thursday

    Because my legions of adoring fans never seem to get tired of it. Or something.

  • t'pol enterprise naked crack "east coast": Is "east coast" some kind of euphemism I'm not familiar with?

  • 2004 science tickling: I imagine the soft sciences are probably more ticklish than the hard ones.

  • "neighbor's barking dog" detective: Ah, but it's the dog that does nothing in the night-time that's the clue!

  • bad blake's lotaburger: Actually, their food is quite good, as fast food goes. I wouldn't work there again for love nor money, though.

  • vampires/mildly sexy: Extremely sexy vampires need not apply.

  • stark farscape convention 2004 Paul Goddard: Yes, he was just at one in Atlanta, and I didn't get to go. *pout*

  • pictures of naked men with pants at their knees: Well, then they're not entirely naked, are they?

  • tribble dragon tattoos: A tribble-dragon! What a great concept! It breathes fire and reproduces like crazy!

  • Buffy's bitch: You mean Spike?

  • nicknames for homemaker + domestic goodness: I dunno, I'd think that if you go giving your homemaker stupid nicknames, you might have a bit less in the way of domestic goodness.

  • humbuggy dong do: Hey, that's a lot of fun to say!

  • tatoos of greek gods or monsters: How about Prometheus getting his liver eaten? That'd be a hell of a conversation piece.

  • sensicle text data parser: I'm not sure quite how to parse that, "sensically" or otherwise.

  • "thesis sentence" and "reality tv": My thesis is that reality TV is annoying and stupid.

  • price list for googlies doll: So, what does a good condition googly doll run these days?

  • how to tell different tortises: Maybe you should mark their shells with paint. It works for sheep.

  • diagram of laundry shute door: It's a piece of wood and a couple of hinges, isn't it?

  • what porn movie did aurora snow sound like a duck: Was there an actual duck involved in the movie, or was she just making, um, duck noises? Because duck porn strikes me as a really specialized niche market, y'know. And, oh, man, I'm gonna start getting searches for "duck porn" now, aren't I?

  • Wednesday, September 08, 2004

    Hey, Look, It's the Regular Monthly Meme!

    Current clothes: Blue jeans. A gray t-shirt with a short-sleeved blue denim shirt unbuttoned over it. My Dr. Suess socks, featuring broad gray-and-white stripes, the words "one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish," and pictures of the fish in question. No shoes at the moment.

    Current mood: OK.

    Current music: Most recently Sting's Brand New Day.

    Current annoyance: My neighbors, who woke me up this morning with their very loud, very annoying music.

    Current thing: Actually getting useful stuff done around the house.

    Current desktop picture: This image of the Large Magellenic Cloud.

    Current song in head: It's amazingly quiet in the old brain just at the moment, but various tunes from the Buffy musical episode have been haunting me lately, especially Spike's.

    Current book: The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin. I find it hard to credit that I'd made it to this point in my life without ever having read the Earthsea books, but I'm very happy to finally be correcting that, because they're excellent.

    Current video in player: None at the moment. Most recently a tape I was copying Farscape episodes onto. And not the one that'd been in there for months, either. I discovered recently that I could, in fact, copy episodes off the DVDs, so I've been doing that instead of copying my crappy taped-off-the-TV episodes. Yeah, I'm a outlaw renegade, I am, madly violating copyright laws left and right.

    Current DVD in player: Disc 5 of Buffy season 6.

    Current refreshment: I had some strawberry ice cream and a mug of tea a little while ago. Mmm.

    Current worry: Between muscle aches and general tiredness and a few digestive problems I am not going to get into, I've become a little concerned about the state of my health. I was joking earlier about the problem being that I don't eat right and that I spend too much time in front of the computer, but I realized that that probably is, in fact, the problem. This is a little, well, disturbing, if not worrying, so I'm actually working on making an attempt to treat the poor old body a little better. We'll see how long it lasts. I periodically make a resolution to eat better, and I think my record so far for actually managing it is about a month.

    Current thought: I'm having very mixed feelings about Buffy season 6. Did I mention that already?

    Tuesday, September 07, 2004


    Apparently Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker of the Muppets have been voted Britain's favorite screen scientists. I'm not sure whether I'm pleased or appalled, to be honest...

