Dear crappy discount store,
If you don't trust me with your stuff, why on Earth should I trust you with mine? Also, the statement "you have to leave your backpack here" is both rudely phrased and demonstrably false. I do not have to do anything, including shop at your crappy store.
No love (and no money),
Me
Monday, September 17, 2007
These May Turn Out To Be Surprisingly Revealing Questions.
That "interview questions" meme that periodically circulates around the web seems to have popped its head up again, and Andrew Ironwood has thus posed me the following questions. (Actually, he gave me a set of "easy" questions and a set of "hard" ones, and invited me to mix'n'match. Which I cheerfully have.)
1) What book have you most recently finished reading?
I just finished Reckless Engineering by Nick Waters. It's um, a Doctor Who novel. Not that I'm obsessed or anything. It was okay. Not great, but okay.
2) What would I most likely find in your refrigerator on any given day?
Coffee. 2% milk (for use in the coffee). I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Fruit. Possibly some cheese. Well-past-their-sell-by-date eggs. Assorted condiments, most of them left there ages ago by visiting relatives who failed to share my complete lack of interest in condiments. Maybe some orange juice, if I'm lucky.
Gender is an incidental issue; basically, I'm a bachelor. And the fridge, sadly, reflects this.
3) Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with a thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that-for some reason- every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots. WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO THIS?
Probably not, although whether the failure would be due to a lack of faith in my physical strength or my extreme tender-hearted squeamishness is an open question. I can't even help feeling slightly upset about killing cockroaches.
4) You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: every three years, someone will break both of your soulmate's collarbones with a Cresent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: you must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear-for the rest of your life- sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice In Chains. When you hear Credence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice In Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice In Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). WOULD YOU SWALLOW THE PILL?
Bah. That would really suck. But I suppose, being the altruistic, non-horse-killing soul that I am, I would feel honor-bound to put another human being's physical welfare over my own aural enjoyment. And at least I'm getting a non-broken soulmate out of the deal. Not that I actually wanted a soulmate or anything, but if I'm gonna have one, one with functional collarbones would probably be preferable. Also, man, they're gonna owe me, aren't they? That could pay off. Not that I'm basing my decision on such selfish concerns, of course. Not at all.
5) A visitor from the future gives you one free use of a functional holodeck, which he has programmed to be able to simulate *any* sci-fi 'universe' from literature, TV or films. You can choose the location in both space and time, but this holodeck has two peculiar bugs: 1) you have to pick a precise length of time you will be in the simulation before starting (which you cannot change once you are inside and the program is running); and 2) the Mortality Safeguards are, well, not *entirely* reliable. WOULD YOU STILL USE THE HOLODECK, AND IF SO, WHEN AND WHERE (IN WHICH CONTINUITY) WOULD YOU GO?
Aargh. OK, maybe I am obsessive. Because, yeah, how could I resist? And I would go with Doctor Who, not simply because I am obsessive, but because the mortality rate among Doctor Who companions -- the role I assume I would be playing -- is actually very low. Not non-zero, but low. It'd be a hell of a lot safer than, say, Farscape. Hell, I'd feel reasonably safe giving it a few weeks. You know, assuming I had vacation time and someone was feeding my cats, or whatever. Because that would be the single coolest vacation ever. Possibly I would hang around with the Eighth Doctor. (Pre-Time War, obviously. Well pre-Time War. I have no desire to be exterminated by holo-Daleks, although, really, it would be a very me way to die.) And I will steadfastly maintain that my reason for picking number Eight is entirely because he was a cool Doctor who got very little screentime and would thus be interesting to see more of, and not at all because he is incredibly hot. Ahem.
OK. That was... sort of interesting. Anybody want me to ask them questions, now? Because, as I recall, that's how this meme is supposed to work.
1) What book have you most recently finished reading?
I just finished Reckless Engineering by Nick Waters. It's um, a Doctor Who novel. Not that I'm obsessed or anything. It was okay. Not great, but okay.
2) What would I most likely find in your refrigerator on any given day?
Coffee. 2% milk (for use in the coffee). I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Fruit. Possibly some cheese. Well-past-their-sell-by-date eggs. Assorted condiments, most of them left there ages ago by visiting relatives who failed to share my complete lack of interest in condiments. Maybe some orange juice, if I'm lucky.
Gender is an incidental issue; basically, I'm a bachelor. And the fridge, sadly, reflects this.
3) Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with a thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that-for some reason- every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots. WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO THIS?
