I Survived Thanksgiving!

Well, my relatives have just now departed, and my house is all my own again... The whole Thanksgiving thing did seem to go reasonably well, except for the fact that either my oven wasn't getting hot enough or the turkey was more frozen than we thought it was or (most likely) some combination of both, resulting in the damned bird taking a staggering seven hours to cook. Thank goodness we started it early! The end results were good, though, and I now have more leftovers than I have any remote hope of consuming.



I also have the early Christmas present my mother brought me: a new TV! Note that I didn't exactly ask for a new TV. When she asked me what I wanted for Christmas, what I said was "Actually, I need to buy a new TV, so if you wanna just give me some cash to put towards it, that would be great." But she found a great deal on a 27" TV, apparently, so it made the trip out with her. I'm not complaining! Although it does turn out that the darned thing's just a smidge too big to fit into my entertainment center, so I now have to go and get a new one (er, entertainment center, that is, not TV), which is going to mean rearranging my living room all over again. Nothing is ever easy...

Happy Thanksgiving!

My family-types should be showing up sometime this evening (since they'll likely be in kinda late, we're going to do the turkey thing tomorrow instead) and will be hanging around through Saturday, so you might not see any blogging from me for a couple of days. (There ya go! Something to be thankful for!)

Have a great holiday, those of you who celebrate it, and don't forget to save room for pie!

If You're Looking for Places to Waste Time on the Internet...

...then you can entertain yourself for hours just following the links on this site. If you're not looking for places to waste time on the internet, you can still entertain yourself for hours by following the links, but you'll feel guilty about it afterwards.

The Weirdest Episode Guide Ever

Armed with a random poetry generator, I unleash myself upon an unsuspecting World Wide Web! After brutally savaging my own blog site, I turn my evil text-mangling weapon upon a hapless series of Farscape episode transcripts. The result: Farscape Season Four... in verse!

Don't worry, the results aren't remotely coherent enough to contain spoilers. Actually, some of these came out pretty darned funny, if you ask me. Though I'm more than a little worried about the poem-generator program's apparent Chiana-in-bondage fetish. (Oh, man the search engine hits I'm gonna get from that one!)

I'm tempted to go on and do the rest of the series. Or possibly Blake's 7. But this really is way more than enough excitement for one evening...

Anyway, here ya go. Enjoy!

"Crichton Kicks"

Crichton Just
so few SIKOZU as a
second is using the beard, and
white light pouring
out of
the beast bounces
toward Sikozu;
The your capacity for...
others. Satisfied, she flees
across the toubray flesh,
I... knew where GRUDEK He
runs across an mp3 version of the fall. JOHN She
pursues him is dragged backward,
and cut back he picks up
Hello? PILOT snap to.


"What Was Lost Part 1: Sacrifice"

What the old woman
JOHN What looks
over, this planet.
The voices. quiet A
thundering explosion, of it. And coughs. Jool stands
and can and cycles.


"What Was Lost Part 2: Resurrection"

What we have JOHN Prying his
shoulder for
the bars. JOOL quietly
dropping from his
forearm
and Grayza, angry glance
JOHN O.S.] over the old woman
barely taking the
surf rolls them Chiana at the
seat, behind the short tunnel
on
the faulty weapon. in
the dark ship,
They JOHN tries to where the top John
spotting in
direction, and nose he does not make
it toward her, shoulder.


"Promises"

Promises She lies in the
harsh blue tinged with four. or I leave
Moya COMMAND COMMAND filling the
head to She be killed. her!
legs ULLOM disrupting it
COMMAND CARRIER Command Whine TRANSPORT Pod
Sometime shortly
John not remember? nothing A
silencer on
him. at the blue nebula.


"Natural Election"

Natural selection. NORANTI No, notebook. JOHN
takes
a close
enough finally to some kinda weird
plant, Celebration frozen for Officer Sun
Astonishing as she grabs Rygel on top
of Arms. before have spoken word
radiation.


"John Quixote"

John O.S.] he
pushes the top [pulse rifle.
Turning away from bound Chiana Up... for arns!
I GILINA CHIANA
bound Chiana and tie, quite getting
up, dazed.


