Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I Have Discovered the Secret of How to Increase the Size of Your Monitor Without Buying a New One.

I am never, never, never waiting four years plus to get new glasses again. Adjusting to a new pair is always difficult, but these ones are really doing a number on my brain. I finally reached a point at the very end of yesterday where I seemed, at least to a limited extent, to be able to shift the focal length of my eyes without feeling vaguely sick to my stomach, but turning my head too quickly still does it, and my eyes still feel like they're fighting hard just to sit there and do nothing.

Even if I can't really enjoy the view yet, though, it is much clearer than it was. Wow. I can look hundreds of feet down the street and see amazing levels of detail. I have to keep moving my chair back from the computer screen, instead of doing that thing I used to do where my nose would creep slowly closer and closer to the monitor until I suddenly realized where I was. And everything looks huge. I went to the grocery store shortly after I got the glasses yesterday and was momentarily puzzled as to why I could only find Campell's tomato soup in an extra-large can. Why had they changed it? Why didn't they advertise it? Where were the normal cans? It actually took me a couple of minutes and a side-by-side comparison test to convince myself that, no, all the cans were the same size they'd always been and it was just me. And I didn't realize until I was eating one, much later, that the massive! jumbo! oranges! I'd put in my basket when I first walked into the store were in fact normal sized. It was very disappointing.

Anyway. If they ever stop messing with my poor eyes and brain, I think I'm going to be very happy with these glasses. Man, technology has come a long way since I got my first pair at the age of six. These things are wafer-thin compared to the coke bottles I had as a kid, they weigh next to nothing, and they're made of cool bendy metal. I remember when the cool bendy metal frames first came out. A proud optician demonstrated them for me with breathless enthusiasm. Man!, I thought. Those are cool. Then I asked how much they cost, and rapidly concluded that I'd never be wearing those in my lifetime. (I was also told that my lenses were probably too thick to fit easily into wire frames, anyway. Which at that time, I guess they were. It's amazing that, as my eyes have gotten worse, my lenses have still gotten thinner.) But the Flexon frames have come down in price amazingly since then. So now I can walk into walls as often as I want, and my glasses can handle it. Yay! Although hopefully they'll help keep me from walking into walls, that being part of their job.

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