Probably not, although whether the failure would be due to a lack of faith in my physical strength or my extreme tender-hearted squeamishness is an open question. I can't even help feeling slightly upset about killing cockroaches.
4) You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: every three years, someone will break both of your soulmate's collarbones with a Cresent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: you must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear-for the rest of your life- sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice In Chains. When you hear Credence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice In Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice In Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). WOULD YOU SWALLOW THE PILL?
Bah. That would really suck. But I suppose, being the altruistic, non-horse-killing soul that I am, I would feel honor-bound to put another human being's physical welfare over my own aural enjoyment. And at least I'm getting a non-broken soulmate out of the deal. Not that I actually wanted a soulmate or anything, but if I'm gonna have one, one with functional collarbones would probably be preferable. Also, man, they're gonna owe me, aren't they? That could pay off. Not that I'm basing my decision on such selfish concerns, of course. Not at all.
5) A visitor from the future gives you one free use of a functional holodeck, which he has programmed to be able to simulate *any* sci-fi 'universe' from literature, TV or films. You can choose the location in both space and time, but this holodeck has two peculiar bugs: 1) you have to pick a precise length of time you will be in the simulation before starting (which you cannot change once you are inside and the program is running); and 2) the Mortality Safeguards are, well, not *entirely* reliable. WOULD YOU STILL USE THE HOLODECK, AND IF SO, WHEN AND WHERE (IN WHICH CONTINUITY) WOULD YOU GO?
Aargh. OK, maybe I am obsessive. Because, yeah, how could I resist? And I would go with Doctor Who, not simply because I am obsessive, but because the mortality rate among Doctor Who companions -- the role I assume I would be playing -- is actually very low. Not non-zero, but low. It'd be a hell of a lot safer than, say, Farscape. Hell, I'd feel reasonably safe giving it a few weeks. You know, assuming I had vacation time and someone was feeding my cats, or whatever. Because that would be the single coolest vacation ever. Possibly I would hang around with the Eighth Doctor. (Pre-Time War, obviously. Well pre-Time War. I have no desire to be exterminated by holo-Daleks, although, really, it would be a very me way to die.) And I will steadfastly maintain that my reason for picking number Eight is entirely because he was a cool Doctor who got very little screentime and would thus be interesting to see more of, and not at all because he is incredibly hot. Ahem.
OK. That was... sort of interesting. Anybody want me to ask them questions, now? Because, as I recall, that's how this meme is supposed to work.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Also, A Warning For The Who Watchers
I haven't seen it yet myself, but I'm told that Sci-Fi's preview for next week contains some really big spoilers. Which -- trust me on this -- you do not want. Do yourself a favor and don't watch anything preview-y. If you desperately want a less-spoilery glimpse at the next episode, ask me and I'll give you one.
(Stupid goddamn Sci Fi. They are always doing this kind of crap.)
(Stupid goddamn Sci Fi. They are always doing this kind of crap.)
Better Not Take Your Eyes Off This Doctor Who Discussion Post
Currently airing in the US: "Blink." Once again, you may feel free to comment below if you have anything you want to say about this episode, previous episodes, Farscape episodes, Shakespeare plays, action figures, the Doctor's love life, whatever. Just remember, no spoilers for anything past "Blink." Thanks!
The Story Thus Far
At the risk of this turning into the All-Doctor Who-All-the-Time Blog, I simply must link to this: 43 years of Doctor Who in five-and-a-half minutes. Lots of nostalgia value if you're an old-series fan, a nice little glimpse at the Doctors you've missed if you're a new-series fan, and if you've never seen it at all and are wondering what the heck this thing is that I keep going on about, it'll actually give you a surprisingly good idea.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Better! So Much Better!
Computer-genius friends rock. My screen display is... well, a teensy bit out-of-proportion, really, because my computer doesn't seem to support exactly the right resolution for the new monitor. But it's perfectly legible and usable, and my icons no longer look like they're made of Duplo blocks. And my buddy thinks he might actually have a spare video card that'll work for me; he's going to let me know.
Hooray! Man, possibly the only feeling nearly as strong as the that sick-to-the-stomach sensation that happens when the computer gets messed up is the incredible feeling of relief when it's better. What's sad is, it took less time and effort for him to fix the thing than it did for me to break it.
By the way, in looking at the little serial-number plaque to make sure we were getting the correct drivers for it, we noticed that today happens to be my computer's fifth birthday. Happy B-Day, you bastard machine! (Actually, what's funny is that, when my friend noted this date, my reply was, "Yeah, I knew it must be five years old this month, because I got it the same month it was announced that Farscape was canceled. Hey, the only kind of nerd I'm not is a computer nerd." At least he got a laugh out of the experience.)
