Silly Farscape Action Figures I'd Love to See

All right, all right. Just for my own amusement, and because I never did get to finish writing them up before my stupid browser crashed, I present Silly Farscape Action Figures I'd Love to See (yup, just like the blog title said):

Scream'n'Sweat Crais. With button-activated anguished screams, Genuine Sweat Action and hair with three different levels of disheveledness to reflect his mental state! Comes with pulse pistol and removable lesions to use for those little disagreements with Talyn.

Beat-me-Up Crichton. Yes, every alien in the Uncharted Territories has beaten up on John Crichton, and now you can, too! Features realistic bruises and twelve different sounds reflecting a wide variety of physical and emotional anguish.

Glow'n'Spazz Stark. Features removable mask, glow-in-the-dark face, and button-activated Spazz-Out action! (I so want one of these. Seriously!)

Scorpius' Aurora Chair Playset. Spend hours of fun torturing your other action figures! Scream'n'Sweat Crais, Beat-me-Up Crichton and Glow'n'Spazz Stark work particularly well with this playset. (Peacekeeper Barbie not included.)

Projectile-Vomit Rygel. Genuine vomit flies up to three feet! (Vomit refills not included.)

Dismemberable Pilot. With detatchable arm so you can act out that oh-so-memorable scene from "DNA Mad Scientist."

Naked Zhaan. Capture Zhaan's peaceful, meditative moments... or have her act out dirty scenes with Glow'n'Spazz Stark. Your call. (Not for sale to under-18s.)

Hawaiian Shirt Harvey. Comes with margarita glass & bottle of tequila. Oh, wait, they've actually made that one. Though I feel compelled to point out that he's not actually wearing the right shirt...

There. That's kinda cheered me up...