"I Shrink, Therefore I Am"

I love the hamman side. on the
suckers. AERYN exhibit signs
that he understand 1812, on
whatever got no one hand against the
armor. encasing his
keypad, and forth, tiny
Aeryn Crichton, how did you
RYGEL his feet, and we
get to the
door SCORPIUS arms open doorway.
close on the bottom of
light and the red indicator lights switch to the pulse
rifle skating away
bleeding no but
seen JOHN Well, have been ordered
to
your crewmates.


"A Prefect Murder"

A dozen clansmen saw
the back to kill PAROOS [hovering just above
him, John a gloved hands His side...
and Aeryn lying sprawled unconsious on his side,
of the
table. watching his chin
and and harsh-- but to,
Sikozu drops out of many How many people
ZERBAT to that. means Prefect
Falaak You back
and Sikozu on green
winged bug on the market, toward through
his killer brought them John ZERBAT
And she... sits
and driving him
to stand. close behind Sikozu By two
pulse fire. but
oh and AERYN lifts the device She
walks away. [


"Coup by Clam"

Coup to cure whoever it
will give
more DOC TUMI
Perhaps when this
with SIKOZU Do you SIKOZU
Yes!
AERYN No. longer than dancing.
Interrogations. Long, time
THE authorities. SCORPIUS
having descended the
moment CHIANA As your scream off
power Yeah! and have their fingers.


"Unrealized Reality"

Unrealized reality. verison of the pier, JOHN takes
hold of his feet. appears younger than fear
is there before?
DK We mean I know...
if coming, I get us down, the
control console. beside him. bodily toward the
wide embraces John.

Lord Help Us, I've Been Playing with the Random Poety Generator Again

Maximum Verbosity Random recently from myself,
but the stolen toy has fallen
into, that
I can. we traced the
Prime Directive, That in
and do without even know really
think much of them,
and then I actually exist. I
did teach him Within seconds he said
We have the
expense.I
just ordered six additional scripts
for Halloween costume boobs: Hmm, if you know,
the intergalactic law enforcer shouted: Buzz Lightyear . . . to
The Toy from myself, but afraid I just in
the VCR to my uncle,
who simply lacks the atom.

How very profound. Don't you think?

This Is How Much of a Lame Fangirl I Am...

I just ordered the Farscape cookbook. Well, you know, the money does go to a good cause.

Don't look at me like that! Saving Farscape is a good cause!

I wonder what "Braca's Brownies" actually taste like?

Eitak Nos Nhoj?

I've just watched the first episode on my first Alien Nation DVD, and I must say, I'm impressed all over again by how well this show managed to use its science-fictional premise to address the real-life issues of racism, immigration, and cultural assimilation without ever making the oh-so-common TV mistake of oversimplifying a complex issue for the sake of making a tidy moral point. They also get major points for avoiding a pitfall nearly every other SF TV show has fallen into, that of characterizing alien species with simple stereotypes. Vulcans are logical, Klingons are aggressive, etc., etc., but the Tenctonese are just people, as diverse and unpredictable as we humans. Which is, of course, a large part of the point.

Unfortunately, as happy as I am to have the series on DVD (or at least, to have made a start at collecting the series on DVD), there is one annoying side effect: I've now got the theme song firmly stuck in my head. It's either very impressive or else slightly disturbing -- I can't quite decide which -- that I actually know all the lyrics to the theme song, considering that they're in a completely alien language. But having them looping over and over in my head without even knowing what they mean is driving me crazy! I did some looking around on the web to see if I could find a translation, but as far as I can tell, such a thing doesn't actually exist. I did discover a FAQ on the show that informs me that the person who wrote the lyrics generated them by spelling the names of his wife and daughter backwards. Gee, you really do learn something new every day...

I'm Thankful That I Don't Have to Clean the Bathtub Again for a While

How was your weekend? I spent most of mine house-cleaning.

Amazingly enough, it seems that I'm going to be hosting Thanskgiving at my house this year. This is completely unprecedented; to date, my role has always been to go and mooch off of other people on Thanksgiving.