    Monday, September 06, 2004

    Day of Labor

    So, it's Labor Day and, miracle of miracles, I actually have the day off. A friend of mine from Albuquerque called and wanted to know if I was doing anything this weekend, and whether she could maybe come down into town and hang out. I told her no, 'cause I'd sworn to myself I was going to use the three-day weekend to get a bunch of stuff done around the house. Having told her that, I now feel obligated to spend today housecleaning and such. Sigh. Honestly, I'm very, very tempted to call her back and ask her if she wants to come down and watch some DVDs or something, instead, but no. I am being strong! I am being productive!

    Actually, I've already got quite a lot done this weekend. You can even see the floor in the computer room now, which may not sound like much, but given that it's the space where all my random junk has been accumulating since I moved in, I consider it quite an accomplishment. I cleaned out the fridge, too. Go me!

    I have a good system for getting housework-type stuff done, if I've got a day or two to spend on it. I put on an album, or 30-60 minutes of random music, and the deal is that I have to keep working until the music stops. When it does, I'm usually ready for a break, and I can go watch an episode of Buffy or something. (I'm halfway through season 6 now, by the way, and will doubtless have a lot more to say about it when I'm finished.) Then maybe I'll go and work on something that involves sitting in front of the computer instead of scrubbing things and putting things away for a little while, just for variety. Then I'll put on some more music and start the cycle over again. This turns out to be way more effective, somehow, than making a list of things to do and just forcing myself to work straight through until they're done. And I often get a lot of little stuff done that otherwise I'd probably never even think to do, because the deal is that even if I've finished the current task, I've got to work on something until the music stops.

    Now if I can just keep things in a moderately tidy state until my sister gets here next month, I'll be happy.

    Sunday, September 05, 2004

    I Have Become Cooler.

    Look, I can prove it:

    This certifies that I, Betty,

    Have Become Cooler
    Than I was Before

    You too can
    Become Cooler at

    Friday, September 03, 2004

    Search Request Thursday

    Hey, it's only a few hours late, really.

  • christopher walken unwrap condom: Well, good to know he's practicing safe sex, I guess.

  • bender passed out gutter futurama: I can't recall any specific instances, but somehow that seems like the sort of thing that happens to Bender a lot.

  • MAXIMUM NOVELTY COMPANY: What, this blog isn't novel enough for ya?

  • allergies unstuff: Um, I think it's usually quite the opposite, really.

  • Babs Bunny with a Cucumber: I do not want to know what she's doing with the cucumber.

  • download "Blake's 7 Junction": I wish! All that's online is the trailer.

  • nude hanging around: Ah, an activity for the low-key nudists.

  • genuine computer quiz: Don't be fooled by those fake computers!

  • radio shack ec-4014: Somebody else remembers my dear, departed calculator! I am moved.

  • uses for altoids tins: Well, you can carry your Altoids around in them.

  • tickling friend socks off hobbies: Some people have strange hobbies.

  • livejournal kath worry: I'd be willing to bet good money there's somebody named Kath who worries on LiveJournal somewhere.

  • "old magnet coils": Wow, I don't even remember mentioning magnet coils.

  • www girls gown whiled free porn Wow, that's a hell of a domain name! I wonder if the "Girls Gone Wild" folks are gonna sue 'em?

  • ticklish aragorn: Ticklish is hardly a dignified thing for a king to be don't you think?

  • moped movie animated frog: Is the frog riding the moped?

  • richard dean anderson porn: Ah, is that what he was doing before MacGyver?

  • "keep mom company," cleavage: Because Mom's never lonely when she has her cleavage for company.
  • Another Post About My Stupid Body

    So, last night I indulged in some heavy-duty therapy for sore, stressed-out back and neck muscles. I drew an extremely hot bubble bath, hooked up the water jet spray gadget I bought a while back and almost never use, lit a scented candle, put on Pachelbel's Canon in D (aka the world's most relaxing piece of music), and settled in for a good long soak.