Hooray! Man, possibly the only feeling nearly as strong as the that sick-to-the-stomach sensation that happens when the computer gets messed up is the incredible feeling of relief when it's better. What's sad is, it took less time and effort for him to fix the thing than it did for me to break it.
By the way, in looking at the little serial-number plaque to make sure we were getting the correct drivers for it, we noticed that today happens to be my computer's fifth birthday. Happy B-Day, you bastard machine! (Actually, what's funny is that, when my friend noted this date, my reply was, "Yeah, I knew it must be five years old this month, because I got it the same month it was announced that Farscape was canceled. Hey, the only kind of nerd I'm not is a computer nerd." At least he got a laugh out of the experience.)
Computers: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Throw 'Em Out A Window When They Piss You Off. Even When You Really, Really Want To.
Aaargh. I just bought a new widescreen monitor and have now managed to utterly and completely fuck up the video display in the process of attempting to get the computer to produce the funky resolution settings said monitor prefers. This... is not good. I can still sort of use it, but it's kind of like the visual equivalent of working in thick wooly mittens. (Bad metaphor? I can't even tell. I am far, far too stressed.)
Having gone far, far, oh, so very far past the point where my attempts to fix things only started to make them worse, I now have given up and left a desperate message calling for my biggest computer-genius friend, who I am hoping will be able to swoop in like Superman and save the day. In the meantime, I'm cadging time on work computers. Which also seem to be having some problems today. Clearly it's some kind of epidemic.
Man. It's amazing how easily computer problems can give you that sick-to-your-stomach feeling.
Having gone far, far, oh, so very far past the point where my attempts to fix things only started to make them worse, I now have given up and left a desperate message calling for my biggest computer-genius friend, who I am hoping will be able to swoop in like Superman and save the day. In the meantime, I'm cadging time on work computers. Which also seem to be having some problems today. Clearly it's some kind of epidemic.
Man. It's amazing how easily computer problems can give you that sick-to-your-stomach feeling.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Oh, My Word!
Your Score: The Second Doctor
You scored 55% intelligence, 4% compassion, 45% sense of humor, and 17% weirdness!
Ah, the comedian! But a *capable* clown. You like to come across as a lovable goof, but in reality you're a genius who succumbs to occasional absent-mindedness. You know when to cut and run, and you know when you deny authority, no matter how laughable you sound. Your turn-ons include Charlie Chaplin, The Beatles, men in kilts, women in catsuits, flutists, and your giddy aunt. Your turn-offs include omnipotent beings who like to interfere with your affairs, the ever-persistent Cybermen (heck, you don't even like cybersex!), and thinking about the lisping dandy you'll eventually become.
| Link: The Which Doctor Who Are You? Test written by TottersLane on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Oh, come on, surely I'm both much weirder and much more compassionate than that! Not that I'm complaining about the result because, aww, how can you not love the Second Doctor?
Also, this quiz is full of the Doctor Who love, and thus makes me happy.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
My Inbox Runneth Over
Damn it, you people need to stop e-mailing me and leaving me comments and generally being really interesting, so that I can step away from the internet and actually get something accomplished today!
Isn't That What Happened To Wesley Crusher?
| Betty figured out the undisputed meaning of life. | |
| ... afterward, Betty became an ideal and disappeared. | |
| 'How will you be remembered in history books?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Friday, September 07, 2007
Because, Hey, It's September...
Current clothes: Gray sweat pants. Black t-shirt that says "I'm blogging this." (My t-shirts always speak the truth!) White socks. Black sneakers. So, you know, pretty much the same kind of stuff I'm always wearing.
Current mood: Not too bad. Hungry. Does that count as a mood?
Current music: Most recently listened to some random-shuffle stuff again. I think the iPod is currently on a bit of a Rush kick. And so am I, for that matter, because the last thing I listened to before that was Rush's Snakes and Arrows, which I'm really liking. I wasn't super-impressed with Vapor Trails, to be completely honest, but this one is a terrific return to form.
Current annoyance: In what universe is it fair that I'm getting gray hairs but still have acne? Stupid human body.
Current thing: Sleeping. I've been living a mostly-nocturnal existence again for the last few weeks, and I've been doing some world-championship-quality sleeping during the day. Which beats the hell out of insomnia, but the fact that I keep having days where I hugely oversleep is making my circadian patterns even more bizarre than usual. Today I went to sleep at 11:30 AM. (Though admittedly it would have been earlier except for the fact that I stayed up to get my hair cut.) But that meant I slept until 8:00 PM, which is not so good, considering that tomorrow I have to be at work at 7:45.
