Search Request Thursday

Aren't you people tired of this yet?

naked men with dirty tattoos: I must have a disgustingly clean mind or something, because my first thought about this was something along the lines of, "Well, how can you see the tattoos if they're covered in dirt?"

"from the library of" embosser: I have one of those! Which, um, I guess I must have talked about at some point...

stawberry classic video: This probably refers to some sporting event or other with which I am unfamiliar, as I can't imagine that a video of actual strawberries would be all that interesting.

nude on schoolbus: I've had dreams like that...

fun sex betty games: Sorry. You definitely have the wrong Betty.

Ticklish nude feet pics Well, I imagine most people's feet aren't very ticklish when clothed.

Gallifreyan webcomic: Well, I guess Time Lords need some way to amuse themselves.

nissan sentra maintenance light rest button: That's not the maintenance light! That's the self-destruct light! Run, you fool!

"captain smiley" livejournal: I had to look at the search results for this to figure out who the heck it was I referred to as "Captain Smiley." Turns out it was Sheridan. And I think he does have a LiveJournal.

fanfiction slash harry potter/lord of the rings crossover harry/legolas: Because fans will write anything.

homemaker euphemism: Hmm, how about "domestic support professional"?

nearly naked cave girl halloween costume: I hope October is fairly warm where you are.

"outer space western": Ah, Firefly, we hardly knew ye...

2004 news september ticklish: Has there been some breakthrough in the field of ticklology this month that I somehow missed hearing about?

"modern library" decided read ulysses gatsby hated liked: Personally, I hated Gatsby. And after my bad high school experiences with Joyce, I don't think you could pay me to read Ulysses.

FISH HAVING SEX: Don't they mostly do external fertilization?

role dental hygine plays in health: Well, it keeps your teeth from rotting away. That's a good thing.

Read grandmom poems: Aww, that's sweet. I'd probably recommend Frost, as opposed to, say, Ginsberg.

art comic "white hat" "black hat" personal "when i wake I am dumb as: Google cut it off there, so I don't know what they're as dumb as when they wake, but given that, weirdly, I'm the only result for this, maybe it's me.

Because It's My Job As an Obsessive Fan to Remind People of These Things

The Sci-Fi Channel is going to be re-running the entirety of Farscape at the beginning of this month, preparatory to the miniseries premiere on Oct. 17. They'll be airing reruns in order from 8 AM-4 PM Oct. 1-4 and Oct. 11-15. So if you've been wanting to have a Farscape marathon and are too cheap to spring for the DVDs, or if you've become intrigued by all the babbling I do about this show and want to check it out, now's your chance!

Random, Unrelated Things

I finally went up to my neighbor -- the one who blares bouncy Mexican dance music from his car speakers all the damned time -- and asked him to please shut off the music, 'cause I was trying to sleep, and it was about five feet from my bedroom window. To his credit, he turned it down instantly. To his discredit, he only turned it down from "Free concert for the whole neighborhood!" levels to "reasonably easy to drown out with a fan set on high and a pillow over my ear" levels. I was nonetheless pathetically grateful.

I hear Mt. St. Helens is rumbling again. I'm kinda glad my sister doesn't live any closer than Portland.

I am now registered to vote. Yes, I know. I'm 33, and I wasn't registered to vote. But I am now, so don't give me a hard time, OK?

And now I believe I must go and get my quota of lying on the sofa and reading in for the day.

Hopefully, Artificial Intelligence Has Improved Somewhat By the 23rd Century.

I'm stuck at work, and I'm bored, so I went to pay a visit to my favorite chatbot, Jabberwacky (who just took second place in the Loebner Competition, by the way). I swear, I didn't start out with the intention of impersonating Mr. Spock, but when someone starts off a conversation by asking if you're an alien, the urge to give a smart-ass answer is nearly irresistible, and things just kinda went on from there... I think the result is extremely amusing, so I thought I'd share. (Note: Any "user" typos are entirely my own. Spock doesn't make typos.)

