Saturday, November 12, 2016

Belated November Currentlies

Current clothes: Red sweatpants. A black t-shirt that says "I may look lazy, but on a molecular level, I'm quite busy." Black socks.

Current mood: I won't lie, it ain't been good. Everything from global-scale events down the the minutia of my own life seems to have been conspiring lately to make me feel upset and stressed, in a lot of different ways. I am at least feeling a little better today than I have been for the last few days, and I'm trying to hold onto that. But I am still very much feeling that strange sense of unreality, of having somehow ended up on the wrong timeline. It's almost exactly how I felt the time I rolled my pickup truck on the highway. I just sat there afterward convinced that there had been some mistake, that that couldn't possibly have just happened, and that at any moment some cosmic editing process would kick in and put reality back to what it was supposed to be. Except that wore off after a few minutes. I suspect this time it's going to take a lot longer.

Current music: Leonard Cohen's You Want It Darker. Which I didn't even realize was out, until I read about it in his obituary. Speaking of things that upset me.

Current annoyance: The whole damn world, at this point. But, more particularly, if more pettily... I've taken this week off of work, something I arranged several weeks ago. I needed to burn some use-or-lose vacation time, had some things I needed to get done around the house and such, and felt like I desperately needed some time to de-stress, having not had a real vacation in over a year. Well, the list of things needing to be done has kept growing in both magnitude and importance, and the de-stressing thing now feels like a bitter joke.

Current thing: Disillusionment. Also, the never-ending quest to prevent rainwater from coming into my house. (This time, the problem was sagging gutters.)

Current desktop picture: I finally replaced Death and his kitty with the old book image I used to use. Don't know how long I'll keep this one, though. I like it a lot, but I don't know that I'm in the mood for it.

Current book: Excession by Iain M. Banks. I generally like Banks's Culture books, but I'm feeling a little impatient with this one. It's got fun world-building (as usual), and what looks to be an interesting plot hook, but I'm 200 pages in, and so far it feels like it's all endless setup and no actual story.

Current song in head: Some incidental music from the video game Don't Starve, which I was just playing a little while ago.

Current refreshment: Nothing, but I need some breakfast.

Current DVD in player: I've been trying (with only partial success) to catch up on stuff on my DVR lately, so no DVDs at the moment. I think the most recent one was Captain America: Civil War. Which was... OK.

Current happy thing: Wellll.... OK, not having to work is good, even if I do want to pout about it not being quite the relaxing/productive break I had planned. And tomorrow is the $5-a-bag library book sale in Albuquerque.

Current thought: They say we get the government we deserve. Apparently we're a nation of assholes. In retrospect, I don't know why that surprised me.

4 comments:

  1. "But I am still very much feeling that strange sense of unreality, of having somehow ended up on the wrong timeline." That's the best description of the past few days I've seen yet.

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    1. Well, it's at least nice to know I'm not alone in that feeling. I guess. :)

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  2. I remember talking to my therapist and the way l described my feelings about the election went something like having a flawed but still cool relative that you looked up to, and then one day while looking through their closet you find their Klan robes hanging next to their Hitler shrine and a copy of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.

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    1. That may not be a bad way of describing how I'm feeling about the whole country right now, too.

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