Current desktop picture: This picture of Saturn by legendary space artist Chelsey Bonestell. Check out the space art blog I got it from. There's a lot of very cool art there.
Current book: Recently finished Ethan of Athos by Lois McMaster Bujold. Next up: Kockroach by Tyler Knox.
Current song in head: Well, now it's random Rush tunes.
Current DVD in player: Disc four of season 2 of Numb3rs. I kind of love this show. It's like "Mathnet" for adults! Although, honestly, I don't generally care all that much about the plots, or even about whether the mathematics is entirely right and relevant. It's just that I could watch Charlie Eppes for hours. He's unbelievably cute, and he fights crime with math. Is it possible for any human being to be more appealing? I also love his buddy Larry, with his endearing way of drawing metaphors between human relationships and physics. He makes me incredibly nostalgic for college, because back when I was studying astrophysics, I swear, we really did talk exactly like that.
Current refreshment: Water. I woke up kind of dehydrated today. I think both that and my oversleeping is due in large part to the fact that it's cooled off enough here for me not to want to turn the swamp cooler on before I go to sleep, but not so much that the house doesn't get somnolently warm by the afternoon.
Current worry: Oh, hell, I don't know. Possibly something to do with that procrastination thing I mentioned the other day, but I am at least making some progress on things now.
Current thought: Hungry. Huuuuuuungry!
Current mood: Not too bad. Hungry. Does that count as a mood?
Current music: Most recently listened to some random-shuffle stuff again. I think the iPod is currently on a bit of a Rush kick. And so am I, for that matter, because the last thing I listened to before that was Rush's Snakes and Arrows, which I'm really liking. I wasn't super-impressed with Vapor Trails, to be completely honest, but this one is a terrific return to form.
Current annoyance: In what universe is it fair that I'm getting gray hairs but still have acne? Stupid human body.
Current thing: Sleeping. I've been living a mostly-nocturnal existence again for the last few weeks, and I've been doing some world-championship-quality sleeping during the day. Which beats the hell out of insomnia, but the fact that I keep having days where I hugely oversleep is making my circadian patterns even more bizarre than usual. Today I went to sleep at 11:30 AM. (Though admittedly it would have been earlier except for the fact that I stayed up to get my hair cut.) But that meant I slept until 8:00 PM, which is not so good, considering that tomorrow I have to be at work at 7:45.
Current desktop picture: This picture of Saturn by legendary space artist Chelsey Bonestell. Check out the space art blog I got it from. There's a lot of very cool art there.
Current book: Recently finished Ethan of Athos by Lois McMaster Bujold. Next up: Kockroach by Tyler Knox.
Current song in head: Well, now it's random Rush tunes.
Current DVD in player: Disc four of season 2 of Numb3rs. I kind of love this show. It's like "Mathnet" for adults! Although, honestly, I don't generally care all that much about the plots, or even about whether the mathematics is entirely right and relevant. It's just that I could watch Charlie Eppes for hours. He's unbelievably cute, and he fights crime with math. Is it possible for any human being to be more appealing? I also love his buddy Larry, with his endearing way of drawing metaphors between human relationships and physics. He makes me incredibly nostalgic for college, because back when I was studying astrophysics, I swear, we really did talk exactly like that.
Current refreshment: Water. I woke up kind of dehydrated today. I think both that and my oversleeping is due in large part to the fact that it's cooled off enough here for me not to want to turn the swamp cooler on before I go to sleep, but not so much that the house doesn't get somnolently warm by the afternoon.
Current worry: Oh, hell, I don't know. Possibly something to do with that procrastination thing I mentioned the other day, but I am at least making some progress on things now.
Current thought: Hungry. Huuuuuuungry!
Damn My Guilty Conscience!
  | |
 | Ten Years: You would get caught, but only because of the guilt you'd feel. You would sign a plea bargain and spend your years in jail feeling really bad about what you'd done. |
 | |
| from QuizGalaxy.com | |
The Triumphant Return of the Doctor Who Discussion Post
Tonight's Doctor Who episode here in the US is "The Family of Blood," meaning that all you poor souls who had to wait for two weeks to see the conclusion can finally ease your suffering. As usual, if you've got something to say, talk! But no spoilers past the current episode, please.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Memo To Myself: Do The Dumb Things I Gotta Do
My life would probably be much easier right now if I'd just stop stressing about all the things I'm supposed to be doing and started actually, y'know, doing them.
