Search Request Thursday

Yes, I know, Thursday was yesterday, but it was also Christmas, and I was taking the day off. So there.

I have to say, the sheer number of hits I've been getting for "Simpsons porn" and "Gollum porn" is really starting to worry me. At least nobody's been here looking for porn involving both the Simpsons and Gollum yet, though I suspect it's merely a matter of time. Anyway, here's the latest batch:

backpacking recipe: First take one backpack...

"Tampons" "Aeryn" "Crichton": Hmm... Do Peacekeepers use tampons? Do Sebaceans even menstruate? These are potentially interesting questions...

maximum pain theory comics: OK, what's "maximum pain theory" and why are there comics about it?

sex with galadriel pics: Geez, Gimli, give it up already! She's a married woman!

funniest quotes lexx: My personal favorite was, "It can't be that hard, it's not rocket surgery!"

Jimmy Buffets wedding pictures: I don't even have my own family's wedding pictures, let alone Jimmy Buffet's.

robot download "douglas adams hitchhiker": Aw, don't download Marvin. He's down enough already! (Ha. I kill me!)

Nude.Farscape: Little known fact: after the success of the cartoon episode and the scrapped plans to do a musical episode, writer/producer David Kemper's next stunt would have been to write an All Nude! episode. And this is the actual reason the series got cancelled...

itching powder jeans: This does not sound pleasant.

Relating to, involving, or committing the violation, desecration, or theft of something: Who know google had the capacity to function as a reverse dictionary?

adult Arwen orc fanfic: OK, I like to think of myself as pretty openminded, and, you know, I'm all for interspecies love affairs, but... Ewww!

castrate abc husband: A is for... No. Never mind. I am not doing that.

"cute with long hair": Not me. Mine's much cuter short. To the extent that it's cute at all, which is not much.

gunter ding dong mpg: Who is Gunter, and why do we want to hear his ding dong?

'Top Ten' chocolate brands: I don't know, it's just too hard to decide! Like Deanna Troi, I never met a chocolate I didn't like.

bondage porn: This one hardly would be worth remarking upon, if it weren't for the fact that they had the "safe search" option on.

download liberator handyman: I think the Liberator's handyman would have to be Avon, since he did all the fixin' stuff. I imagine he'd get very annoyed at being called that, though.

Avon Campaign 2004: Speaking of whom... Kerr Avon for Federation Prez in New Calendar 2004!

legolas willow crossover fanfiction slash: Um, technically I believe one of them would have to have a sex change for that...

answers to Kira's naked quiz: The good Major must be getting very bored since the Dominion War ended.

eowyn hentai: Oh, my mind just went to some very scary places involving Nazgul... *Shudder*

snow globe shake makes little people yell: It's here. And may I just say that, for some reason, this strikes me as just the cutest search request I've ever gotten?