Thursday, June 18, 2009

Yes, It's Just A Thrill A Minute With Me.

Every time I go a week or so without updating this thing, somebody -- usually my sister -- checks in to make sure I'm not dead. Which is really rather reassuring, when I stop to think about it.

Anyway, no, I am not dead. I've just been very, very boring of late and haven't had much of anything to say. Well, I can tell you about my ever-so-exciting day, I guess. I blew off work and drove up to Albuquerque to run some errands, which involved doing the following deeply stimulating things:

1. Got the oil changed on my car (which was disturbingly overdue), and also the transmission fluid (which it was just about time for). By the way, does anybody know whether when the guys at Jiffy Lube tell you to come back in a couple of days so they can check your fluid levels, they're actually serious about that? Because I'm not making another 2-hour round trip just so they can shove a dipstick somewhere.

2. Ate lunch at Fuddrucker's, where I discovered that it is, indeed, possible to make a greasy buffalo burger.

3. Went shopping for bras. If it weren't for the fact that it happens much less often, this would provide serious competition for menstruation in the Worst Thing About Being a Female contest. Every time I do it, it makes me start thinking wistfully about breast reduction surgery, and I'm so much of a wuss about people doing medical things to my body that I still haven't worked up the guts to get my wisdom teeth out, despite repeated admonishments from my dentist. Sigh. It's expensive, too. I spent $200 on freaking bras! And half of them were on sale! Well, hopefully I shouldn't need to do it again for a few years.

4. Got ambushed by a guy who wanted to show me the OMG AMAZING! product he was selling. Which turned out to be a nail buffer. Which he insisted on demonstrating. I let him, because it was weirdly amusing, and because he looked so doggone bored, but I did keep telling him I wasn't going to buy the thing. I don't think he actually believed me until I started walking away, though. Anyway, as a result of this, the middle finger on my left hand now has a nail of freakishly unnatural smoothness and shininess. I can't stop touching it, and have occasionally been amusing myself by positioning it so as to reflect light. (Yes, I am easily amused. I've also never had a manicure in my life.)

5. Went to Barnes & Noble and bought the one book my self-imposed monthly quota system would still allow me to buy. I'm actually kind of impressed that I was able to limit myself. And I didn't buy the Star Trek DVD game that kept trying to convince me it was something I might actually want to play, either. See, sometimes I am capable of self-discipline!

6. Sat in the Barnes & Noble coffee shop for a while, sipping an iced cappuccino and reading, while I recovered from the stressily stressful stress of shopping and, y'know, being around other human beings. I wish I were more than half joking about that; I sometimes worry a little that I'm in danger of coming down with some weird phobia. Sometimes just having someone else in the same supermarket aisle with me makes me feel kind of ill-tempered and itchy. Then again, maybe it's just a fact of life that people are annoying.

7. Got lost in a construction detour, missed a poorly marked highway entrance, ended up on a road leading toward the middle of nowhere, turned around, found another highway entrance, got on the highway going the wrong way, turned around, and got caught in the construction again. All of which proves -- or, rather, reconfirms -- three facts: 1) I couldn't navigate my way out of a paper bag if you put a big arrow on each surface pointing towards the opening and handed me a GPS. 2) I have the memory of a goldfish, because if I hadn't somehow completely forgotten that I'd encountered construction around Gibson on the way in, I would have just taken I-40 like a normal person, instead of cruising the surface streets. And 3) there are perfectly legitimate reasons why I hate driving in the city, even when the city is Albuquerque, a place I am familiar with and which is not exactly known for its teeming traffic.

So, yup, that was my exciting day. What's really sad is that actually is a pretty active and event-filled day by my current standards. One of these days I should listen to Mr. Shatner and get a life.

On top of everything, of course, I now have much less money than when I left this morning. But at least the car seems happier, and I have somewhere to put my boobs. (What? Don't look at me that way! It's true!)


  1. LOLs at number 4 and empathises with you over number 6.

  2. Re: 2. Is that the same Fuddrucker's we went to nine years ago? (Is there more than one such place in Albuquerque?) I think I can almost visualize the place...

    Re: 4. Your middle finger, eh?

  3. Did we go to one when you were here? I don't even remember that, but I think we've established my goldfish like-- Wait, what was I talking about? ;)

    I think there's a few of them in Albuquerque, though. As I recall, one of 'em is near the airport, so we probably went to that one. I was eating in the one at the mall.

    And I think the middle finger got the treatment because it was the longest and hence the easiest to grab. The dude really was afraid I'd get away. :)

  4. Well, there is always room for reasonable doubt when it comes to memory, but I do have a fairly strong memory of going to a Fuddrucker's with you and a friend of mine from the music festival that I had just attended -- and the memory stands out because I think it was only the second time that I had ever been to a Fuddrucker's (the other time being during a trip to Saskatoon in 1988, which might have also been the first time that I ever tasted beer). But I don't know if the one we went to would have been near the airport, since I took a bus back to Vancouver at the end of that trip. It almost certainly wasn't in a mall, though.

  5. Oh, I completely believe your memory in this case, and that all sounds vaguely familiar. I just appear to have lost most of the details.

    I'm pretty sure it wasn't the mall one, though. I'm not sure that was even there then.