On the plus side, though, procrastination at least leads to me having clean carpets.
On the plus side, though, procrastination at least leads to me having clean carpets.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Not A Doctor Who Discussion Thread
There's no Doctor Who on in America tonight, alas. But you can feel free to make up your own imaginary episode and talk about that if you like. Or go and comment on "Human Nature" some more.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Apostrophic Anarchy
So, last week I read a book called The Dead Fathers Club by Matt Haig, which I very much enjoyed, but which had an odd typographical feature: there are no quotation marks or apostrophes in it anywhere. There's plenty of contractions and dialog, mind you; it's just that those particular bits of punctuation seem to have gone MIA. Despite this, I found it perfectly easy to read, and, hey, there was a justification for the conceit: the story is supposedly being written down by an 11-year-old kid. And, while an 11-year-old damned well ought to know how to use quotes and apostrophes, I could certainly see one not bothering. So, fine.
But then, yesterday, I read Cormac McCarthy's The Road (despite, rather than because of Oprah's recommendation, I might add). And I liked that one, too, but it also leaves out all the quotation marks and apostrophes. I'm not sure what the idea is there. Were they all destroyed in the apocalypse? Or is this some sort of weird new literary trend? I mean, I've seen people ditch the quote marks before, but apostrophes? What did apostrophes ever do to anybody, other than shoving themselves into far too many science fiction character names?
This is actually kind of starting to bug me. Not quite as much as encountering quote marks and apostrophes where they don't belong does. But enough.
But then, yesterday, I read Cormac McCarthy's The Road (despite, rather than because of Oprah's recommendation, I might add). And I liked that one, too, but it also leaves out all the quotation marks and apostrophes. I'm not sure what the idea is there. Were they all destroyed in the apocalypse? Or is this some sort of weird new literary trend? I mean, I've seen people ditch the quote marks before, but apostrophes? What did apostrophes ever do to anybody, other than shoving themselves into far too many science fiction character names?
This is actually kind of starting to bug me. Not quite as much as encountering quote marks and apostrophes where they don't belong does. But enough.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Doctor Who Discussion Post #3
Oh, and for those who have managed to see the episode, here's another Doctor Who discussion post. Because they're fun, even if we never do seem to end up talking about the actual episode much.
Currently airing in the US: "Human Nature." Feel free to drop a comment below if you have anything to say about this episode, Doctor Who in general, or anything else the conversation happens to drift toward, but, as usual, I'll ask you to avoid anything spoilery for later episodes.
By the way, it looks like Who will not be airing on Sci Fi next week, having be pre-empted for some reason or other. I know that this will seem like a particularly cruel point at which to make you wait an extra week, but if I recall correctly, this was also the point at which the show was pre-empted in its original UK run, in order to air the Eurovision contest. So it's only fair, really.
Currently airing in the US: "Human Nature." Feel free to drop a comment below if you have anything to say about this episode, Doctor Who in general, or anything else the conversation happens to drift toward, but, as usual, I'll ask you to avoid anything spoilery for later episodes.
By the way, it looks like Who will not be airing on Sci Fi next week, having be pre-empted for some reason or other. I know that this will seem like a particularly cruel point at which to make you wait an extra week, but if I recall correctly, this was also the point at which the show was pre-empted in its original UK run, in order to air the Eurovision contest. So it's only fair, really.
Clearly It Is Some Sort Of Evil Dalek Plot.
I do not freakin' believe this! I told someone I'd get them a VHS copy of tonight's Doctor Who episode, but first when I tried to transfer it from a computer file on disc, my extra-fancy plays-everything DVD player started glitching badly on the soundtrack syncing, to the point where it was pretty much unwatchable. "No problem," says I. "I'll just record it for you when it comes on!" Yeah. Take a wild, wild guess which one single cable channel appears to be out right now. Why does the universe conspire against me? Whhhhhhy?
Well, maybe it'll be back by the time tonight's repeat comes on. Maybe.
(Geosomin, if you're reading this, don't panic. I'll get it to ya one way or another, I promise. I'll send you an e-mail and let you know whether I ended up getting it tonight or not.)
Well, maybe it'll be back by the time tonight's repeat comes on. Maybe.
(Geosomin, if you're reading this, don't panic. I'll get it to ya one way or another, I promise. I'll send you an e-mail and let you know whether I ended up getting it tonight or not.)
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