The Friday Five Makes Me Rich!

You have just won one million dollars:

Whoo-hoo! Where is it?

1. Who do you call first? Probably my mother. If nothing else, because I owe her money.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself? A shitload of DVDs.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else? Whaddaya mean, "someone else"? It's my mine, all mine! (Cure the Daffy Duck impression.) OK, no, seriously, I'd probably buy my mother a new computer. And send my sister a plane ticket so she could come out and visit me whenever she can actually get some time off work.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom? I'd probably donate some small amount of it to some worthy cause. Maybe public television. I believe it is my civic duty to support public television, even if I don't actually watch it any more.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how? Well, yeah, it'd be stupid not to. But I know zip about investments, so I'd consult a professional.