Saturday, April 08, 2006

Hellblazer Dude

So, I finally got around to renting Constantine. It actually wasn't bad, all things considered. Decent-ish story (although I think that's mostly to be credited to the original comic), excellent FX, a lot of random cool moments... But, I'm sorry, no matter how hard the movie tries to convince me -- and it does try -- my suspension of disbelief is in no way elastic enough to stretch so far as to accept Keanu Reeves as John Constantine. Just... no.

At one point, very early on, I found myself muttering, "Geez, he couldn't at least attempt to do the accent?" Which was immediately followed by me answering myself with, "We should all be very, very grateful" and suppressing a shudder. Oh, and Keanu? For gods' sakes, speak up! Stop frelling mumbling! If I turned the volume up high enough that I can actually hear what you're saying, everybody else is too damned loud! Sheesh.

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