    The thing is, though, that that jet spray gadget really just makes me yearn for a proper jacuzzi bath. Because there are a very limited number of ways to position the nozzle, and none of them are quite right. There's nothing quite like achieving that exact perfect state of boneless relaxation, only to suddenly realize that I actually need bones in order to hold myself in the right position so that the jet is pointing directly where I want it.[1]

    The other, far more distressing, thing is that getting into the exact right position for the water jet tends to involve a lot of lying with most of my head under the water. Including my ears. Which, in this case, has led to either water becoming trapped in my ears, or possibly to the heat melting my annoying overabundance of earwax just enough to create a very effective plug. Either way, my ears now feel very uncomfortable, and the world sounds distant, muffled, and strange. It's really, really unpleasant. Also, whipping your head frantically back and forth in a vain attempt to shake water from you eustachian tubes also tends to pretty much undo most of the effects of a massage bath.

    On top of it all, I seem to be alternating this week between getting far too much sleep and far too little, and this has been one of the "far too little" days. I am experiencing a deep temptation to just call in sick. Or, OK, to call in tired, sore, and partially deaf. Hmm. Not sure my boss would buy that one...

    [1] Between my aching shoulders, you pervert.

    Thursday, September 02, 2004

    Search Request Thursday...

    ...will probably be a bit delayed. I seem to have developed a rather annoying pain where my neck meets my shoulders. I'm not sure whether it's a pulled muscle or a pinched nerve, but, either way, not sitting hunched over a keyboard sounds like a really good idea.

    Stupid body. What did I ever do to it, aside from the not eating right, the lack of exercise, and the sitting for hours in unnatural positions? Oh, wait...

    Wednesday, September 01, 2004

    On Foot

    Well, I finally went to the doctor today about my sore foot. Turns out that, yep, the problem was exactly what I thought it was, and, no, I didn't need an x-ray to confirm it. So, I'm supposed to do some stretching exercises, ice it every evening (or when I've been walking on it a lot), and wear shoes with lots of cushioning (which I pretty much always do anyway). It could be better in a month or so; it could take a year to improve completely. And he said if it gets to the point where I can't stand it any more, I can go back in and they can give me a cortisone injection, which might or might not help. Yay.

    While I was there, I also picked up a renewal for my allergy prescription, which ran out some time ago. The allergies have begun acting up again in a big way, and the over-the-counter stuff I've tried doesn't seem to work nearly as well as the prescription pills. (Well, the non-drowsy kind doesn't anyway. The non-non-drowsy kind work beautifully, but turn me into a living zombie.)

    Ye gods, I am getting old, aren't I? Listen to me rattling on about my medical problems...
    Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam

    Wow, I only had 48 pieces of spam in my work inbox today. Somebody's clearly slipping.
    Welcome Back, Buffy!

    So, I've now started watching season six of Buffy (for which there be spoilers ahoy!). And, y'know, two or three episodes in (depending on how you count the two-hour opener), I think I can kind of see why the season got so much fan criticism. It really is dark, and not in a way that's particularly entertaining, even for an avowed angst-fan like me.

    Still, I have to give the show's writers props for daring to tackle the subject of Buffy's resurrection in such a... well, it seems kind of silly to describe it as a "realistic way," when it involves magic spells and such, but I can't really think of a better phrase, so we'll let that one stand. The thing is, lots of TV shows have killed off main characters only to bring them back, and all too often it feels like a cheat, especially if the character is killed off in a great heroic sacrifice which is then cheapened by having the grand sacrifice turn out to be no more than a momentary inconvenience. Shows which strive for a little more realism and dramatic substance "earn" a character's resurrection by having a high price paid for it, and at least a few lingering consequences. (Farscape comes to mind, of course, as do the Star Trek movies.) But even so it's hard to escape the feeling that things are just too easy, that coming back from the dead is a little like coming back from a long vacation, after which everything tends to go right back to normal.

    Buffy's resurrection, on the other hand, is nothing remotely like that. Not only is it not anticlimactically easy, there's something about it that's downright creepy. The images of Buffy clawing her way out of her coffin and wandering around Sunnydale in a stupor are more horrific than heroic, and the strong implication that Buffy's friends, with the very best of intentions, may have done her a grave disservice (uh, no pun intended) is a hell of a twist, and certainly not something I've ever encountered before.

    However it plays out (and having seen parts of the end of season 6, I more or less know how it plays out), I do have to admire that kind of courage in storytelling.