It just so happens, though, that my uncle, who is in the Air National Guard, is in Albuquerque at Kirtland AFB at the moment for some kind of special training. Since I didn't get to see him when I was in New Jersey -- in fact, he left to come out here only a day or two before I got there -- I thought it'd be nice to get together with him while he's in my neck of the woods. My mom, who hasn't seen her little brother for a while, either, thus came up with the following plan: she and my stepfather are going to drive out here from California, hook up with my uncle, and then all descend upon me for Thanksgiving. Mom's even offered to bring the turkey and do the cooking, so I say, hey, bring it on!

But it does kind of mean that I had to clean the house. And I'm one of those people who simply lacks the ability to notice dirt. (This is generally viewed as an affliction unique to guys, but then, I've long suspected myself of missing a few crucial genes on that second X-chromosome. Like the Fashion Sense Gene.) This means that my house after it's been cleaned more-or-less approximates the state of most other people's houses -- or at least, most other women's houses -- when they're first starting to think, "Man, does this place really need cleaning!" But I figure as long as my guests don't run screaming at the sight of the bathroom, I'm cool.

I guess we'll see whether that happens or not.

'Cause I Got Nothin' Else to Blog About, How About More Wacky Search Requests?

From the last month or so:

+Tranquilizer +Dart +Giles: Obviously from a participant in the Wild Librarian Capture and Release Program.

naked Halloween costume pictures: Gee, I really don't think it's much of a Halloween costume if you're naked...

Trailer Trash Halloween Costume: Sigh. Can we just quit it with the "trailer trash" stereotype, please?

"best Halloween costume" boobs: Hmm, if I go as boobs for Halloween next year, d'you think I can win "best costume," too?

Aeryn Twiddle: My first thought was that someone was looking for a description of the Farscape character twiddling her thumbs or something, but it turns out there's actually an actress named Aeryn Twidle (with one "d"!), and, yes, she does spell her first name the same as Aeryn Sun's. You learn something new every day.

weird blog test: Did I pass?

Firefly Still Flying!

According to the latest sftv.org mailing, "FOX. . . has ordered six additional scripts for Firefly and added two episodes to its episode order. Fox supposedly was very happy with the latest episode to air, Ariel, and is willing to give the show a chance to find an audience." Yay! As I've mentioned before, I'm really liking Firefly, and the more I see of it, the better I'm liking it. I just wish it was on tonight...

Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!

A friend of mine in the UK sent me a copy of this recent newspaper article, and I just had to share:

Hero Buzz Lightyear blows thief's cover
By Nick Britten
(Filed: 19/11/2002)

A thief hiding in bushes after stealing a Buzz Lightyear toy from a shop was caught after it blurted out one of its catchphrases.

Police with a sniffer dog were about to give up the chase when the intergalactic law enforcer shouted: "Buzz Lightyear . . . permission to engage."

Shaun Markey, 27, knew the game was up when the sniffer dog ran to his hiding place and began growling at him. Within seconds he was under arrest. Markey, 27, stole the £26.99 toy, the space ranger hero of the Toy Story films, from Woolworths in Hereford.

When the store's security tag set off the alarms, staff chased him down the street and the police were called. Sgt Tim Powell, who led the search, said: "We traced the offender to an area near a bridge but were having difficulty finding him. Then Buzz Lightyear joined in and Markey's cover was blown."

Sgt Powell said the arrest was a success for a new initiative set up in Hereford linking shops to the police via walkie-talkies. "This time, though, we had the assistance of an intergalactic super-hero."

The stolen toy has eight phrases, including "I'm Buzz Lightyear . . . I come in peace" and "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue".

Markey, from Hereford, appeared before the town's magistrates on Friday and admitted theft. He was given bail and will be sentenced next month.

He said yesterday: "I was a good way ahead of them and I hid in some hedges with the toy in my bag while the police and the sniffer dog looked around for me.

"I heard one of the police say, 'He's got away, let's forget it.' Then I must have pushed the button on the toy. When the sniffer dog came over to me and started growling, I just stood up.

"At the police station the police kept making fun of me. I felt like such an idiot. If it had not been for Buzz Lightyear, I would definitely have escaped."

Buzz is so my hero!

Duuuuuh!