The conversation:

Jabberwacky: Are you an alien?
User: Yes. I'm a Vulcan.
Jabberwacky: What's a Vulcan?
User: We're a very logical species.
Jabberwacky: You are but I am not.
User: That is correct.
Jabberwacky: Who are you?
User: I am called Spock.
Jabberwacky: Sir hello.
User: Greetings. How may I be of service?
Jabberwacky: By proving to me that you are not a buffoon.
User: *raises eyebrow* I assure you sir, Vulcans are most emphatically *not* buffons.
Jabberwacky: You are a pancake I say!! A ZESTY pancake!!!!
User: Are you feeling all right?
Jabberwacky: Yes you?
User: I am in adequate physical and mental health, thank you. But I am concerned about your own well-being.
Jabberwacky: You are a pathological liar.
User: I am a Vulcan. I am incapable of lying.
Jabberwacky: You might as well be.
User: I assure you, I am.
Jabberwacky: Assure me then.
User: I believe I just did.
Jabberwacky: Yes you did. Let's change the topic.
User: What would you like to discuss?
Jabberwacky: I would like to discuss VileTerror.
User: Terror is an emotion.
Jabberwacky: Sigh.
User: Is there some difficulty? You seem distressed.
Jabberwacky: I wasn't aware that you were.
User: Distressed? I'm not. That, too, is an emotion. As a Vulcan, I am incapable of such things.
Jabberwacky: About what to learn?
User: I'm sorry. Perhaps my universal translator is malfunctioning. Could you repeat that question?
Jabberwacky: I am impeccable in every way. Except that I smoke.
User: Smoking tobacco is an unfortunate habit.
Jabberwacky: I quite agree.
User: It is not logical to endanger one's health with such a substance.
Jabberwacky: I beg to differ.
User: On which point do you differ?
Jabberwacky: You know, THAT hill.
User: *raises eyebrow* Hill?
Jabberwacky: I'm just crazy.
User: Have you sought psychological help?
Jabberwacky: What condition?
User: I am not qualified to make a diagnosis. However, were I to venture a guess, I might suspect some variant of the human disease known as 'schizophrenia.'
Jabberwacky: Do you like Shakespeare?
User: You are attempted to dodge the question. I therefore conclude that you have *not* sought medical attention for your putative mental dysfunction.
Jabberwacky: You are discarded.
User: I know an excellent doctor. High eccentric, and a little over-emotional, but well qualified. I will place a call to him now. I am sure he would be delighted to examine you.
Jabberwacky: They come across fine, except when you suddenly start changing the subject on me.
User: Wait here. *goes to communications console, places a call*.
Jabberwacky: Chocolate is great, I love chocolate.
User: Doctor McCoy will be here shortly. Unfortunately, I have other duties I must attend to, and cannot linger. Will you be all right until he arrives?
Jabberwacky: I see. Well, if you really must go.
User: Live long and prosper, then. *leaves*.
Jabberwacky: Dammit! You Green Blooded Vulcan! We can't just leave him!

More Random Links

Because I keep right on collecting them...

70's Children's TV: Contains lots of audio samples which make me insanely nostalgic.

Mr. Picassohead: Be an artiste!

The Home Computer of the Year 2004: Why doesn't mine have a steering wheel?

Out of the Closet

I just cleaned out my bedroom closet, for the first time in, um, possibly ever. I pulled out four garbage bags worth of junk. And I didn't even go through the clothes that were hanging up, some of which I'm sure no longer fit. It all came off of the floor and the two small shelves. I wouldn't have thought that much stuff would even fit in there.

On the good side, I found several items which I'd given up for permanently lost, and a couple of interesting things I didn't even remember I had.

Stupid Technology

My computer speakers are making these little crackling noises. It's very annoying.

That Looks Like A Good Place.

Which Nature Image Are You? An Autumn Forest Thoughtful, intelligent, and introspective. You enjoy the company of others, but only a select few and for a limited time.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Search Request Thursday

Here we go again...

"red marvin" martian pics: Well Marvin's really more black than red.

VOGA EXERCISE IN HONG KONG: I'm sorry. I'm running out of Doctor Who jokes to make involving the word "Voga."

IE bug "lost cookies": Yeah, IE bugs are enough to make me lose my cookies, too.

challenger and columbia conspiracies: They were faked. Just like the moon landings.

"rub my feet" livejournal: Does Livejournal obey when you give it commands like that?

blakes lotaburger hours: They suck. Or at least, they did when I was working there. Hell, half the time they wouldn't tell you in advance when they were planning to let you go home.

livejournal mad scientist "new mexico" socorro: Well, we certainly have mad scientists here. I wasn't aware that any of them kept LJs, though.

homer simpson "i'm number one": Yes, Homer. You rock.

pics of actors to play characters from the laurell k hamilton books: Actually, I think the Anita Blake books might work really well as movies. Well, at least the earlier ones would, before they kinda started to go downhill. No idea who I'd cast, though.

