Saturday, August 18, 2007

Fencing Match

I believe I can now count myself a victim of domestic violence, inasmuch as I've just been beaten up by a fence. Ow.

OK, see, there is -- or was -- an old wooden fence between my front and back yards. It was in pretty bad shape when I moved in, and had only deteriorated further since, until this summer it pretty much just started to fall apart completely. No doubt this is in part due to the fact that these damned trees kept trying to grow up between the slats, and I could never quite manage to get rid of them, not being able get between the slats myself well enough to hack them down. And they're really, really not doing my foundation any good.

So today I took down the damned fence, which would be an accomplishment to be proud of, except the fence managed to get some of its own back. Injury scorecard: One fat lip, obtained when a board I was prying off smacked me in the face; one small gash on the shin, where I hit myself with a two-by-four; and a narrow brush with lockjaw as a nail I stepped on went right through the sole of my shoe, but somehow managed to miss breaking the skin. But, hey, you should see the other guy! I demolished the hell out of that fence! Well, except for the posts, which I think are cemented in or something.

Actually, the posts themselves seem to be in okay shape. I could probably put some herbicide or something down to kill the evil tree remnants, get some new boards, and rebuild the fence. It looks easy. I mean, I may suck at DIY, but I at least know how to hammer nails, and not a whole lot else would appear to be required. Of course, usually when I think that, I turn out to be oh so very, very wrong. Still, it seems like a good idea, if only because it would once again hide my ugly, weed-encrusted back yard from public view. Knowing me, though, I'll probably have bare fenceposts sitting there the day I finally pay off the mortgage. Sigh.

By the way, anybody happen to be in the Socorro area and want some scrap wood? It ain't good for much other than burning, but, hey, I kept myself warm for a whole winter on that kind of scavenging when I was in college. Act now and get a bunch of rusty nails as a bonus!


  1. "I'll probably have bare fenceposts sitting there the day I finally pay off the mortgage."

    Nonsense. I'll get by there eventually to help you - and to plant some carefree shrubs, too.

  2. I so want to just get rid off the grass, the weeds, and everything else, put down some nice gravel and a few cacti, and never, ever have to think about the yard again. (Mainly because I tend not to think about it much now, which is the main reason why it's mostly weeds.) But I have no idea how to go about it. I may very well come crying to you for advice sometime. :)

  3. "and to plant some carefree shrubs, too"

    Tries to imagine insouciant shrubs. :)

  4. I *knew* that was a mistake as soon as I clicked on "Publish your comment".