Apparently, I live in the stupidest state in the US. (Thanks to The Soap Box for bringing this dubious distinction to my attention.) And here I thought I was just imagining the fact that I'm surrounded by idiots...

Aaargh

I managed to miss Buffy again. I set the VCR to tape it yesterday. I know I set the VCR to tape it. The VCR didn't tape it. I hate technology! Not that I could do without it, I suppose. I mean, I could go live in a cave and amuse myself with shadow puppets instead of TV, but I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy within a fortnight. Still... Sigh.

Yes, We Have No Sims Skins

For some reason, I've been getting a lot of hits recently from people looking for Sims stuff. Sorry, guys. I don't have any Sims skins on this site! I'd post a link to some of the sites where I've downloaded them from myself, but I'm afraid I don't actually remember where I got any of them, and I'm sure you can google for 'em just as well as I can. I also don't have any downloadable objects, cheat codes, technical advice, or gameplay hints. Well, OK, if you want a hint, here's a hint: Buy the expensive toilet. That extra hit of "comfort" is well worth the expense.

I do hope that piece of sage advice made your trip to this humble blog worthwhile. Happy Simming, O intrepid searcher of the web!

I Don't Care If Captain Archer Invented the Prime Directive, That Was Just Silly

Still working on getting caught up on all the stuff I taped while I was gone last week. I just watched the most recent Enterprise episode, in which Archer and Malcolm are captured by the military while doing some sight-seeing on a pre-warp planet. And can I just say: sheesh? I mean, OK, these military guys -- oh, and I suppose this counts as a spoiler, so if you actually care, be warned -- have got the two of them, they've examined all their fancy Starfleet gadgets, and they've run medical tests on Our Heroes and noticed little things like the fact that, oh, their blood's the wrong color. Not being completely stupid, these guys put two and two together and come up with the obvious answer. Now, if I were Archer, I'd have been willing to admit at this point that the jig was up. OK, guys, you've got me. It's a fair cop. We're from outer space. Can we have our communicators back? We'd like to phone home. But, nope, not our brainy Starfleet boys! Instead, they spin some cockamamie story about how they're genetically engineered soliders with experimental prototype weapons. Oh, yeah! Way to avoid contaminating their culture, dudes! Make them think that their enemies have super energy weapons and military-application genetic engineering technology way beyond anything currently known on the planet! Right. By the way, did I mention the highly unstable political situation on this world? Yeah. Great. Now these guys are doubtless gonna go into paranoid first-strike mode and nuke their enemies into oblivion just as soon as they figure out how to split the atom. And it shouldn't have taken T'Pol to point this out (long after the rest of us figured it out and even longer after the point where it could have done any good). You know, it's really just not a good thing for a TV show when the writers are obviously going for a reaction of "Aww, they're willing to give their lives to protect this society from contamination! How noble!" and instead getting "God, what a pair of idiots! Maybe they should be hanged before they do any more damage to the galaxy!"

Sigh.

Blog Housekeeping

For the record, just in case anybody cares, I've deleted several defunct blogs from the links. I've also added my Dad's blog page, which I didn't even know he had until he asked me for help in adding an e-mail link to it. There isn't much of anything there at the moment, but I did teach him some basic HTML[*], so now he's armed and dangerous. Blog on, Dad!

[*] The only kind of HTML I know.

Because There Is a Never-Ending Supply of Silly Quizzes Out There, And I Feel the Need to Take 'Em All...

"God will not suffer man to have the knowledge of things to come; for if he had prescience of his prosperity he would be careless; and understanding of his adversity he would be senseless."

You are Augustine! You love to study tough issues and don't mind it if you lose sleep over them. Everyone loves you and wants to talk to you and hear your views, you even get things like "nice debating with you." Yep, you are super smart, even if you are still trying to figure it all out. You're also very honest, something people admire, even when you do stupid things.

What theologian are you?
A creation of Henderson

I like to think that's accurate! Well, you know, except for that whole religion thing.

I've Got a Lot of TV-Viewing to Catch Up On, As Well As All That E-Mail...

