Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I Am Such A Hack.

I stumbled on this even more entertaining variation of the Wikipedia music meme and could not possibly resist:

Go to Wikipedia and hit the Random Article link. This is the title of your book. Now, hit random again, until you get three names. The first is the pen name you published your book under; the second is the name of your protagonist, and the third is the name of the villain.

Hit Random again ten times to get chapter titles (you can go for more if you want, but ten is at least a good minimum). If you'd like, hit it once or twice more to get previous books your protagonist has appeared in. Or a newspaper to list your favorable reviews. :D

Then, write the synopsis/blurb of your book, using the character names and the chapter titles for inspiration.

Coming soon to a bookstore near you:

Jean-Andoche Junot by Madison Dearborn
an epic adventure featuring KK and Ivars

Chapter 1: A Blues for Shindig
Chapter 2: Savage Land Mutates
Chapter 3: Willoughby Spit
Chapter 4: Patriots' Day
Chapter 5: Unit Oketz
Chapter 6: Veterans of the First World War who died in 1999
Chapter 7: Leslie Glass
Chapter 8: Entering the Arena
Chapter 9: Continental Divide (film)
Chapter 10: VraneŇ°tica
Chapter 11: Gladiator (Melvin Potter)
Chapter 12: Gendarmerie Nationale

Cover blurb:

For four years, the near-future super-soldier known only as KK has traveled the Earth, waging a never-ending battle to bring order to a world torn by the bloodiest and most savage wars that mankind has ever known. For four years, KK has followed hints and rumors of a shadowy figure manipulating history from behind the scenes, a man possessed of unimaginable, almost supernatural power. A man whose very name has haunted him: Ivars. Now, in this explosive new adventure, KK comes face-to-face with Ivars at last, but when the ultimate conquerer and the ultimate defender clash, the consequences aren't merely global... they're personal.

(Previous volumes in this series include: Laetiporus, Harur and Sikasso.)

Well, somehow I just couldn't look at those results and not see a testosterone-soaked military adventure story of the "visit exotic places, meet interesting people, and kill them" type. Except I am largely unfamiliar with that particular genre, so I had to make it at least sort of SF-ish. I'm pretty sure I'd need a complete brain transplant to actually write that thing, under any name, but doing the blurb was ridiculously fun.

The title, by the way, is the name of a French army officer who served under Napoleon. I figure super-solider KK has doubtless made a study of his career, some aspect of which serves as a running motif illustrating the novel's main theme. Er, such as it is. I'm figuring it probably has something to do with the head wound he suffered in Italy, which Wikipedia tells me may have "reduced the quality of his judgment and made him rash and temperamental." Possibly our hero can relate.


  1. I actually would like to read this book...

  2. It's probably got a huge body count. :)

  3. Speaking of body count, I got your package today. Thanks

  4. I'm not sure I want to know how those things connect, but good. :)

  5. [...I gots *no* idee-er how to write this one...]

    Projectivism by Bertha Townsend
    Richard Evans vs. Andy Bichel

    01) Unity (video game)
    02) List of spirituality-related topics
    03) FIA European Formula Three Cup
    04) Angelica Schuyler Church
    05) Collaborationist Chinese Army
    06) North Carolina Council of State election, 2008
    07) Magic: The Gathering World Championship
    08) Oldtown, Idaho
    09) Bell Centre
    10) Sidney, Montana

  6. I have no idea, either, but I kind of want to read it. :)