Friday, July 25, 2008

Dear Telemarketers: May You Go Blind, And May Your Seeing Eye Dog Get Rabies And Bite You.

Wow, there is nothing -- nothing -- like telemarketers to instantly raise my blood pressure, piss me off so much I actually get shaky, and bring the raging inner bitch out from behind my naturally placid exterior.

For the record, should you get any phone calls from a company called Protel (phone number 708-418-7486), for gods' sakes do not buy anything from them. They've been accused of various kinds of phone scam, including attempting to sell Wells Fargo customers identity theft protection that they already have, without Wells Fargo's knowledge. They also do not respect the National Do Not Call Registry, which in my opinion puts them about on the moral level of people who rape kittens.

I think they must have some problem with their computers, because every time I'd try to answer so I could call them colorful four-letter names, I'd hear some clicks and get hung up on. And then they'd call again a few hours later. URGE TO KILL RISING!

Fortunately, though, I have googling skills, so I can inform you that should this happen to you, you can call the company up at 708-418-7412 to call them colorful names in person and demand that they stop harassing you. Also, if you happen to be on the Do Not Call Registry -- and if you live in the US, there is no reason not to be -- and this or any other telemarketer calls you up anyway, you can file complaint with the FTC here.


  1. I'll defer to Pop and Kathy as the experts, but I've known you for so long that I must admit that your "raging inner bitch" is buried so deeply inside you that I didn't even know you had one!

  2. Call me up out of the blue and try to sell me something, and you'll see it. :)

    Ugh. Maybe most people aren't like this about the phone, but it feels like this huge violation my personal space and personal tranquility. Phones by their very nature are just... rude. They break into whatever you're doing, whatever you're thinking, and demand your attention right now. Every time it rings, I feel rather as if somebody's shouting at me. I'll put up with that from people I know and care about, or from people who legitimately need to communicate with me, but people who don't give a flying fuck what they're interrupting and see me purely as a potential payoff? Aarrgh. I just... just... AAARGH! Why is it considered socially acceptable to essentially project yourself into someone's home and interrupt whatever personal -- for all you know, very intimately personal -- things they might be doing in an attempt to pressure them into buying aluminum siding?