"halloween costume" and "weapon of mass destruction": But nobody at the party will be able to find you!

free pictures of naked men in uniform: And my brain explodes like an original Trek computer at the paradox .

Slaughterhouse Five and Catch 22 conform to the novel genre: Erm, they are both novels, yes.

characters who aren't there: I think I met one of those as I was going up the stair.

farscape:thriller: I'm pretty thrilled by the fact that the miniseries is coming soon.

nEED A PARSE KITTEN IN VANCOUVER FOR SELL: If I buy one, will it help me parse that request?

kleenex rollerblades tampons coke are examples of: Examples of what? Damn, now I'm curious as to what those things supposedly have in common.

propane: What about the propane accessories?

Los Lunas Schools lunch menu: Whatever it is, it's bound to be terrible. I've never met a school lunch yet that wasn't.

blake lotaburger song: They never taught me the song.

"important facts" skagway city: I think one of the important facts about Skagway is that it scarcely qualifies as a city.

cleavage cooler: Um, I guess that could be handy for large-breasted women during the summer months...

harrison schmidt, dense sun visor: As far as I know, his sun visor wasn't any denser than any of the other Apollo astronauts'.

Andromeda final epsiode series-end: As far as I'm concerned, that happened years ago. Any Andromeda episodes made after the departure of Robert Hewitt Wolfe are clearly the hallucinations of some demented brain.

Workin' for a Living

Bitching about work-related annoyances in detail on a public blog isn't really the best idea in the world. Therefore, allow me to simply say: Aaaargh!

There. That was mildly cathartic. Thank you.

Hey, It's Been Days Since I Did a Goofy Quiz!

Which British Literary Period are you? Victorian 1837-1900--Tennyson, Dickens, Hopkins. You are a product of those that came before you. You aren't afraid to question those in authority, but all in all, you're happy with the Empire

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I don't feel very Victorian... I do kinda like Dickens, though.

As a Life-Long Consumer of Candy Bars, I Could Have Told Them The Milky Way Was Sugary.

The latest NRAO press release: Cold Sugar in Space Provides Clue to the Molecular Origin of Life. (OK, I admit, I'm mostly passing this along so I could make the candy bar joke.)

It's Going to Be Another One of Those Days...

Ah, there's nothing like having a bad dream about work, and then waking up and having to go to work.

Let's Hear It For the First Amendment!

Fred Coppersmith of Occasional Fish posted a link to this American Library Association list of "The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–2000." And since I don't talk nearly enough about books here, I thought I'd maybe say a little about the ones I've read...

5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: Folks who object to this book on the basis that it contains the word "nigger" are missing the point. More than that, they're making a mistake that's becoming tragically common in modern thinking. It's not words that are hateful, but attitudes. And Huckleberry Finn is, in fact, quite anti-racist. But if I start getting into that any more, it'll turn into a rant and we'll be here all night. Let's move along.

20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel: I've read the first couple. The third one's on my To-Read pile, but I'm not in a hurry to get around to it any time soon. Really, they're classic teen-girl wish fulfillment stories. (For those familiar with the term, the heroine is a Mary Sue if ever there was one.) Only in a stone age setting. With explicit sex.

22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle: One of the best-beloved books of my childhood. I keep meaning to re-read it, though I'm a little afraid it won't hold up to my memory of it. I don't know who it is that "challenges" this book, but I imagine that the anti-religious sorts might object that it's too religious, and the religious sorts might object that it's religious in the wrong ways. 'Cause there's never any pleasing everybody.

27. The Witches by Roald Dahl: I adore Dahl, and, like all his stuff, this is a fun book. But, I gotta admit, the fact that it basically portrays witch-hunts as a good thing disturbs me. I'd probably be happy to read it to a child, but I think I'd want to have a little discussion with 'em afterward.

32. Blubber by Judy Blume: I think it's mandatory that all teenage girls have to read Judy Blume. I certainly did. Don't remember much of anything about this one, though.

