"These Shoes! They Fit Perfectly!"

Well, I survived the mall. But it was kind of terrible. Man, the older I get, the more claustrophobic I get in crowds. This is not a good thing. I thought I could recover from the ordeal with a visit to the Barnes & Noble, but it was just as bad in there. And they didn't even have anything good on the bargain shelves. Bah.

But then I went to see The Muppets, and that did make me feel better. It was thoroughly awesome, even if I cannot remotely accept the premise. The Muppets became irrelevant and unpopular? Never! Certainly not in my mind!

Oh, and, yes, I finally managed to buy shoes. In fact, I bought two pairs of shoes, which I would consider uncharacteristically girly of me, except that one them were men's shoes. (Waterproof hiking boots, on sale for $50! How could I not?)

I'm not entirely sure about these sneakers I bought, though. There I was, trying on various different sneakers and having immense difficulty, as usual, finding something wide enough for my stupid giant feet and roomy enough for my stupid giant toes. At which point the salesperson recommended the ones with the roomiest toebox they have... which looked great, except that they've got these ridiculous heels, with the little cylinders that look like they belong in the suspension of your car or something, not on your footwear. You've probably seen them. I think they look pretty stupid, but I let her talk me into trying them on, and OMG, most comfortable shoes ever!!! And, unlike far too many, they have insoles that pull out, so I can easily replace them with my custom inserts. At which point, I figured, hey, if you like to consider yourself the kind of person who regards practicality and comfort as more important than looks, it really ought to go both ways, and you ought to be equally accepting of the embarrassingly trendy-looking as of the defiantly no-frills. Plus, the part I can see when they're on my feet looks fine. So I bought 'em. I'm a little nervous now, though, because after walking around the mall in them for a while, I did start to notice a teeny little bit of arch pain. But I think that probably has a lot less to do with the shoes than it does with the fact that I've been inexcusably lax about doing my plantar fasciitis-fighting stretches.

And now I am never, ever going back to the mall again. Certainly not in December.