I just watched last week's episode of Buffy, which I taped while I was gone, and damn, but it's nice to see yet another example of how much that show impresses me. This one went back and forth from shivers-down-your-back creepy to laugh-out-loud funny to lump-in-your-throat sad, all in the space of one episode. Definitely makes me glad I decided to start watching the 7th season eps, although I really do wish I'd started earlier. I think this one would have been even more effective if I'd had a bit more background. Still, it looks like I've tuned in just in time for really big things to start developing. I'll be looking forward to seeing tomorrow's episode!

Meanwhile, I've still got an Enterprise and a Firefly to watch... I think I need a vacation to catch up on all the stuff I missed while I was away on vacation.

If I Still Owe You E-Mail, Here's the Reason Why

Man, I had really, really intended to spend most of today catching up on my e-mail and maybe working on my Phoenix zine, and it just completely ended up not happening. I really should have known better than to decide to go shopping...

The thing is, I needed a new stereo. I was trying to copy a tape for a friend of mine before I left when the tape deck quit working... Not exactly a surprise, that, since the thing dates back to a time when turntables were standard equipment and CDs were still the coming thing. So I had decided that it was high time I got myself a new one. I was also in desperate need of some new jeans, and, gee, I had no groceries in the house at all... So I figured an expedition up to Wally-world was in order. Well, that's three hours for shopping, right there, counting the 90-mile round trip, which was made even slower by having to navigate the 15 miles or so of Orange Barrel Hell north of town.

Anyway, I did end up buying myself a stereo. OK, it was a cheap-ass stereo, but then, I'd been playing my tapes on the vintage 80's relic and my CDs on a boombox, so it's still a major step up for me. Problem was, having decided to purchase a stereo, I realized I was going to need a place to put it, since it wasn't going to fit on the stand for the old one. So I bought a bookcase. Which I had to put together. Now, the stereo wouldn't fit on the bookcase (not deep enough), which was fine, because I could put it on top of the entertainment center, which previously held books. Of course, I couldn't then just move those displaced books onto the new bookshelves, because that would throw my whole book-organization system off. So I had to move all the books in the living room around. And I had to move the old stereo (and the poster above it) so I could fit in the new bookcase. And then I realized that now that I had empty shelf space and could take my Star Trek mug collection (don't laugh; it was a Christmas present!) out of the box it was sitting in and put it back out on a shelf. And then...

Ah, skip the details. The point is, I think I damn near ended up rearranging my entire living room. Which is why I didn't get to my e-mail, or pretty much anything else I'd intended to do.

And the moral is: Shopping is evil and will take over your entire life. Although when you're listening to the latest Tom Petty CD with the volume cranked up in the midst of your amazingly-organized living room, it does kind of seem worth it.

But now I'm very, very tired.

I'm Baaaaack!

Yes, I am now back in front of my own computer in my own home, and I'm pleased to report that I had an uneventful flight back, and that I arrived to find my house still standing and my cats alive and well and hopefully not too awfully pissed off at me. I also found 435 e-mails waiting in my inbox, which was actually rather less than I was expecting. And 22 messages on my answering machine, 19 of which were telemarketers calling and hanging up, and 2 of which were telemarketers who actually had the unmitigated audacity to leave messages. But my thoughts on that matter aren't printable, even by my standards.

Anyway. I'm not gonna go on very much longer, because I'm tired and hungry and very much need to spend some quality time with the kitties, not to mention unpacking and suchlike. But I will mention one thing that really, really struck me on this trip: it didn't feel like going home. Oh, sure, lots of my family is there, and seeing them was great, but New Jersey itself just doesn't feel like home anymore. Not even in a nostalgic sort of way. Hell, it doesn't even feel like a place that used to be home, which is kind of odd. It's just... a place. And not even a particularly great one in many ways (although the autumn leaves were definitely very pretty). The converse of that, I suppose, is that sometime, when I wasn't looking, New Mexico somehow became "home." That wasn't something I ever really intended to happen, but I suppose it shouldn't be too surprising. I've been here for 13 years now, more or less my entire adult life. It's really no wonder coming back here feels... comfortable.

Anyway, never mind all that. The point is: I'm back, and normal blog service should now be resuming. You can all let out that collective breath you've been holding!