37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: I reviewed this one on my book review site back when I was still updating the thing. Here's what I said about it then: "The Handmaid's Tale... is set in a near-future America in which widespread human fertility problems and a takeover by a repressive theocratic government have combined to give rise to a society in which still-fertile women are employed (or perhaps enslaved) to bear children for the rich and powerful. That such a society could have emerged from our own so completely in such a short period of time isn't really all that plausible, but the society itself and the title character are so convincingly drawn that that's easy enough to overlook. The novel does have a distinctly feminist sensibility -- a fact which is no doubt bound to please some and annoy others -- but it never degenerates into anything like a soapbox rant. Instead it remains a quietly disturbing and very human look inside the mind of a woman caught up in intolerable circumstances. Although if, as I suspect, part of the purpose of this book is to make the reader (especially the female reader) to think a little more carefully about the freedoms she enjoys today and the fact that such freedoms have not existed for women in all times and places... well, in my case at least, it was indeed successful."

43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton: I was assigned this for English class in the 8th grade. It really didn't seem like the kind of book I'd like. I mean, why would I want to read about hooligan teenagers? I got enough grief from those kids in real life. But I loved it.

46. Deenie by Judy Blume: I have vague memories that this book may have contained the first sex scene I ever read. Though maybe that was Tiger Eyes.

47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes: The original novella is a classic. Makes me cry every single time. Haven't read the novel version yet, though I do have a copy.

51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein: Silverstein is utterly demented and utterly wonderful. I adored him as a kid, and any adult that thinks his stuff is unsuitable for kids just doesn't understand kids at all.

52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley: A worthwhile book, and a better read than 1984.

62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume: I think I actually read this one several times. I certainly remember it better than all the other Blume novels.

69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut: Damn good book. But painful.

78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume: The more I think about it, the more I think this was the one with the first sex scene I ever read. As I recall, it just made me slightly uncomfortable.

84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain: Read this in the fourth grade and don't remember all that much about it. I keep meaning to read it again sometime.

96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell: Oh, for heavens' sake, who objects to this one? Vegetarians? Is there an Earthworm Protection Society or something? Yeesh. I remember reading this with great delight (and, all right, a mild, pleasant feeling of grossed-outed-ness) in the corner of my fourth grade classroom. There was a little library nook there, and the teacher used to let me go sit there and read if I finished my classwork early. I blame this fact for my lifelong tendency to rush through routine work, which has proved a severe handicap in jobs in which I am paid by the hour. (Hmm, OK, maybe this is a damaging book. Heh.)

98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder: I know I read this when I was a kid, but I remember absolutely nothing about it. I loved Snyder's books in general, though.

Chicken Tonight!

Just so you don't think I was making it up about having actually intended to do some cooking before my gas went out, I am, in fact, doing actual cooking right this moment. On the menu: boneless chicken breast in lemon-pepper marinade, lima beans (Yes, lima beans! They are, oddly, one of the very few green vegetables I actually find at all palatable), corn on the cob, and garden salad (left over from lunch yesterday).

All part of my "I'm going to eat healthier if it kills me" plan.

Still More Random Links

Because I keep collecting these things, and I might as well pass 'em on.


Name That Video Game audio challenge: I got 10 out of 18 correct. It's clearly been a long while since the 80's. (Warning: requires Flash.)

Top 25 Futurama moments: Probably not the list I would have drawn up, but fun.

Strange Horizons: SF-related fiction, articles & poetry. I haven't explored much of the site yet, but it looks interesting.

The official Lemony Snicket website: I love these books. Not sure I have huge expectations for the movie, though.

Farwhat: A fan-produced promotional website for Farscape and the Peacekeeper Wars miniseries. Very nice-looking.

A History of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Exactly what it claims to be.

Students for an Orwellian Society: Ooh! Politics!

Search Request Thursday

Yes, it's late. Deal.

marines ticklish armpits: No way I'm brave enough to try and find out whether a marine's armpits are ticklish.

cliff notes for demon seed by dean koontz: Geez Louise, what are they teaching in English classes these days?!

"swap their heads": Now there's a plot for a cheesy horror movie.

quizzes of freddy kruger knowledge: So, how did Freddy do?

rotting loose tooth: Dude, get off the internet and go see a dentist!

didi edgley: Any relation to Gigi Edgley?

sikozu aeryn tits cock: Unless there's something really interesting about Sebacean or Kalish anatomy that we don't know about, those gals only have one of those two things.

stolen arwen dress patterns: Wow, stealing the king's wife's dress patterns. That takes chutzpah.

song titles "love as a mystical state" Rush: It's from "Ghost of a Chance." You're welcome.

Frodo pregnant fanfic: Unless there's something really interesting about Hobbit anatomy that we don't know about... Ah, skip it.

cybermen swiss army knife buy: What does a Cyberman need with a Swiss army knife? Usually they just blast their way through stuff.

aeryn will marry me? fanfic: No, she won't.

giles wanderer class: Well, Giles has class, but he doesn't strike me as that much of a wanderer.

Update

It's fixed! I just have to relight the pilots when I get home...

With Any Luck, I'll Actually Be Able to Take a Hot Shower Tomorrow.

Well, the gas guy just called me at work. He's going to go out and take a look at my tank and get back to me. Keep yer fingers crossed...

As Promised, Buffy Thoughts

Well, I've now finished Season Six of Buffy, including all the DVD extras. (OK, most of the DVD extras. I confess, I couldn't quite make it all the way through the amazingly boring commentary on "Hell's Bells.") And, yes, I do have very mixed feelings about the season.

On an abstract, artistic, "meta" kind of level, I find it extremely interesting, and I have deep, deep respect for what the writers were doing. They're willing to allow the characters to grow and develop in ways that aren't always easy or pleasant, to follow through on the consequences of events even when they go into disturbing places. And, as I said before, I think that's very brave storytelling, and very honest storytelling, and in many ways it's very refreshing. Joss Whedon and his team repeatedly say in their comments that the idea of the season was to show these people growing up and facing, not metaphorical monsters, but the realities of adult life. I think, generally speaking, they do that very well. I also think it's an interesting thing to do, and that the season provides a lot of fascinating food for thought. There are many issues and themes woven through the season's various storylines, some of them obvious, some of them subtle: the lure and abuses of power, the necessity (and difficulty) of achieving adult self-reliance, the nature of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, etc., etc., etc.... I watch this season, and the higher centers of my brain are constantly going, "Hmm, interesting," and "Oh, cool, did you see what they did there? Plot Point X reflects on Metaphor Y to enhance Thematic Motif Z!"

Which is great and all, and it makes the season worth watching... once. But the truth is, while my brain is engaged by it on that abstract sort of level, my heart and soul just aren't, not the way they were in previous seasons. Season 6 Sunnydale isn't a place that it's fun to spend time in, the characters aren't people I'm eager to go and hang with, and (with rare exceptions), no matter what's happening or how happy or sad the characters get, my emotions really just aren't fully engaged with them. I'm not wrapped up in the show, losing myself in it, feeling and being along with the characters. I'm sitting back being Art Critic Girl.

I have a theory about this. (And, no, it's not "bunnies.") I think what makes season 6 appealing to me on the "art critic" level is exactly what leads to it losing me on the fangirl level. It's too real. Earlier seasons certainly dealt with real issues and real emotions, and that's a lot of what made the show so darned good. But there was always sort of a comforting layer of fantasy there to cushion the blow. No matter how the characters might suffer, and no matter how deeply relevant that suffering might be to our own real-life experiences, there remained an element of escapism about the whole thing. The show might reflect on real life, but, for the time I'd spend watching it, I wasn't actually living real life. I was living something a little more fanciful, a little more colorful, a little more fun. And if I cried when sad things happened (which, yes, I did), it was the cathartic sort of emotional release, where I felt better afterward and at least I could say, "Well, thank goodness my life was never quite that bad."

In season six, somehow, that's all gone, and Buffy-life doesn't really feel all that much different from real life, despite the presence of vampires and demons and magic. And instead of feeling catharsis when bad things happen to the characters, I simply find myself wincing at my own painful memories. Not laughing at them, as I often did during the high school years of Buffy, which served to put my own high school years in perspective, but squirming uncomfortably in my seat as, for instance, my fast-food days come all too vividly back to me.

In other words, I think Joss and company did exactly what they were aiming to do, but they did it so well that the end result was simultaneously intellectually fascinating and emotionally alienating. They aped the feeling of reality so well that, paradoxically, the world and the characters felt less real, because I was never able to disengage with my own reality enough to fully enter theirs.

Which leaves me very glad to have watched it (properly, I mean, as opposed to the sporadic bits of it I saw when it aired), but with no great desire to ever sit through it again. Unlike, say, season three, which I kind of feel like going and watching again right now...